FRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK..... im so mad at my DH... we dress up.. go out to this rediculously over-priced restraunt..eat dinner and drive home..get into bed... and then the stupid arguing begins over who's going to do what to who in bed (sorry if this is too much info)... SERIOUSLY!!! who argues about that stuff!!! Its not freaking fair! He is the guy who has no issues getting it up... i on the other hand..you know..need help in the bedroom love life department and yet he is expecting me to do all the work!!! and im just like FRIG SAKES!! Why are you being so freaking lazy in bed these days, expecting me to just turn you on and then you do nothing for me!!! when im the one with the lower sex drive!!! I mean..dont get me wrong!! Normally are sex life is great and there arent any issues but he has gone from being my sweet DH to the jerky ex-boyfriend i once dated who i dumped because he was being super selfish all the time!! He's gone from selfless DH to typical male..mostly..(im sorry wayward..my apologies for man bashing, i dont mean it against all males..just a few screwed up ones i dated)
Point is! Im freaking mad!!! at his selfishness!!!!! i think it should be a two way thing in bed..not a 1 person thing..and i think he should be the helper since he has no issues getting turned on!
And why am i ranting and raving about my sex life over a weight loss forum to people i have never met before?????
Oh yah! thats right! im raving and ranting online because its the only place i can come and express my feelings and deal with them before i start eating my feelings...its my way of working on it! So sorry to be so graphic or rated R.. i just needed to let it out!! cause i dont want to de-rail myself and start binging out of anger and frustration and dissapointment!
Anywho..im sorry..im mad..and im screaming..but its not against any of you..ive never been good at expressing my feelings before and all of the sudden its like.im just starting to..and ive never really ranted and raved in such a way that i have actually yelled inwardly and expressed it outwardly online in such a way that it matched my insides..but man! it feels better to do that then eat! at least im not sabotaging myself..i just hope you can all look at me as if im sane by morning!
Love you all..hope you are all doing good tonight and staying on track!
will check in tommorow!
Hugs!



