Remember my 3 year old neice that I wanted to take home with me at Thanksgiving because my half sister had her living in a hotel room? Well, I have been on the verge of tears for her all morning. My older sister called and said Elaina (half sister) and Lexi (neice) showed up at her door at 4AM a couple days ago and said they had been living in a small hotel room with her boyfriend and his mom, and the boyfriend was keeping Lexi there while she worked. This hotel is occupied mostly by prostitutes who walked the halls naked, drug dealers, guns, etc. Well, this day she came home to Lexi screaming and saying the boyfriend hit her in the head. He said yes, she wouldn't stop crying so he punched her in the back of the head and then said he would beat Elaina too if she didn't shut the child up. The mother was wastd on cocaine and laughing on the bed about it. So, Elaina went to my sisters hysterical.

She totally trashed my sisters house, had Lexi running around naked, and finally my sister told her she had to find somewhere to go, they don't have room for her because my dad is already staying there and Elaina is very disrespectful and dirty. She did offer to keep Lexi and even raise her until Elaina gets it together, but of course Elaina refused. Right now they are supposedly staying with a friend of hers for a couple days helping prepare for her wedding, but when she comes back they will have nowhere to go and I am afraid she'll go running back to that hotel room.

My mom is going to be keeping me informed and if she goes back to that guy, if my sister doesn't call children's services I will call from here. I feel so sad and worried and there is nothing I can do for Lexi. Guess I know kind of how you feel worrying about Kate and her kids, only I wish I had Lexi here with me. She has been living one place to another her entire life, no stability, no real care, and someone just needs to call on her. My sister will take Lexi, so it's not like she'll go into foster care. I am so sad guys I don't even want to eat.

Theresa

Forgot to say, my older sister has lupus and since all this and some problems at her work, her face rash has flared up again and she's feeling bad. I am afraid all this stress is going to do serious harm to her. I feel guilty because I am here in NC, living a peaceful, nice life and she is there picking up the pieces of our dysfunctional family. I feel I should be helping, it shouldn't all fall on her shoulders, but there is nothing I can do from here. Guilty, guilty.

I would definately call children's services asap! How old is Lexi? She needs to be out of there before too much more damage is done and even now it will take some time to get her feeling stable and secure. It breaks my heart. I just wonder what these girls are thinking when they have kids. Kate is supposed to be released today and I am still waiting for Michelle to call me back. It is funny because when the state wants you to do something for them, you get them immediately on the phone ect but as soon as you have done what they needed you to do, it is impossible to reach anyone.
Melissa

Theresa i woudln't wait to call child services- it sounds as if there are issues and even if she goes back to that guy for 2 minutes he could cause some serious damage to that baby girl. I have always said it's better to make a mistake in favor of the child. I can't imagine a baby girl being mistreated but stupid adults do it all the time. and who knows where your 1/2 sister could end up. I'd either call or get someone back home to call.
Don't feel guilty about being so far away- you can't control what other people do or how they act. It's sad adults let their lives fall apart and hurt their kids in the process.

It's like with my nephew- he's an unwanted kid and he knows it- his mom would rather smoke crack and his dad has a new wife who doesn't want him and the dad is (my BIL) is a loser stupid head anyway. I feel so miserable tht that this kid is related to me even tho it's by marrige, and i can't help him at all - his grandparents on his mom's side are loaded and the kid didn't even have a jacket to wear to NC -and his sneakers were falling apart and his grandmother sits there with her diamond's flashing and whines about her new 50 thousand dollar car.
(i wanted to smack her - i really did) His dad is bringing him back this weekend and he's going to live with his step dad who is seperated from His mom - i am slipping the kid my phone number in case he ends up on the streets. I know when my inlaws tried to help him before his mom called the cops. And she told my hubby she'd have him arrested for kidnapping- but I won't let him live on the streets. she wants a fight I'll give her one

Melissa- I hate dealing with the state - you have to jump thru so many hoops and it's crazy-with me I'd be calling every 1/2 hour and as it got later I'd call every 15 minutes. But I am annoying like that- When my mom had to have surgery 3 years ago- in other words the doctors said she had maybe 5 hours to live if she didn't have the surgery and they kept denying her paperwork because of a wrong date the hospital put down and i started calling medicaid case workers and then went right thru the phone book with congressmen and state senators and then called the govenors office and told them i was calling the tv and newspapers if she didn't get that surgery- it ahd been approved but when the hospital called the case worker was at lunch and too busy to call back . But within 2 hours she had the surgery. Even tho my mother and i are estranged and haven't spoken in almost 2 years there's no reason a person has to die becaue they have no insurance and need surgery. there are times I get so ticked off!

Will be keeping everyone in my prayers.
Sandi

Theresa-definately call protective services. You will feel terrible if the little girl is hurt.
Melissa- I hope Michelle gets off her butt soon.
None of us is talking about food today because kids lives are at stake here. Our stupid ice creams and cookies and chips mean nothing.
I spent the night at my yougest son's house. He is adjusting to a med to help control his tremendous mood swings and it affected his belly real bad. Terrible pains, so he stopped the med. I am so anxious that he get on something and I am hoping he follows thru today and calls the shrink to get something else. He is too old for me to take him by the hand which is what I want to do. I came home all itchy and smelly because apparently the blanket I picked up when I slept on the couch belongs to the 150 lb great dane. It was a little stinky, but I was so tired I didn't care. But I came home smelly and hairy.Yuck.
We are celebrating a friend's birthday tonight at a Chinese restaurant. I've been there before and stayed pretty well OP. I've had less than 500 calories today so I should be fine. (ah oh, I mentioned food)
It's very gloomy here. Warm and raining. It's melting off last week's snow so it's muddy and depressing. I need a beach and sun and water and a few thousand dollars to pay for it.
Laura

I want to call protective sevices so bad it's killing me. I would have called first thing this morning when I heard about all this, but right now we don't know where she is. I am a bit ticked at my sister, because she had them there in her home for two days and didn't call. They were homeless, on the run from a loser who punched this 3 year old in the head, and no one called. My dad really wanted to call, but he didn't because he doesn't want Lexi to be taken away. I think she NEEDS to be taken away...obviously. They are homeless, she's been abused, god knows what else happened to her in that hotel room, and someone needs to do something for her. Right now I am waiting, soon as she is back from her friends wedding we will know where she is to call on her. I don't see calling and saying oh, but we have no idea where hse is.

I'm going to call my big sister tonight soon as she should be home from work and see if she has heard anything from Elaina. They have it all worked out and are ready to take Lexi in. My dad has agreed, since he is living with my sister now free of charge, to babysit as needed and to pay for her daycare, she'll go to daycare with my sister's boys. My sister will take on all other expenses and make space for her to have a little room and bed somewhere.

What gets me is that Elaina was laughing and joking like all this was funny, esp. the prostitute walking around the hotel hallway naked, she thought Lexi was clueless because they kept her in the hotel room 24/7. This child was being locked in this little hotel room, with roaches, with a strange man and a woman on drugs, and she spent every moment of her time in there, not getting out to run or play. I have cried so much today my eyes are puffy. If Elaina would allow me to take Lexi, I would drive up there right this second and get her. Seriously, I would raise her like my own and get lots of advice from Melissa, but she won't allow it. Soon as I know where she is I'm calling, that's that. I told my sister that and she wasn't thrilled, thinks we should give Elaina time. I don't agree with that at all. I feel like I'm the only one who sees the urgency in this, how much danger this little girl is in. It's not just some child, it's my neice and I can't take the pain of this.

Food wise, doing good, not much exercise, but maybe crying and worrying burns calories??

Theresa

Call, call, call. If services steps in, it won't matter what the mother wants, the state will do what is in the best interest of that poor baby. If the mother is serious about doing what is right by her child, then she will get her act cleaned up. Push for dependency-it takes 12-18 months to complete and during that time Lexi can be with either you or your sister and getting the care and love she needs and also if mother isn't going to comply, there can be permanent placement. My prayers are with you-I know just how hard all this is.
Melissa

Melissa is right. Children have a different sense of time than adults. It's slower and next week or 4 weeks is very far away for them and so much more can happen. Besides she might be in danger. Her mother obviously is smashed and not caring. As long as a family member wants her, she won't be swallowed up by the system.
There's Jewish belief that if you save one person, it's the same as saving the world. And this might be your time Theresa
Laura

I agree with that belief and this may just be your time to save another human being who would otherwise be lost forever. She is still young enough that all this bad experience can be wiped away and she can grow up being a self-confident woman and end the destructive cycle her mother has begun.
melissa

Well, I am more confused than ever now. I talked to my BIL, sister's hubby, and he gave me a totally different story than what my sister said he said Elaina and Lexi were living in her car, outside the boyfriend's mother's house, because he was allowed to sleep inside but the mother wouldn't allow her and Lexi inside, so they were staying in the car outside. He said the guy didn't punch her, but slapped her upside the head, which is still abuse in my opinion. I don't know if Elaina is changing her story or if there's some mis-communication going on here, but i have to get ahold of my sister tomorrow and straighten it out.

What I do know, is that Elaina is now in toledo, ohio with her sister, who is getting married this weekend. Her mother is coming from Colorado for the wedding and Elaina could possibly go back to Colorado with her. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, since I do not know her mother at all...my dad had an affair with her mother, then when she got pregnant with Elaina he ditched my mother and us (3 kids) and ran off with her, so I didn't even know Elaina until she was older and I don't know the mother at all.

They don't want to call on her now, since she left the guy. But that doesn't solve the problem. She is still homeless and not making good decisions for Lexi. I think I will call tomorrow, even if just to ask what they do in situations like this when you don't know exactly where they are but someone is in trouble.

I ate too much tonight, just flipping out over this. Sandi, you are great to give that boy your number...just make sure he knows it's there and that he can always call you. I would have said something to that woman, I am not good with biting my tongue sometimes.

Laura, I hope your sons belly feels better soon. You're a great mama to go care for him.

Melissa, did Michelle ever call you back??? Does Kate have somewhere to stay when she gets out, or is she going to be homeless?

Theresa

Kate called maryann tonight and she is NOT getting out of jail. She has two felony counts. I am not sure when she will go back to court again but she did tell maryann to tell me she is sorry and that she is glad the kids are with me and there is nowhere else she would rather they be. Michelle never did call me back. I will just let it go for now since Kate isn't getting out. I will need to know if she is convicted what happens next with Logan and also what will happen to the new baby if she is in Purdy. Man everyone is just so crazy about how they "take care" of their kids these days. I wish I could just take them all and love them like they deserved to be loved. It just breaks the heart.
melissa

I haven't had much time so I've just skimmed through posts this morning. So much turmoil going on for so many right now it seems. So sad. I don't really have anything to add just wanted to let you all know you and your families are in my thoughts and prayers.

Well getting on the scale was very scary! I finally realized too that this whole thing with Katy was just eating me up literally. After getting off the phone with maryann, I hit the fridge and didn't stop until I went to bed. I feel so bloated and fat and icky! I got up this morning and made my menu and after talking to Mom, I feel like I can get this whole thing back on track again. I am NOT going to quit. If I do wind up with another baby sometime next year, I especially need to be at my right weight. I will need to be at the top of my game needless to say. So I got my confession out and that is off my chest too.

Theresa-have you heard anything new?

Melissa

Melissa, sorry Kate is not getting out, but I still think this is a good lesson for. The longer she has to stay the more she will not want to go back...hopefully.

I have not heard anything else about Elaina, and everyone suspects she's going to Colorado with her mother after the wedding (Sat.) and we might never hear from her again. I am not sure how I feel about this because I don't know this mother and her other sister at all. If they can take her in and get her straight that would be wonderful.

My older sister called me today and I found out the reason she didn't let Elaina stay at her home is because the friends she's been hanging out with are drug dealers who carry guns, and she doesn't want her family, esp. her two little boys, in any possible danger. These friends were calling her house threatening Elaina and she didn't want to be involved. Since Elaina left there has been no calls, so obviously she is in touch somehow for them to know she left. How they got the # in the first place points to Elaina contacting them, probably called them. She did call children's services and a caseworker has started a file but said for someone to call her back whenever we learn where Elaina might be. Unless they know where to go, they cannot do anything. So, my sister is going to keep in touch with her and we'll see what happens. Elaina will hopefully call someone after the wedding when she has nowhere to go...unless she goes back to Colorado.

I have to get back on track. I feel disgusting and have barely done any exercise this entire month, and I just really need to get back to making myself feel better. It's taking a toll on my energy level and how I feel. i cannot let Elaina turn me upside down, that won't make her go straight or do right.

It's almost 2006...can ya believe it??What is everyone doing to ring it in? I will be home assuring scared kids that the New Years shooters are not going to hurt them.

Theresa

I finally talked to michelle. She is going to see kate on tuesday and see if she will do a 3rd party custody for Logan. If she lets things slide and wrecks dependency, she will never ever be able to have custody of any children she may have and she only gets 12 months for dependency and to get her stuff done and it has already been 2 months gone and nothing is done yet. Michelle said that if kate gets out and will stay away from david, she can get her placed immediately into a group home and she will be able to keep the new baby if she is pregnant. I still dont' know if she really is or not. David's family will have to be contacted for placement also and michelle did say I already had my hands full but I told her I didn't care and that the kids all need to stay together. Eventually Katy is going to be ok and they need to ALL be able to see her. I feel better knowing she has a place to be if she does wind up getting released. It looks like david made the 5oclock news here. I am going to tune in myself and I hope that my daughter isn't on the news.

I can't blame your sister at all-that is the main reason I didn't let Katy here either because of David. I have 4 kids well being to think about and hopefully your sister can find out where she is and Lexi can be rescued. Drugs and kids just don't mix whether they are inside or out. I will keep praying for her too. These poor poor babies!

I hear ya about the icky feeling too. I have been back on track today and already feel so much better! I actually got some chores done around here too and I think eventually the house will be back to its normal self. I was letting the situation with katy get me undone too-more than I realized it was. I think it was eating at me more than I ever knew it was and then when I got the call last night, it was like the straw for me. I can only do what I can do and then I have to let it go. Adult children are so much harder than small ones. It is very hard to see them make their mistakes and be helpless to change or fix them.

We will just be here for New Year's. This will be the year that I get to see the real me! I will make my goal and keep it and really enjoy being the small person I was created to be!
Melissa