Realizing that if I didn't act fast to change the course of my life, I was going to be sized-out of Lane Bryant within a year. (now I'm sized-out of most of their clothes in the OTHER direction )
Mine was not a single straw, but a build up of a few. And the above reason was an enormous, ENORMOUS fear of mine. I was terrifed I would have no clothing to wear. It was hard enough finding clothing that I could tolerate enough to buy, but I was certain it was only a short time before I couldn't find ANYthing to fit my large body.
That and the fact that I always had it in my mind that I must take care of this before I was 50. You just didn't see too many 5 feet nothing, 287 lb 50 year old females walking around. I started my journey at 42.
Another straw - my children were getting close to marriagable ages and I knew there was no way I could get through the work needed before the wedding and the actual event, being so heavy. I had no energy and could barely stand for more then 8 - 10 minutes at a time. How in the world would I get through their weddings?
I also want to be there for them in many ways. Who would help set up their homes. Baby sit the grandkids? I wanted to/want to be an ACTIVE grandma.
I had tremendous fears about my health and what I was doing to myself. I was certain a disaster was going to strike. An avoidable one at that.
My knees were killing me. Getting around was becoming more and more difficult. Next to impossible. I knew if I didn't do something it would only get worse and worse.
I do remember passing a glass window at the mall one day and seeing the reflection of a very wide person and thinking "Wow, this person is humongous". Of course it was my very own reflection.
My quality of life was poor. I just couldn't go on the way that I was. SOMETHING had to change and I HAD to change it.
So, that's my "straws". Probably a few others, but that's what comes to my head now.
I think there were lots of straws! But mostly I guess realizing that my size 22 jeans were getting tight and I needed to go up a size coupled with the fact that I was expecting a visit from family that I hadn't seen in years, and who hadn't seen pictures of me in years.
In any case, I don't think that was different from many times before but this time I also found a plan that worked and I could stick to, and found great support here at 3fc, so all things aligned and I have found success for the first time ever!
I was in New Orleans last month. I was people-watching and found myself looking at a woman trudging down the sidewalk. She was near my age, but she looked hot and tired and defeated and frumpy. She was wearing "I've given up clothes - Stacey and Clinton," and her feet hurt. I thought, "I look like that. I don't want to be that woman."
I used to be a beautiful woman - stopped traffic on a regular basis, loved shopping and fashion, confident and out-going, always up for something fun and an adventure. That was only five years ago...that's the woman I'm going to be again.
For me it was just generally feeling crappy about myself, inside and out and two contributing factors were seeing 199 on the scale and not wanting to be 200 and seeing a picture of myself next to my boyfriend when he came home from deployment and I looked like a baby whale in a dress
Mine was not a single straw, but a build up of a few. And the above reason was an enormous, ENORMOUS fear of mine. I was terrifed I would have no clothing to wear. It was hard enough finding clothing that I could tolerate enough to buy, but I was certain it was only a short time before I couldn't find ANYthing to fit my large body.
That and the fact that I always had it in my mind that I must take care of this before I was 50. You just didn't see too many 5 feet nothing, 287 lb 50 year old females walking around. I started my journey at 42.
Another straw - my children were getting close to marriagable ages and I knew there was no way I could get through the work needed before the wedding and the actual event, being so heavy. I had no energy and could barely stand for more then 8 - 10 minutes at a time. How in the world would I get through their weddings?
I also want to be there for them in many ways. Who would help set up their homes. Baby sit the grandkids? I wanted to/want to be an ACTIVE grandma.
I had tremendous fears about my health and what I was doing to myself. I was certain a disaster was going to strike. An avoidable one at that.
My knees were killing me. Getting around was becoming more and more difficult. Next to impossible. I knew if I didn't do something it would only get worse and worse.
I do remember passing a glass window at the mall one day and seeing the reflection of a very wide person and thinking "Wow, this person is humongous". Of course it was my very own reflection.
My quality of life was poor. I just couldn't go on the way that I was. SOMETHING had to change and I HAD to change it.
So, that's my "straws". Probably a few others, but that's what comes to my head now.
In 2007 I took my better half to VA Beach for a birthday weekend. Many pictures were taken & one in particular of this HUGE, out-of-shape schlump that I had become, made me emotionally & physically sick ! THAT pic is now my desktop on my 'puter and is my screensaver. It is the constant reminder of bad choices in the past & how I had let myself get THAT big. It's the kick in the arse I need to make sure I NEVER let it happen again ! After watching diabetes take my Pop, it robbing my Mom of her golden years & being diagnosed myself as diabetic in 2006, you'd think THAT was enough impetus. Nope it took that photo staring back at me.
It's been a rough & slooooooooow journey, but I've finally realized that even though it took what seemed like seconds to put the weight ON, it's going to take REAL time to get it off. Then couple THAT with the embarking on an exercise regime whilst dealing with angina, severe sciatica, bulging discs and twice repaired knee --the term "no pain, no gain" literally makes me LAUGH !
However with the strength I didn't think I could muster and the support of good friends & this place, I've taken the first step to the rest of my life ...... every single day.
Like Amanda, I saw my medical records, and seeing the term "mildly obese" applied to ME was like being hit over the head with a 2 X 4. I mean, I might have been a bit overweight, a little chubby, baby weight, grad school weight, a few to lose, but OBESE? Never....until I did the BMI calculations (which I know has limitations), but the nurse practitioner was correct. I was....obese.
So that kicked off my first two serious efforts to lose weight. But I stopped those efforts and regained the weight.
This last round was stimulated by a photo at a Mothers Day picnic last spring. Our midwifery practice was celebrating an anniversary so we had a little party and I saw the world's most unflattering picture of myself hunched over shoveling Chinese food into my mouth as though it would be the last time I would ever be able to eat, and I was appalled. Worst. Picture. Ever.
I knew I had to make permanent changes, but I mulled over things for a few more months. Then a neonatologist asked me when I was due....the horror of being asked that when I am not pregnant! But how was she to know? I looked pregnant....
I guess it was a lot of events that had a cumulative effect. I've learned a lot along the way, and I am never going back.
My boyfriend proposed! That was motivation in its self! I had also seen a pic that we took together there after and didn't like myself in the picture and decided I have to look spectacular for my wedding.
During the spring semester of this year I resolved on several different occasions that I finally had to do something about my weight. I came in as a freshman weighing around 150, and within a year and a half I was up to 168.
I weighed 160 in middle school, but I was shorter (and also in middle school - NO ONE's most glamorous period!) and being that heavy made me think of my larger, shorter, pimply, hormonal self - not pretty. (Looking back on it I looked nothing like that, of course, but seeing the number on the scale inevitably reminded me of that time of my life.)
I didn't like that I had put on that much weight that quickly. I didn't like that I was relying on food for comfort and the scale was showing it. I didn't like that my boyfriend couldn't pick me up for more than about half a second (maybe that says bad things about his strength as well as my weight... :P). I didn't like that I couldn't find a cute bathing suit. I looked at my photos from spring break, when I finally got to wear more summery clothes (shorts, swimsuit, tank tops) and realized how pudgy I looked in so many of them.
It was a combination of all of these realizations that led me to resolve to diet this summer. On several different occasions, when I was feeling down about my weight, I swore to myself that my diet would begin the very day I flew home for the summer. And it did. And you know what? I'm 20 pounds down and not looking back. And thanks to all of your support and inspiration I'm in for the long haul; this will be a lifestyle change. I don't want to see 168 again, and god knows I don't want to see anything higher than that either - I want to nip this in the bud by being healthy for the rest of my life.
The last straw was even though my BMI is 25 point something, I've always wanted to be in better shape. Watching my mom and my FIL struggle with health issues has made me determined that I *will* be 60 years old one day (in 30 years!) and I *will* be able to play with my grandchildren. I don't want to have to sit back on the sidelines and not be able to participate because I've got health issues or not taken care of myself physically. I've had 2 back surgeries, and have DDD. So I knew the first step to being able to be the type of person I want to be in 30+ years is to get fit.
)
There's a me...
