I went to the grocery store and somehow cookies, pies , cakes, ice cream, candy bars and donuts happened to fall off the shelves into my grocery cart,not noticing they were in my cart when I went to the checkout stand I accidently paid for them and accidently took them home.Of course when I got home I didn't want to be wasteful so I had to eat this stuff. This happened many times. I was never able to understand how this happened.
Hoplesseness. Complete, utter, hopelesseness. I was made aware of my weight problem from a young age and spent the next 20 years stigmatized. I thought that if I could just stop eating my problems would go away. Well, you can't just not eat and that coupled with a hormonal issue brought on by PCOS, well, I just felt hopeless. i was fat and would always be fat and lived life accordingly- overeating the wrong foods and not exercising.
And that is what made me stay fat.
I went to the grocery store and somehow cookies, pies , cakes, ice cream, candy bars and donuts happened to fall off the shelves into my grocery cart,not noticing they were in my cart when I went to the checkout stand I accidently paid for them and accidently took them home.Of course when I got home I didn't want to be wasteful so I had to eat this stuff. This happened many times. I was never able to understand how this happened.
Depression - gained 60lbs the first year of it & continued deep into the depression for 10 years.
Developed bad habits that I'm still trying to kick. I used to go for fast food 'cause it was soothing now it's just a habit - no longer soothing.
Do have a family history of slow metabolism & have developed pcos, but that just means the fat may move off my body slower - right?!
Another one was that dh & I both grew up in households where there was absolutely no "extras" with food & drink (for different reasons). We NEVER had pop in the house. So when we first moved out together we went the total opposite way. We bought whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. It really truly took awhile for the novelty of being able to have a coke whenever you wanted to wear off. Plus, for a long time I still always felt like if I didn't eat all of it NOW it wouldn't be there later & I wouldn't be able to have any of it. I still find myself having to reassure myself that there will still be "treats" tomorrow if I really want them.
Denial. Straight up, far-reaching, all-around denial. I should have made my name Cleopatra!
I denied the truth about how much I was eating.
I denied the truth about what was going on in my life (abusive relationship) that was pushing me to eat.
I denied the truth about how much I was exercising.
I denied the truth about how active (read: sedentary) I was during the day.
Finally I woke up, admitted the truth, and asked for help. And look what I got!
I was thin as a child. My weight problems started when I went thru puberty at 11 and started high school at 12. I was probaby packing an extra 20 lbs then but it felt like the weight of the world at that age. I carried an extra 20 to 40 lbs thru college and most of my adult life. Weight went up during high stress, down when I felt more in control of my life. Ate healthy all month long & then would go nuts around my period.
Started my own business, got really stressed, and got up to an extra 100 lbs. over last five years. Down 18 lbs this month. I want to DO things again, like sports. And I'm getting too old to carry that much weight. I'm healthy & want to stay that way.
this is how it went down. high school ended so did my soccer team. got into a serious relationship were fighting occured and ice cream appeared/ and never did any movement spent to much time with him, he is a fast food junkie and poofffff fat just like that. its all his fault lol
I struggled not to gain weight once I hit my mid-20s; before that I was normal sized throughout childhood and teen years. Then in my early 30s I got a sedentary job. I tried to remain fit during this time, but it was sporadic. I didn't curb what I was eating. I did sometimes try to lose weight, and then when I had lost it I went back to bad habits.
Basically, I had a sedentary job, I didn't exercise, and I ate too much. That's what happened!
Mine was a very slow gain over the years, starting around the end of elementary school, I'd say. I haven't successfully stuck with any diet or exercise plan I attempted for more than about a week (Atkin's in high school was hellish!) so there hasn't been much fluctuation in weight - it just crept on slow and steady. Why?
I didn't exercise. I was (and still am!) really lazy. I live in AZ and HATE sweating, so I take my car everywhere. As for food, I didn't eat very much at all, but I only ate once or twice per day and it was always really unhealthy food. Lastly, I've never been great at holding down a job, so I've always got money problems, and therefore have a VERY hard time condoning food waste, so it goes to my hips/thighs/butt instead.
Depression -- Going on medication made me gain over 100 lbs. When I started taking Risperdal, all I wanted to do was eat and sleep. And the food was comforting.
Also, recovery from years and years of bulimia. I got control of the purges but not the binges.
-Stopped Cheerleading and playing Softball simulataneously in the 11th grade. I was used to eating anything I wanted because I got so much exercise..
-Kept eating the way I did when I was active, whilst sitting around on my *** most of the time and gaining more weight.
-We ate out ALOT. Mom was very busy my last couple of years at home (and even though she was a great cook), we would just run to the nearest fast food joint and pick up supper. Those habits continued with me through college.
-Stopped playing tennis and golf and swimming when I moved away from home to college, so what little exercise I had left was gone.
-Ordered pizza every week because I could get 3 pizzas for $15 and eat all week (yes, week old pizza does get kinda nasty). It was cheap. Ate a lot of McDonald's too, also for the cheap factor. Ramen too...
I gained my weight while battling an illness that had me pretty much bed-bound, on a medical diet that is NOT conducive to weight loss (to say the least!), and on three different meds that had "weight gain" as a potential side effect.
Now, before I point my finger at the illness directly, it was my decision to ignore my weight, so the blame rests entirely with me. There was so much to deal with that I made a conscious decision to put my weight (and vegetarianism) on hold while I got the pain under control, and deal with whatever I was left with once I reached that point, so that I wouldn't have to divide my energy. I still believe that was the right decision for me at the time, and I don't regret it.
I think that's part of why losing this weight has been so cathartic for me...I'm shedding the part of me that was dealing with this illness. Two more pounds, and that illness weight will be gone entirely. The illness will always be a part of me, but once I lose this weight, it's almost like...I've won? Stretch marks are my battle scars, but the fat didn't stay. ...it's kind of weird to describe, and I'm not sure I'm doing the sentiment justice, so I'll stop typing and hit "post"! :P
Let's see.. I was a size 6 leaving high school and the dance team, we usually practiced 15 hours a week if we were lucky and our coach was satisfied :-) and still ate huge portions and then started eating fast food when on my own but no exercise at all. It eventually caught up to me 2 years later after the death of my father at the age of 39 from bone cancer and then my mom was in a horrible motorcycle wreck and wasn't expected to live and was in a coma for almost a week and then when she did survive :-) I was her caretaker 24/7 for a year and half. I also went into a deep depression over all of the events in my life and feeling like a loser and angry that I wasn't able to go to college and do the things I wanted to do. I had absolutely no help at all in caring for my mother even from the few relatives that lived close enough to help and had no jobs and they are young and healthy no kids and they have absolutely nothing to do during the day. I was really mad about that. The Social worker we worked with even recommended my mom go to a nursing home but the closest nursing home with all the therapy and rehabilitive services she would need to learn how to walk again if she didn't eventually lose her leg was five hours away and I wouldn't have had a place to live. And I ate to comfort myself even more. And then just as my mom was able to go back to work and actually walk and not need as much care she got diagnosed with Stage 3/4 Breast Cancer. Eventually I gained 85 pounds in a year and half. Then I got married and started focusing on myself and resolving all my health issues from depression and stress and going back to school and work. It's been a long road for me. But what doesn't kill you DOES make you stronger! I'm enjoying reading everyone's stories.
