Angie here-
I spent many years dealing with this "problem". Imagine waking in the middle of the night to this horrible stench, only to see a green fog hovering over the bed!
Whenever I wanted my revenge, I would just eat a lot of Hershey's chocolate and that would do the trick.
I do have to say, it's been pretty nice not having the green foghovering over my at night!!!
I can totally relate to this thread topic; and Lizzy, you are so right; except that I say, "PUT A CORK IN IT, PAL!"
My DH does it all; blaming the dogs, the flies, the invisible mouse; me ~ you name it; just not himself, of course! You gotta have a sense of humor in this life; esp in marriage ...
My DH even has a hat that says on the front "OLD FART" ... I told him that I'm gonna have to get one made saying, "OLD FART'S WIFE" to match ~ LOL!
ANGIE ~ I here ya on the green fog ... some nights, I need a gas mask!
My DH is addicted to toasted peanut butter sandwiches; I think that's the culprit ... so, what's in your gasless diet regime, GARY???
What IS it with men and farting? I remember I dated this guy a few years ago... he got pretty comfortable around me... and then any time I spent the night, I'd wake up to him farting! He said, "It's morning thunder. All guys get it." Gross!
My dad also rips big, loud farts all the time, but all dads do, right? Isn't it a prerequisite?
That's one nice thing about being in a relationship with another woman - there's no massive amount of farting involved HOWEVER, because she believes girls don't fart, I have been the one known to blame it on the dog!
Last edited by NightengaleShane; 09-20-2007 at 07:42 AM.
She came home from her mom's a few months ago with boxers for me that were Monty Python (one of her family favorites) that said "I fart in your direction" on the back of them!!
Oh, that's awesome! My husband should have some of those. He's lactose intolerant and he eats cheese for dinner even though he KNOWS he will have gas and have to sleep downstairs on the couch, otherwise he wakes me up lettin' em rip!
hehehe morning thunder. i woke up startled as **** one morning - then realized that's what it was. when i told dh his butt woke me up in the morning he just thought it was freaking hilarious.
I'm am laughing so hard reading this thread I have tears running down my face.
When my husband and I were on 2nd or 3rd date, we had been drinking a little, when he farted in front of the fireplace in my living room. So romantic. When I commented on it, he replied something like "I can't date you if I can't fart in front of you." Been doing it ever since. He also told me his farts didn't stink until he married me.
My oldest daughter gets upset when anyone in the family farts. She denies ever passing gas & I tell her that's not normal. If she ever has surgery, we will never feed you because you have to pass gas to get real food. It's how we tell that your intestines are functioning normal after surgery. We tell patients it's the only time you'll get applauded for farting.
My boyfriend used to do it too.....i would smell something and not know whether it was the dog or him cause they both would look at me like they did something
That^^is tooooo funny!!!
It has actually been the other way around for me.
Since I started eating right, I mean really eating right, I have become the most gas-e person on the planet. And that don't all smell like roses! I live alone so at night no one has to suffer except Precious, my only chog (child/dog).
I'm with everyone who said that since STARTING the healthy eating, MORE gas happens! I've made the girlfriend leave the room on several occasions I try not to fart around her (or anyone), but holding it back is just UNCOMFORTABLE and we've been together 2.5 years... like murphmitch's husband, I also can't date anyone who I can't fart around... well, not in a long term way, anyway! and trooworld, my morning thunder guy was lactose intolerant also (not severely, he told me), but he still ate ice cream and cheese. *pukey face* His lactose farts were LOUD AND PUTRID!
I also had a science teacher who would fart then simultaneously kick the trash can!
hmmm "wonders if i'm a guy in a past life" i swear DH always laughs at me and calls me his "lil tooting machine". Hmmmm and i usually blame it on the dog...so maybe i was a man in a past life????? oh well.. DH loves me anyways. I don't have too bad of a gas issue right now, but when i did WW last year, not sure why, but i swear i got more gassy???? ah oh well..we all need to toot....who cares if we are destroying the ozone with our noxious fumes LMAO
Well I see my wife snuck into this thread last night, I figured she might after I mentioned it. She came in from BUNKO and says "What did you do tonight babe?"~ "Oh, not much, a little DODGER watching and started a Fart thread on Fat Chicks." ~ "did you mention my family?" ~ "Of course" "Figures"
Angies dad and my grandma always said "barking spiders"
Actually, I bring the shame to an all-time low...I blame mine on the kids. It was easier when Kyle was a baby but I can't get away with it anymore. I try the dog, but pretty much, everyone in the house knows I inherited my dad's gas gene and that if there's a floating biscuit in the room, its probably mine.
I can totally relate to this thread topic; and Lizzy, you are so right; except that I say, "PUT A CORK IN IT, PAL!" 
I live alone so at night no one has to suffer except Precious, my only chog (child/dog).
I try not to fart around her (or anyone), but holding it back is just UNCOMFORTABLE and we've been together 2.5 years... like murphmitch's husband, I also can't date anyone who I can't fart around... well, not in a long term way, anyway! 
