Mountain Mama: Welcome! You can post anytime. Glad you came out of lurking. The gift of support one another is a blessing. If this topic interests you, chime in. Thanks to OneonOne for starting this.

To lighten up in the body and in the home may interest others as well. Join in.

Thank you, Rachel!

Lexxiss: I like that you realized after work might not be the best time for you to do certain things.

I am realizing that I can have a Daily Plan list and then a lighter version of tasks that I can do when I am sitting and more relaxed. Such as making labels, sorting a drawer ect. I am continuing movement but on a smaller scale. Like I said earlier, there are lots of behaviors that can go toward a desired value. Just keep heading that direction is my hope. ( weight and house)

The other interesting thing that I journaled was mental experience of why I am not going to do what is needed to make movement toward a particular goal.
I came up with ...
I think someone else is going to do the task for me.
Sitting and watching TV/Internet/are just avoidance techniques.
Not making a daily plan and pretending that there are really no tasks at hand.
I don't have to do it and I don't want to do it.

These are simply my mental cognitions that cue up. Easy to see why they are NOT workable to make movement toward this new way of living and getting things in order.

My greatest reward is when I get a room all clean and decluttered it feels so nice to know exactly where my things are that I put away. Upkeep is so much easier although it doesn't go away and Hazel has yet to show up at my house to clean for me. Ugh!

Have a great night all!

Mountain Mamma, welcome! I hope you decide to join in once in awhile!

Rachel, we share many similar sabotaging thoughts regarding reasons to not keep moving ahead. Here are a few more of mine:
~I don't have time. XX,XX,XX is more important
~I work so hard I deserve to do nothing
~I have a big house now and since I've gotten rid of so much stuff there's space for everything else in my closets.

My truth: If I keep moving forward in small steps I will come to a point where I have time for everything, even doing nothing (or many of my numerous "enjoyable" projects. My enjoyable projects will be easier because I can find/easily access everything.

Today I take my mom to her monthly eye appt. It will be month 3 of taking a pile of magazines down with me for the large waiting room. Yesterday I did get one small box to the thrift store . credit. I also have a box in the making for the antique store.

This morning I woke up committed to further progress. I didn't know where I would start. I opened a med. closet in our TV room and VOILA! It is a combination of a large collection of vinyl albums which DH and I took time to sort alphabetically several years ago and make shelves to fit. On the left side is the "art collection". I had started several years ago buying a large portfolio and matching foam cores. I had taken everything out of cardboard rolls and laid them flat then clipped them with large clips to keep them flat. credit.
A closet half done.
Undone:
~4 prints still rolled
~many empty cardboard rolls
~unfiled albums
~numerous frames/glass pieces helter skelter
~another old computer hard drive, "I must need something that is stored on it".
~Kirk's dear Aunt D's beautiful octopus ink in an antique frame in a bag brought back from Alaska this Spring

It took two hours. The rolled prints are in the portfolio, the albums are filed, the frames are sorted/organized, cardboard sent to recycle AND
"THE PAINTING" is hanging in the living room where you see it when you walk in the front door. The hard drive is in my office where I will see if I can take out the hard drive (to destroy any information) and take the rest to recycle.
Two hours and a giant step forward.

Bonus: I now have a great spot to store the big ladder we need to change lightbulbs, etc. It has been a pain hauling it out of the basement everytime we needed it.

Must go sort mags and get ready for my day.

Lexxiss Wow, all done in 2 hours of time. I love your process of making decisions leading straight to action. Hanging and seeing "The Painting" is such a reward for taking care of what you already have. Progress not perfection!

I experienced a happy victory last night. I was working on a work project late and went to bed much later than my husband. I didn't want to wake him up and I found that I forgot that I had put my regular pj's in the laundry. In the dark I went straight to the drawer that held all my pj's . I realized that I knew what was in each drawer, find those items cleaned and organized. My closet has all new velvet hangers with like items put together. It was a nice thought to go to sleep on. Credit me or better said "Reward Me" for what already was done.

Busy work day today. Here is to toasting all who make steps toward goals/values. Yea!

Hugs to all who are stuck or taking steps away from progress. It is all part of change. We are always going away or toward something in our daily actions and decisions. The key is making the decision what do I want my life to be about or what does valued living look like for me. For Today is the goal/action, Value is the Over arching View. We can get stuck in old concepts that just are no longer workable to take us were we want to go. Nike Therapy helps when we "Just Do it"
and hold the feelings lightly that don't match up.

Powerpoint slide

I am a management consultant working in a counseling office. This is from one of the slides that I was working on last night. I thought I would include it as it speaks to the "What we want to be about".... in our daily decisions. Hope you enjoy....

Choosing the direction you want to go in your life is similar to being the director of the movie of your life, except you have limited control. You can only control the actor who’s playing your role in the movie. You can choose how that actor responds, behaves, talks and acts, but you can’t control any of the other actors or the events taking place in the movie. But you can have the actor playing your role behave exactly like the person you want to be—your own ideal version of yourself. How would you want this actor to relate to others and behave in relationships? What this boils down to is what you want to stand for. This is where you’ll find your deepest, most meaningful values. As you start thinking about your values, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. The first is that values are personal and must be authentic. Think about what really matters to you, not what you think “should” matter, and not what you think other people believe you should value. Values are a direction you want to travel in, where as goals are specific steps along the way. A value reflects how you want to be. A goal, or intention is a specific action you can take in the service of that value.

Hello!

I've gotta say, regarding FL, she sends too much email cr*p. It seems it's entirely helpful, BUT I am reading most right now BECAUSE I am learning alot from her. AND I will admit, she keeps me thinking about keeping going. I did most of her suggested projects this week, and yes, they are small and doable, and yes, I do see accumulated progress in JUST the things she asks. I think the most helpful are:
~Importance of daily routines, both morning and evening
~having daily help with "direction" for keeping steps small and doable
~her mantra that "You are not behind. I don't want you to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are."

Rachel, thanks for the powerpoint slide. It's helping me to really think/learn about the difference between values and goals AND their relationship. I am thinking that for many years my goal was to get the house cleaned up/out but I did not have my personal value attached (maybe not the right word) to my goal. I am seeing a shift in my life regarding the two.

Things I am noticing :
~I am less agitated when working on less than enjoyable projects, like taking apart the computer tower yesterday. Once I finally got it open to take out the hard drive it was FILTHY inside...pet hair and dust...necessitating I clean afterwards. I just did it and it's sitting outside on the porch waiting for recycle to open.
~I am getting less "clingy" about things. The computer tower has been in the closet for 8 years...the laptop for 6. I just couldn't get rid of them because there might be something on them I needed. I noticed absolutely no stress in ripping out the hard drives. If I didn't need it for 6-8 years I don't need it now.
~I am dragging less stuff home. I went to Costco and Whole Foods yesterday and only purchased 4 or 5 items. I seem to have what I needed at home already and didn't feel like dragging home extras. I stopped at a large thrift store and came out with ONLY what I went in for-6 cool napkins and 4 sets of matching silverware for my Whole Foods lunch kit. I'm tired of throwing out the plastic forks because I VALUE using sustainable stuff.

Today is my "Sunday". I go back to work tomorrow. I'm going to act like it's Sunday and not start any new projects, but rather clean up/pick up from the projects I took on during my days off. I did wake up feeling like I needed to do one procrastination project-the yummy kale chips are in the dehydrator.

Gotta say...this is tough to keep moving forward. It is so much easier for me to just look the other way. I think I will go open the door to my cleaned out closet this morning and remind myself how great it feels. I, too, am having those moments where I know where things are (like pajamas). It feels good.

Lexxiss:

I am becoming aware of the difference between values and goals. What I observe with you and your weight loss, You successfully changed your lifestyle. A change in the Value of Yourself changed your daily routines.---daily committed action. My house is not as important as my Physical House, so I try to value it over keeping my house in order.
I don't know if I have shared this, but I take a diamond with me in my teaching and show that our values are like a diamond and when the light hits certain parts of the diamond it can shift our focus.

For example:

My "Sunday" actions are certainly different from my weekday actions. But the value stays the same.

I appreciate once again you giving voice to your process. We lean into the pain of .......changing something that just isn't workable for us anymore. New perspective=new action.

I love thrift stores. My Mother was a in a family of 8 and her Mother died in childbirth with her youngest sister. Growing up poor with just her father, she learned to make things "do". I will always have fond memories of going to goodwill. That is fun for me. I think it is the adventure of finding a treasure that someone else didn't want anymore to put in action at my home. I like you, am much more intentional when I go in. I am not needing to add to the unusable stuff at home. I still go for the adventure and desire to see what treasures are there.


Those Kale chips sound yummy. Have a great Sunday

Rachel, thought I'd share this...it came from a site where (I think) there are moderators helping people with English as a second language. I've been trying to focus on using the word "home" more as I find I tend to use the word house quite often. For me, using the word home is "Owning My Space".

From the site, EnglishForums.com

"Dear teachers,
Could you possibly help me distinguish between the use of HOME and HOUSE?

Thank you in advance

REPLY:
A house is always the physical building where you live. Home is more abstract, and sentimental, but it can be a physical place too.
"Home is where the heart is.", "Home sweet Home"
Your family treats me so nicely that I feel at home in your house.

The grammatical constructs are different, since "home" is sometimes an adverb, and house is always a noun.
I went to my house
I went home."

Thanks for sharing your story about your family/growing up. My mom grew up without "stuff", which (I think) is the main reason why she has a difficult time letting go of physical items, even when she doesn't use them.
Recycle/reuse is one of my strongest values. However, "when" we didn't have any disposable income DH and I would go to thrift stores together and brought home so much cheap/cool stuff, which we mostly never used. It's what I'm hauling away now.

Several years ago I made these reusable flatware kits for my sis for Christmas. I picked beautiful fabric and sewed little pockets inside for the individual pieces, even including chopsticks. Sadly, they were complicated (for me) and I never made any for myself.
Yesterday, I decided I would do it but "easier". I found these napkins that I love and got 4 sets of matching knife/fork/spoon. I "had" matching rubber bands from my purchases at WF and VOILA! I now have my sets and like them as well as the ones I made.

Thanks, onebyone, for sharing with me that you have to resize your pictures in order to post them. Although I did not have the mental "space" to figure it out at the time I remembered....and now I have figured it out!

I have to share with you all....you may remember the saga of the camera that I wanted to return...couldn't find the receipt...finally found receipt and was 6 days past the return date.
I was so agitated and had to let the agitated go. It was my disorganization that contributed. I accepted the responsibility.
Well, the camera sat and I became neutral in my feelings, especially about the money wasted because I knew I would never use it.
Then, we were having lunch with Kirk's DD and new baby one day and she needed a camera. She was fine with the fact that it didn't have a rechargable battery included because she needed to buy a battery recharger for other items she used with the newborn (some swing). I bought her a battery charger and the batteries AND went to Costco and had her assistance in picking out a better camera for me. I was HAPPY to repurpose.

I love the new camera...easy to use, smaller and can even be recharged by plugging it into my computer. AND I know how to post pictures now.

Last Sunday she informed us that the camera got stolen out of her car because she left it unlocked. Oh, well.
I saw the receipt for it yesterday and put it in recycle without emotion.
It is done. I saw the cycle through.
I decided I would not buy her a new one...it was her responsibility and she needs to learn, too. (She did get another camera from her sister..not quite as nice but takes pics just fine)

OH, AND, I had this old digital camera purchased 6-7 years ago that was also a source of agitation for me because the screen was too small and I couldn't see what I was taking a picture of. Well, I wanted to donate it BUT felt I needed the manual, which was at the other house. I made a note and found it last time I was over. Yesterday I delivered the camera, the charger and the manual to the thrift store. Another chapter of the book...finished.

Lexxiss

THANK YOU for your post about house and home. It brings it home to me! It is a joyful part of my day to hear your insights and your life story. Judith Beck would love that we identify our "childhood" stories and where did some of the automated thoughts patterns come from. I have a really cool sheet that she put together, I will post it next week.

Off to the Compassion Institute today to discuss compassion and suffering. Should be interesting. I am surrounded by several nuns who are in their 70's... authentic and I garner much wisdom from helping those who marginalized.

The process is working !!!!! the process is working!!!!Yea for "lean into the pain" and "this too will pass".

I posted that my project for September was to clean up the balcony off of my study. And then, I didn't. Until yesterday when I cleared a stack (CREDIT). Mostly it was books and mostly I kept them -- I suspect these are books that have been through the process several times and I already got rid of the ones that I didn't want.

I was pleased that the books fit easily into my newly organized book case. I sometimes think that my "problem" is too many interests. But these books that have been boxed up for years fit neatly into the same themes as the books I recently organized. I don't have too many interests and I get back to them every few years. Credit for reframing my "problem" to an appreciation of who I am and what my interests are.

Finding some of the books was like greeting old friends.

I did get rid of some handwritten notes. It's so hard to let go of my own writing sometimes, even when I know I'll never use it. But if I wanted it that badly, I could type it into the computer instead of having paper laying about. It wasn't worth that effort so it also wasn't worth keeping -- into recycling it went (CREDIT).

Now that I had that success, I'd like to move forward with another stack. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be and was much more satisfying.

Hello!

gardenerjoy, thanks for posting your progress. It's just amazing to me that starting continues to be the most difficult part. What a nice reward that the books you went through fit into your revamped bookcase and that you were able to "let go" of some handwritten notes, too.

Rachel, I hope your weekend went well at the compassion institute. I look forward to your posting the "really cool sheet" from dr. Beck.

Yesterday morning I had this email from my brother:
Hi Deb,
I'm conscious of not having be out to see you and Mom for awhile.
The week after next would be good for me. Something like arriving on the 26 and returning on Sunday the 30th or Monday October 1st.

By yesterday afternoon a text from my sister:
Thinking about squeezing in a visit between my commitments....how does Tuesday look for you?

So I now have two weeks of family starting this Tuesday. I am so grateful that I continue to take baby steps, even when i don't really feel like it.
So today I departed from my new FL habit about taking it easy on the weekend. I sat down with a pen and paper and a great idea just popped out. I wrote the rooms that needed decluttering and then set a time that each would be finished. It worked! I didn't focus on any cleaning, yet fortunately since i've been following FL for over a month all my rooms have had recent attention.
I finished by my set time and invited mom to lunch at Whole Foods, a half hour drive...knowing that would make me stop and not get obsessive.
This is new for me; in the past when my bro/sis were coming I would spend all my time cleaning at my moms then would be rushing around at (literally) the last minute taking care of my home. I think I'm letting go of her "collection". I decided to take care of my own space today. When I went carried in her groceries this afternoon i didn't even look. We three kids have picked up and organized her stuff over and over again. Today, I chose my space.
Tomorrow starts work again.

ETA-pics...we have an old footstool which I drug over from moms. It had an ages old needlepoint cover with holes and lots of dust and cat hair. I gave myself permission to recover it and let it be less than perfect. I just went really slow and talked my way through it but it turned out pretty good. (an improvement for sure). It was the item that stood out in the living room as "uncared for". Now it fits right in. credit. The icing on the cake was tossing the old cover out...sometimes I still "think" I can find another use. Today I chose not to.

Good Afternoon Ladies:

Gardenerjoy: Nice those books could go with like items in your newly organized book shelf.

Lexxiss: I sent you a personal email since I can't attach Judith's sheet to this email. I combine it with emotional acceptance and it helps in accepting "what is" to move thru the decision making process. Love your repurposed footstool. Movements like that jazz me.

Went to see my son run in Lincoln over the weekend. It was a glorious day and fun to see him live the dream of being the captain of the cross country team. Detoured to our cabin on our way home and spent the night. Nature certainly reduces stress.

I am going to be maintaining for a few day as my work schedule is ramped up.
I am cleaning and organizing files on my computer so that does count. Purging downloads that are just taking space up and labeling folders. Feels good to know what is on it and where their home should be in the proper files.

Take care!