Thanks, bargoo!

So Saturday morning I did an hour on the treadmill (and at the end of the day had managed to walk over 10,000 steps--first time since getting my Up band). However, I spent the rest of the day in serious pain. I have been using my treadmill time to read my Kindle and I think that hour of having my head bent down to read (the Kindle rests on the treadmill while I walk) caused some neck strain--although I didn't notice it at the time. Within a couple of hours I had a knot in my upper back that was simply excruciating. I really don't want to give up reading while on the treadmill because it makes that hour go by so much more quickly. I'm wondering if DD still has a music stand around somewhere that I can rig up to hold the Kindle higher.

Sunday I only did 30 minutes on the treadmill and my neck/upper back only bothered me slightly when we went to see Captain Phillips and by the time the movie was over the pain was gone.

Sheila! I think about you every college football season when I see the blue field.

Allison - we mounted a shelf over the treadmill for that reason. Could you add in the audible copy of the book for treadmill time?

Reading those articles now. Back with thoughts later.

I'll figure something out. I suppose I could do audible, but I'm afraid my mind would wander and I wouldn't get as much out of the book.

Speaking of audible, my DD listens to books from time to time when she's got a long drive. She gave high reviews to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Anne Hathaway (although she said a couple of her voices were pretty bad).

I read these links last night. One part that resonated with me is the idea that you can calorie restrict significantly, or you can exercise substantially, but to do both at once is no good. They said "pick your stress". An interesting idea! I certainly prefer the 'exercise substantially' option.

What do you think is the ultimate goal of this approach? Is it to "reset your metabolism" so that you can maintain the same weight as before, but at a higher net calorie level? Or is it to find the approach that allows you to live the way you want to live, and to simply maintain whatever weight that results from that approach?

On a weight-related topic: I went wedding dress shopping Saturday. Bridal salon: upscale, very fancy; each bride (all were in their 20s, and stick thin) standing in front of a giant semicircle of mirrors and surrounded by a gaggle of other women gushing over pretty much everything. Then there was me: late 30s, by myself, muscular and large-chested in a very NON-fashionable way. They sent me out into the salon to look at each dress in the mirrors, regardless of how hideous the dress looked. Because I was only interested in short, simple dresses (i.e. the unpopular dresses), they only had the model size in each to try on - the attendant said they didn't bother getting larger sample sizes for these dresses. So, I walked out over and over like a sausage stuffed into a size-4 casing, and the gaggles of women that were waiting for their own brides to emerge from dressing rooms had nothing else to do but stare at me. And comment. I saw their mouths moving as soon as I walked out. I've never felt more self-conscious or worse about myself. It didn't help that I'm at least 5 pounds over my red line right now.

On the plus side, my fiance cheered me up when I came home in angry tears. He took me to mexican food and told me he was marrying me BECAUSE I wasn't a princess who always dreamed of being covered in white tulle. He said screw the wedding industrial complex and especially the dieting-bride BS, just get a bright purple dress from Macy's and have fun. Which I may do. (I love purple) So, I think I will pick my stress (lots of exercise) and try for maintenance-level calories for a while, and see where that takes me. At least it is a plan, unlike what I've been doing lately which is just spiraling further from control.

Jay-- sorry you experienced that-- wow!

I love purple-- go for it!!

Oh, geez, JayZeeJay, your story is just horrible! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! And just an FYI, I bought a beautiful dress from Zappos. Really nice-no shipping and no return shipping if you don't like it and you can try it on in your own home! No bride mothers to gawk at you and no need to deal with corporate bridal shop mentality.

ETA~when my DD did her thing (eating more, exercising more) she was doing it to get her metabolism back on track. Resetting it as you said.

Jay, - Three cheers for a

"bright purple dress from Macy's",

The idea of a fun wedding rocks my boat.

JZJ - your fiance is a major keeper.

I agree, JayZeeJay: You are definitely marrying the right guy.

And yes, it's remarkable to me how much I still crave female approval, not male approval, maybe because it's so much harder to obtain. Rather, it's some kind of mythical ultimate stamp of validation, the female approval that I've internalized within myself, but cannot EVER seem to give myself -- which is some kind of composite of mean girl comments, those searing things my mother said at one time or another, and some commonly received feminine "wisdom."

I feel like I'm babbling. I'll stop. But your story is gonna haunt me tonight on the drive home from the office.

Also digging your fiancee, JayZee. Seriously.

Thanks Allinnell, I appreciate your link, and yes I see that she did a good job of "body recompositioning" her way to a leaner figure despite the high cals.

So, just when I think I know everything about weight loss and maintenance, I came across a whole new set of information/data/research studies that I truly had no idea about. That Gokaleo site and the EatMoreToWeighLess site were just the tip of the iceberg. I've since read a series of blog posts by a physician (starting here: http://gomaleo.wordpress.com/2013/07...c-derangement/) which have really gotten me thinking. The big message that is slowly sinking in (trust me, kicking and screaming all the way) is that I have never actually logged my calories accurately, and have only deluded myself into believing that I was not losing weight for months on end on 1200-1400 cal/day. Apparently, there is no such thing as a truly slow metabolism (that is, total daily calorie burn of 1200-1500 cal/day. Supposedly, even starving anorexics who are 85 pounds and have lanugo only slow their BMR by ~20% below normal. Apparently, what is ACTUALLY going on is that I log my calories accurately for 2-3 days at a stretch, and then simply mis-estimate portions and leave off extra food from my food log to the tune of 2000-3000 cal, to end up with a weekly average that is at my maintenance. And apparently, my maintenance calorie range is supposedly 1900-2100 cal/day.

I know. I'm finding that really, really hard to believe. But this guy ("Hiking MD" from the Go Maleo site) cites like a dozen reputable journal articles to back up his claim that I - and many other women who have a "disordered relationship with food" are incapable of being truthful with ourselves about our calorie intake. And the cure for this problem is to give yourself permission to eat a normal amount of food and eat until you are full, cutting back on calories only insofar as to get you just a little (like 300) calories below what this calculator says is maintenance for your height, weight and age.

Michele and Saef (and BrightAngel, if you are still reading this thread), since your recent experience with gaining weight while being very scrupulous about your eating mirrors my own, I'd love to get your take on what this guy is saying. Do you believe that you could be off on your calorie count by over 1000/day?

My maintenance calorie range under my current conditions, according to that calculator, is 2275 per day. I have found that if I eat over 1500 cals per day, I gain slowly. I didn't regain my weight by eating even 2000 calories per day, though. I doubt I could eat that much if I tried. I am not a binge eater.

I logged calories for years, and being that I'm a scientist by training, I was pretty scrupulous about it. I didn't eyeball--I weighed and measured. I haven't logged in a long time, but after all those years I still have a pretty good idea how much I eat in a day.

I don't have a disordered relationship with food.

I believe that no calculator based on averages is going to tell you what is happening in your body. You have to find out by experimenting.

The calorie level I'm at right now seems to be a maintenance level for me, but my weight is high. That may simply be my reality. It's where it's at right now.

For some reason, I don't think Hiking MD would believe me. I expect he'd say I was a secret binge eater or that I routinely lied in my food journal. But you know, I don't care what he would say....

Jay

Andrea-- yes and no... I track with WW points so my fruits and most veggies are "zero" points. Can I overeat fruits and veggies? Definitely. Could I be eating that much more than I think? No way. Could other women do that? Quite possibly. Some, but not all. When I worked at WW, I saw firsthand many women (and men too) that thought they were accurately staying within their daily points target but if they were unhappy with their results, they would suddenly remember some BLTs (bites, licks and tastes) or other forgotten foods. Sometimes even when I'm tracking, I forgot to track a latte or something else. So maybe I could be eating 200-300 calories more than I think but no more than that. Could that cause a slow weight gain. For sure. Food for thought.

Bookmarking those links for later digesting (pun intended!).

I was up 0.7 for last week (back into the 151's - grrr); I am having to adjust for what I would call increased hunger intensity. I didn't manage it very well last week. I could blame TOM, the soreness and lack of sleep. I've had each of these drive me to eat "inappropriately" and I can't remember the last time I had all of them in the air at one time. I know there is a place out there in the fairly near future where I won't feel like I've been dragged backwards through a keyhole for two days after each swim practice ... I just need to be patient. Last night, we did "bucket drills". This is swimming with hand paddles, snorkels, and dragging a bucket on a rope tied around the waist. Without great technique, it can feel like coming to a dead stop in the water at the same point in each stroke. Even with, it's a serious strength challenge. My entire back is tender today, about an inch under my skin. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Andrea~I'll read up later but to comment, yes, I'm very certain I underestimate my calories. I haven't logged my daily pistachios at all. Granted it's just eight nuts, but I don't log it. And I don't measure everything. I find it unnecessary to weigh or measure lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, etc. I don't weigh my meat but do choose small sizes for my portions. I know I'm correct on calories when I eat my breakfasts and lunches because those I've weighed and measured those or they come pre-packaged, single serving sizes (yogurts, frozen meals for lunch). I know they are 100% precise, but I still log what they claim the calories are. And I'm sure I've snuck in a few things here and there that I have not logged, but thinking back, I cannot believe it would be more than 200 calories a day.