-I had to put my weightloss front and center, something very difficult for women and mothers. I had to really, really focus on it. ALthough it might have been selfish, in the long run - it benefits everyone and everything around you. There is not one person in the family who will not benefit from my being healthier and HAPPIER.
I just wanted to add to this one real quick.....this was a biggie for me, but believe me when I tell you it does get easier. For the first time in my life, not just my married life, my "mom" life, but in my WHOLE life, I put me first. I even said it out loud, repeatedly, to my DH, to my kids, to who ever needed to hear "no" to something. I told them all "whatever" you need (fill in the blank yourself) is my number one priority....after me. Yep, I told them, "you're first, after me" too many times to count! And you know what? none of them suffered for it. They may have had to wait an extra hour before they got to go to the mall, or whatever, while I exercised or did whatever I needed to do for me, but I needed to come first for a change. Now when they come find me while I'm exercising, they start off their requests with "after you're finished, can we.....?". It works, and it sinks in, and it will do you so much good. Put yourself and your needs first.
Kelly, it's too funny how you mentioned exercise. Because quite often that's where the "problems" first occured. I need to do it and of course they need - SOMETHING. I felt sooo guilty at first, but like I said - it is benefiting everyone. And they are so very, very proud of me. Everyone has adjusted and they all know to let Mom get her exercise in. They don't resent it not one little bit, in fact they get a big kick out of it. And Kelly, they same the same exact thing, "Ma, when you're done can we ___________" Amazing.
Another area was the food. I had to stop making some family favorites. Especially in the beginning and of course clearing the house of junk, funny enough we didn't have too much junk in the house. Cause whatever there was I would get a hold of it before they could. But the truth of the matter is if it's garbage food, well then WHO needs it? NO ONE. I still make yummy, yummy food, so although they may not be old standbys - they are new and IMPROVED.
Find things that you like to eat. For some, this will mean trying new things and learning to like them. For other times, this may just be adapting recipes that you already have.
What a fantastic thread! I just have one thing to add...
Don't let anyone ever make you feel like what you're doing is "wrong" as long as you're getting the results you want. If the scale is moving down and the measuring tape is showing results, then keep doing what you're doing regardless of the advice people give you, no matter how well-intentioned it is. This goes for eating AND exercise.
What a fantastic thread! I just have one thing to add...
Don't let anyone ever make you feel like what you're doing is "wrong" as long as you're getting the results you want. If the scale is moving down and the measuring tape is showing results, then keep doing what you're doing regardless of the advice people give you, no matter how well-intentioned it is. This goes for eating AND exercise.
Thanks, Lisa! This is a good one. This has been a struggle for me in the past. Not anymore!
I think the big issue is not on LOSING the weight but MAINTAINING the loss. So I think we have to be careful about defining success. I see a lot of people come on here with plans they are very excited about. They lose some weight -- it's "working"!! They get more excited. And then, things stop working. It's hard to tell what happens, because all of us struggle from time to time, but it seems that for many people, they have a plan that works for a while, but not in the long run.
So, think about what success means, your long term goals, and how to STAY there once you get there. What looks like the fastest path may just be a fast path to nowhere.
The biggest thing that has helped me this time is support. I've tried to lose weight on my own. Keeping it secret from those around me. However this time, I joined WW with my SIL. So my whole family knows. At first I was a little worried about that, but I think it's the reason that I have done better this time. It's nice to have those around you know that your trying to eating healthier and lose weight. WW meetings have been great support for me, and of course 3FC is an amazing source of support. It's nice to have others to turn to and ask questions, give you encouragement when things aren't going as well as you think they should, and to help you celebrate your successess.
as boring as this sounds i eat the same thing every single day for breakfast and lunch.
In the morning Im in a rush anyway and it would be anything I'm shoving in my mouth so I've just made a habit out of having the same healthy thing everyday.
Then everyday for lunch I have soup and salad and fruit. I change up the soup (home-made) every once in a while and sometimes I put ham on my salad and sometimes bits of boiled chicken. The fruit is whatever was on sale that week. But the basic template stays the same. I've been having the same homemade oil vinagrette dressing everyday for 2 years solid.
Honestly my dinner doesn't vary too much either and I rotate the same old same old. It seems boring but honestly by the time any meal rolls around I'm just ready to insert food into mouth-hole to fill hunger.
At some point I stopped eating pasta and then it turned into bread and now it's all wheat products in general. I also credit this for helping me shed the pounds.
PLAN. Take the time out for YOURSELF and PLAN ahead.
STOP ALL NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. You are not Ugly. You are not a pig. You are not disgusting. You are not a failure. You are not stupid. We are our own worst enemy when it comes to how we talk to ourselves!
Don't "hope" or "try" or "going to" or "if only" yourself. Just do. Do it. Don't make excuses. You are only harming yourself when you make excuses.
MOVE, EVERY DAY. Again, take the time out for yourself and do some sort of movement, every single day, for 20 minutes. You don't go out of the house without brushing your teeth or changing from your pajamas to regular clothes do you? Treat exercise/movement as just one of those daily things that you do.
When you think that you "can't" - reach out and ASK for support. There is no reason whatsoever that you have to do this alone. Someone out there cares and wants to support you!
Food items are not morally "good" or "bad". Switch your thinking to foods which are healthy and not-so-healthy. Remember that you are the one in control and you CHOOSE. IF you choose something that is not so healthy, make sure you enjoy and savour every single bite. Take the time to enjoy it. You'll find you will stuff yourself silly less. YOU are not BAD if you choose something that is not-so-healthy. It's your choice and your right to do so.
