Put me on the May train with you guys. May 15th is my target date.

I've cut back my alcohol a lot in the last month - I'm averaging 1 serving two nights per week now.

I'm usually in good shape unless I get home from work and DH has already poured a glass for me. Not often enough, I make that glass last through dinner and typically forego dessert for another glass. Which tends to turn into another one when I sit down in the LR with the iPad. 4/wk is a hardship, yet still gives me the flexibility to save them all for a weekend if I want. As long as I have choices, I should be okay ... if I tried to say "No more, period", y'all might've been watching the tantrum on the evening news!

So we always seem to go one step forward then two steps back with XW.

So last thing I mentioned in here was that I was happy because she brought DSS over to see me at Target.

Then we had him overnight the night before his birthday, so he was at our house on birthday morning. Daddy was scheduled to take him to Wendy's for a birthday breakfast. Mommy is scheduled to have lunch with him at school. (Last year they had breakfast, then I had lunch with him at school.) So Friday morning when I'm leaving the bathroom to get his breakfast ready he stops me and says "I've got something I need to tell you" with serious face. I turn around and he says "I really wanted you to go to my birthday breakfast with me and mommy and daddy, but when I asked her about it she said 'it's either her or me'." With little tears running down his face, but otherwise perfectly calm. He then tells me that she said "It's okay if you don't want to see your mommy for breakfast on your birthday, go ahead and bring her." I almost cried. So I sat him down and assured him that I would have liked to go, but mommy won't let me. He tells me that it is my turn to go to breakfast, so I should call mommy and tell her. I tell him that mommy won't let that happen, that mommy had planned it. He says "mommy always plans everything, she never lets you do anything." Made me so mad I could barely breathe. And she wonders why he gets in trouble at school. And she took the lunch that day, too. Which he knew that I had done last year, so he didn't think it was fair that she got both.

Party went okay on Saturday - her folks were running late so they didn't get to open gifts before the party as they had planned. Which was the reason she kept him overnight on his birthday on what should have been our night - so they could come down. XW calls about 11:30 and tells us this and says "we have the party room for an hour, right?" Which we don't. Because we booked the freaking party that she requested. She says "Which package did you book? Well I guess that will have to be fine." Which one? The one she asked for.

I'm so tired.

Shannon , I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. What a crime she is doing to that little boy. I, personally feel that the more people who love my children and want them to have a good life, the better off they will be.
I'd like to be close enough to give you a hug right, now.

And thanks again here, Bargoo. Your reply made me smile. I needed that today.

Shannon, it sounds like you need to have some kind of intervention with XW to show her how much her animosity towards you is hurting her son. Alternatively, you need to get full custody of that kid.

On the alcohol topic, I usually have wine or something maybe 3 days in a week, 1-2 glasses each time. Sometimes has been more, sometimes less. Actually I've been on the higher end lately, but it's as easy for me to not have it as it is to have it.

Somewhat relatedly, DH and I are going to go see a genetic counselor next week. After a big hassle trying to get his labs done we ended up deciding to go to the counselor first in case they want to order more tests so we can have them done all at once. If his tests come back clean and we're cleared to have kids, my alcohol consumption will have to drop to zero, so it's a good thing I don't mind not having it.

My weight is holding steady at 137. Not where I want it, but not high enough to give me the kick in the pants I need to get motivated to lose. I'm having a hard time coming in under 1600 cals and I need to be at 1400 to lose.

Shannon, I cannot believe XW cannot put two and two together and recognize DSS's behavior problems are related to her actions. I admire you so much and I know DSS feels loved by you.

at everyone!

Unfortunately I think the XW is too close to the whole situation to understand she is part of the problem. She needs counseling--not the boy so much, IMO.

You're holding up really well, Shannon. It's got to be hard. Hugs from all of us!

Jessica~good luck on the genetic counseling!

Thanks guys. We're hoping that the counseling will make her face some of these issues, they are two weeks in so far and do the behavioral testing next week.

Jessica - I hope that your genetic testing goes well.

Jessica, hoping the genetic testing will come out as you wish.

In my experience difficult people not only have NO idea that they are difficult, and they will even deny it. It's never their fault, it's everybody else's. Yup, thinking of a few specific ones in my life.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this horrible woman, Shannon. You provide so much love and support to that little boy, he is lucky to have you in his life. I know it's hard, but stay strong.

Jessica, GL w the testing. Of course let us know how it goes.

I would like to enjoy a few drinks (usually wine or beer) on the weekends, bc drinking makes me so tired it's a bad idea during the work week. BF enjoys his happy hour but he's really supportive and respectful when I tell him I'm trying to watch what I consume - sometimes I go out with him and drink alcohol, sometimes I choose non-alcohol, sometimes I don't go. However my calories need to be fairly low and really "clean" to lose weight, and it's hard to fit alcohol in to that calorie budget, because I get so hungry I want to eat clean, filling foods with those calories so I won't become a ravenous hungry beast. (We need an icon for that too. doesn't convey that feeling.) Alcohol also makes me snacky, too, which furthers the problem. In "losing mode" I will try to let myself have 1-2 lower calorie alcohol beverages a week, but more than that and it stalls my loss too much. I get really frustrated by it when the social events pile up, but I tell myself I've got to stick to my guns and keep on trucking.

shannon, glad to have you aboard the MidMay Push. Sorry you have to deal with such a horrendous energy vampire in XW - some people are just so UGGGGHHH! Pass on a couple of hugs to DSS for me too, please - he sounds like a handful who's probably going to become an understanding, compassionate guy with your help. Strength to you!

jessica, best wishes for getting a thumbs-up on the tests! I will confess, I had 1 drink per week while pregnant. My OB said simply, "I can't sanction it, but I can say that at 1 per week, there is absolutely no data saying it's an issue." Let's just say I treasured them when I had them!

megan, I find that only beer makes me snacky. Why, I dunno. I haven't run into conflict with the calories yet, but I know you exercise wayyy harder than I do. Maybe being a slug lets me be more liberal with how I compose my calories? That would make an interesting study!

midwife - Good to see you again!

Shannon...

Someone has to be the adult, I guess, and it looks like it's you. This is your opportunity to rise above and set an adult example. It sucks... but ya gotta do it.

Jay

Shannon to you. DSS's mom is confusing the heck out of him and you're taking most of the fallout.

Jessica on the testing. Hope it turns out to be favourable for you both.

Re drinking and weight - I have alcoholism in my family on both sides. I went through a period of heavy weekend drinking in my late 20's and early 30's. Then I stopped drinking altogether for about 20 years.

I find now I enjoy having 2 beers or glasses of wine. Any more and I pay with disturbed sleep for 3-4 nights. Totally not worth it.

DH likes to drink moderately on the weekends. I join him one weekend in 4 so I don't feel totally deprived or jealous. I never drink during the week as it would put me right off my game the next day with the dogs and with driving around. I also don't ever drink at social events or in public. Diet cola is just fine to create the illusion that I'm imbibing and we are guaranteed to have a DD to get home safely.

Alcohol also makes me lose all inhibitions for eating. So I know to keep all snack food away on that weekend that I have my allotted 2 whatevers.

Dagmar

Shannon - we love you too! And I agree with Becky about your DSS. You tell us how you are in the firing line but rarely mention how your DH is handling the situation. How assertive is he able to be?

Jessica - good luck with it all.

A long day today. Some of you may remember my feral cat suit. An OK-ish suit to wear non-threateningly in formal situations. Bought from a charity shop run in aid of the Feral Cat Society. Well, it doesn't fit now. It was never a very good fit but it really does not fit now. I had to go to a (legal-type) hearing with a friend and had to put an alternative outfit together at the last minute. I think I have lost muscle in my lower half so I've splurged out a bit.

All I can do is carry on. And eat less food.