[NewDay4MeToo]

I am concerned for you... you are far from home and this guy has every comfort he has always had, plus the fabulous YOU. He should be thrilled to have you and bending over backwards to make you comfortable and happy. You should feel special when you are with him, not worried sick over this smoking situation that was sort of deceptive.

I am sure your family loves you and would be happy to have you home, if that's what you decide.

Best wishes

[azraelya]

But, when it came down to it, I wasn't going to pass on Mr. Perfect (well at least perfect for me) because of fear for the future

Oh kaplods!.. that is exactly what I'm trying to work on. I love him so much. He treats me wonderfully. Because I'm younger and going to college he is (financially) the sole provider for not only me, but taking care of his mother as well. He is such a good man, and my problem with smoking isn't how it affects me, but the deep worry of our future being cut short by the health risks. Of course being overweight is just as great of a health risk, and just like smoking, I guess it was my choice to indulge in what I wanted and get that way. I'm trying to deal with this, because he is worth it. He was worth moving for. This is worth at least trying to deal with.

Robin-- you're right, the 'lie' aspect wasn't so big of a concern to me. The only positive about this situation is the fact that he finally admitted something huge and (in his opinion) shameful about himself. He feels he's cleared up his one and only deep, dark shameful secret from me, and he feels so confident about the relationship if we can fully work through this. My family doesn't like him largely in part for the fact that I moved so far away. I'm sure that resentment will die down with time, and hopefully with my showing of happiness

Newday-- I appreciate your concern, very much. Everything was going beautifully in the relationship 'till this happened. We survived a year and a half of scarcely seeing each other, and I want very much to try anything and everything to work through this with him. He's never, ever been a "bend over backwards" type of guy, and I think honestly that's one of the things I've admired about it. I'm such a passive person, and he's so strong and stubborn. We're so very opposites, and it's so true opposites attract ;/ I'd change anything and everything, and he'll always stick true to what he wants. There's probably positives and negatives to both personality types but.. eh.

Again, I really, really appreciate all of your input on this. It's so nice to have unbiased, honest advice and even moreso, so helpful to hear related situations and be able to empathize

'Luv you guys