Wow, that's shocking! But I guess there's only so much they can do. Better than nothing, right? Yes, you will make it past this Tammy. And can I just say how much I love seeing you start to believe in yourself as much as we all do?! You really are getting through this, one day at a time, I knew you could do it!!

Beverly

this is 50%? Make sure they investigate his payroll in full to be sure he's not hiding $$.

Tammy, you've lost 40 lbs. in 6 weeks? You need to preserve your health & stamina, you must be losing muscle....and you might be setting yourself up for some future GI problems or acid reflux (which also affect your dental). Try to take some clear liquids, broth, crackers, etc. and get yourself some physical strength.

Ok, what happened is this. Our housing is now privatized. Before when the military still owned it you could stay until the divorce was final. This new housing if the service member does not live in the house then you are getting evicted. Plus, I have to pay half the rent. So, technically I am getting half of his pay check but it is going towards rent that I now have to pay because he is not living there. So, I basically get nothing.

But, there is an alternitive I can do this also through the court and if I get a better favoring from the court they military will uphold it. I have the paperwork to do that. I am doing everything I possibly can to get what is owed to me. It just burns my *** that he is going to take that other half of housing rent to shack up with his mistress!! I have no diapers right now. Very little food. It's looking pretty bleak. Yet, he's been putting him and her up in a hotel. All I can say is "what comes around goes around"

I know that losing 40 pounds in 6 weeks is not good at all. The minute food hits my tummy it comes right back up. I can do some broth slowly but that is not enough calories in the day at all cause I burn them off. This just has taken a tremendous toll on how I can eat. Even with anti-nausea drugs I can't keep food down. I know I've went from a 22 to a 16. I know it's just to fast. I just can't seem to get a grip on it.

Tammy, is there a food bank that you can go to or can you apply for welfare? There has got to be some social agency that will help you even if it is to give you some diapers and some mac and cheese!

Yep, a concerned citize made a report to CPS. So today she stopped by, the report was on Seth. She is going to help me with welfare (hard to say that word) Anyways she was glad to hear there was a restraining order against Seth. Monday she is coming back to give me the help I need to get help. I can get help with food and daycare. As for diapers I think one of the groups that helps out military folks will help with diapers. Although it is only one package that is good. I will take anything I can get right now. I sure blows that Seth's penis talking was more important than his own daughter having diapers. I guess his girl is not going anywhere so I am praying that on the 20th I can keep my restraining order. I don't know her and I don't want her around my daughter and furthermore Seth's temper does not give him any rights to see his daughter. I won't let him emotionally abuse her like he did me. He had already started to about a month back treating Kara in ways that were not acceptable.

I am have my moments of tears still but I am doing better. Having him out of the home gives me a bit of peace, but then again with his temper I always worry that he still might come and hurt us some how. I'm doing the best I can and will continue to do so.

OK Tammy have you tried this angle......CALL HIS PARENTS!!!

Tell them the truth...and that their GRANDDAUGHTER DOESN'T HAVE FOOD & DIAPERS BECAUSE HE IS SPENDING the $$ on his bimbo (and tell them he went to get her and tried to bring her into the house as your Nanny)....They might not support you or they will send a care package, but I bet the farm, they will get in touch with him and make him miserable and this in turn will affect his love-life ...He's probably been telling them lies all along....or call other members of his family.

this is lower end tactic, but desperate times call for desperate measures!

Hi Tammy,

I really like the last suggestion regarding calling his parents and family. I don't see it as a "low end tactic" at all. You are simply being honest about what is going on. You have nothing to be ashamed about and silence can often instill shame. I think it would be important that you have no expectations regarding what they might do. Worst case scenario, they may blame you!!! You know the truth and any reaction you get is about who they are not you, your worth, your children etc. They might also be incredibly supportive. All you are doing is giving them information about what is going on with the people they love.

Good luck with whatever you do. You are doing a terrific job of taking care of yourself and your children. Keep at it and stay with trying to eat and getting plenty of fluids. Have you tried drinking calories like ginger ale and soda? Better than none at all and ginger is reputed to be very soothing to the stomach. I hope you wil keep trying things to drink and eat until you find something that works.

Denise

I think calling his parents is an excellent idea. At the least, they should be told that their son is not providing the basic needs for their grandchildren. Maybe they will step in and help where he has failed.

I completely agree...unless they are just like him.

xoxoxo
Linda

gosh, tammy, what a skuzz bucket he is. I really believe that eventually, you get what you give, and this will come full circle. Not that it's much of a consolation, but it's the truth. you are SO much better than that. You and the kids will be just fine once this mess settles down. Use your own judgement about contacting his family. I hope to g*d this jerk won't have any rights to your children. He may be a father but he sure as **** is no dad. I am so angry for you.

I did not have to call his parents, they called me this weekend. It was not pretty. He had not told his parents that he was in love with this girl. She was just a "friend" who needed some help. They believe him and not me. They can't believe their son could do something like that. And they think with this restraining order they are never going to see Kara again. I don't have any intentions of keeping Kara from her grandparents. It's Seth. He needs to do so much work before I would trust her with him. Anyways, that is what I told them. All I could do is tell what I know and the truth with his parents. His mom tried to make me feel guilty by saying Seth took us in when we got married and blah blah like I owe Seth something for that. I was like what the ****. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I really don't.

Today has been really bad for me and I have cried most of the day. I am just so overwhelmed with emotions. Worrying where the **** money is going to come from and so forth. CPS did say they could help me with daycare so I could work. This makes me cry because I can't stand the fact of my daughter having to go to daycare. I know I have to do what I have to do. It's just not easy. It's just been a really rotten day.

They're in denial now, but hopefully they'll see the truth. Sorry it's been so rough, Tammy. You're in my thoughts a lot and also in my prayers. You're strong and will do what you need to do; I pray the Lord will bring you encouragement and peace.

You might not believe it now, Tammy, but it won't always be such a struggle. You're coming to terms with everything and seeking the help you and your kids need. You've shown remarkable strength even though you feel so very weak at times.

Seth has shown his true colours to you and his command ~ his parents will see it eventually (especially when he shows up to visit with his "friend"). Don't worry about what he thinks or says, what his parents think or say or, for that matter, what anyone else thinks and says, you just look after yourself and your children. The people who truly care about you know the truth.

Tammy, his parents may never admit to you that their son is a worm....after all he's thier child.

But privately they may tear him a new one about his disgusting behavior and neglect of responsibility to his child. And time will bring everything to the surface...(oh what a tangled web we weave....). They can't be in so much denial that they believe everything sonny-boy tells them as gospel-truth.

You don't owe them any explanation about what steps you had to take to insure your survival and care for your kids. Maybe you just want to take a step back and let them digest this load of baloney, they may feel differently in 2-3 weeks after they see for themselves.

You've been through a terrible series of events that seems to multiply daily and your body is reacting to the stress. If you still have constant nausea, you might want to ask your doctor for a referral to a GI doc.

Oh and although it's a moot point, the reason I used the term *low-end tactic* was because some people prefer not to tell their parents/spouses parents anything about thier personal issues, they keep their marriage/relationships more private or they are not close to them.

Checking in, Tammy

How are you doing? I tend to get worried when you don't post for a day or two.


I hope everything is still slowly getting better.
xoxox
Linda