Midwife: replying from bed where I've been, on and off, since 19:15 (22:15 now). Could. Not. Move.

In North West Wales, between the mountains and the sea. Are you visiting? Do. (We do have World Cup fever at present but that will abate.)

Okay. I went. I zumba-ed. I and feel appropriately noodle-y. A hot shower and a little food put me back on the "I'm glad I made the effort to work out" side of life.

Weather has been cloudy and humid the past few days. Not hot but still sticky. We've had some showers out of it, but we need a good day or more of steady rain, followed by a couple ones. Where do I place my order?

SB - I still have "back to Wales" on my travel list. Can you believe it was 5 years in April since DH and I were in the UK? Where does the time go??

You know, I have finally discovered my problem with maintenance. It's two-fold and the first part is that I become too comfortable/confident and start indulging more. The other part is that I just love EATING so much more than I love EXERCISING! I MUST reinstate my love of working out.

Oooh WaterRat, that conversation is ALL too familar. I've been known to have it with myself quite often. Seems to be happening more this summer. Glad you decided to go... sounds like a good workout!

midwife ~ wow, 60 miles a week! Right now I feel good if I hit 15mpw! She is a rock star. You will just have to make trips up here for runs. (Ok, might be a bit far...) I feel the same about about triathlons... ok with biking and running, but swimming makes me nervous. I don't think doggy paddling would get me very far in the swim portion!

Jessica - thanks for the encouragement. After more research, I think I am actually going to sign up for one in 3.5 weeks that is a 2k/15k/5k. DH had the bright idea to, ya know, ease into it and get a hang of things before attempting something bigger. Now, off to buy a bike!

Yah, yah, you are all right... I will go to the reunion and I will rock it! I even weigh 20 lbs less than I did my senior year. now, since I had the same conversation with myself that Pat had, I must go get in a 3 mile run to make up for skipping conditioning class this afternoon.

WARNING ... you are abou to enter ... a self-centered howling rant of frustration ....

You're still reading? I warned you.

Here goes:

The vertigo has abated only slightly since it came on a week ago last night. And I'm still nearly deaf in my left ear. I don't believe the antihistamines or even the antibiotics have done much to combat it. (Though the latter, Amoxy-something-or-other, have done interesting things to my bowels.) I believe it's departing at its own slow, drawn-out schedule, taking its time, despite all my attempts to kick it swiftly to the curb.

I have not gone for so long without exercising since I began my weight loss project way back in January 2007. On the morning my father died, I went to the gym. (Considerately, he waited till I got home & was about to shower before he started coughing & I ran down to his hospital bed set up in the living room wearing my bathrobe -- but let's not go there ....) I went to the gym or ran on Christmas Day & New Year's Day. I trudged through blizzards. I sweated through heat waves. I showed up the day after I was hit by a car. On hectic days, I got up at 4 AM to go to the gym. I was in the gym sometimes past 10 PM, if the day went on too long. I managed months -- months -- months at a time without missing a single day. Not one single day. So I am going through a squirming hellish guilt-ridden withdrawal like you would not believe. I feel -- helpless. A feeling I hate. I mean, angry, because I can't help myself by doing what I know would make me feel better or at least more in control.

And this morning, the scale just confirmed my suspicions. I am up seven pounds since this time last week. Seven. Whole. Freaking. Pounds.

When I joined Operation 5-10 pounds, I didn't know it would lead to me marching steadily in the WRONG direction.

Granted, some of this is due to TOM, which, along with the heat wave we're experiencing, has not helped my already questionable disposition. And a bit may be due to some Sabra hummus (love it, but it tastes salty) and canned tuna yesterday. My stomach looks puffy; it has lost some of its "lines." When I headed off to bed, I could see my ankles were puffy & the skin over them actually felt tight as a drumhead. This went down overnight, but some may be lingering.

But still. Seven pounds.

Over seven days.

And with me not eating that much differently. There was no ice cream going on here. Nothing with frosting. No wheaty carbs, other than a dry piece of whole wheat matzo at lunch.

Actually, that may be the problem. The eating that was okay when I managed nearly 2 hours of exercise a day now needs to be changed.

Okay, I'm done. I just had to get this off my chest this morning.

But I am fed up. And am Googling "exercising with vertigo" shortly. To see what there is I can do. I had been playing around with some 7lb dumbbells at home, but clearly, that was just what I called it: "play." I need to work around this somehow since it seems to be taking forever to work itself through my system. To treat this like, "This is now your life" because how much longer can I afford to set aside my life & wait for this to go away????!!!!!

[/rant]

saef

Thank you for posting the picture. You know it's one of my subjects at the moment. Very good to see you.

Yes, you warned us. Just as well! What can I say? For goodness sake, why can't this vertigo just go away? It's such a nuisance and so unwelcome. Have you spoken to your doctor again? And have you actually seen your doctor?

Amoxycillin does funny things to my insides too. Especially the 500mg one. We go back some time, the two of us. Are you on a five day course?

Op 5-10 is meant to be all about losing a few pounds. You're right in assuming that. But sometimes it turns into Oops 5-10. There are a few of us here who can testify to that. But it's only been a week since this pestilence struck, hasn't it? I know I said 'only' - not belittling here, bear with me - but I don't think that 7lbs has had time to stick to your ribs. It's still milling around, wondering where the bar and the ladies' powder room are. TOM, salt - yes.

How about thinking of this period as information collection? Yes, maybe that kind of eating was OK with 2 hrs/day exercise as well. This could be an opportunity to look at things from a different angle. Reframe it. What are the pros and cons of cutting back on exercise? Of changing what you eat?

saef - this is such a bind for you. I do feel for you. Please keep telling us how you're getting on.

Thanks for your kind words, Silverbirch.

I am in quite a determined mood today. For instance, I made my bed for the first time in seven days. (I'd had to keep going in my room & lying down, when I got tired out from reading or working. But now I am just going to sit in the wingchair on such occasions.) I am damned well going to walk into the village & get a package mailed at the P.O. & pick up more groceries, even if I have to stagger like a drunkard to do it. It's not as though this village has never seen a drunkard before.

And yes, I was playing around with a photograph taken at Christmas & decided to crop out a head & shoulders picture to change my avatar from the old black & white author photo. This is the whole picture, here. I'm sitting on my sofa, in my living room. It's Christmas, thus the red shirt, a present, which was too big [gift where someone estimated incorrectly how much weight I'd lost] & of course that's why I'm not smiling, because Christmas is really pretty irritating. (Maybe it's less irritating in Wales than in New York.)

saef - Love your avatar - after seeing just your eyes for so long, it's a treat to put a whole face behind ... your rant. I'm sorry you were picked by the fates for this adventure, and I sincerely wish I could offer some great advice. About all I have is a strong recommendation for Stonyfield Farms yogurt to combat the antibiotic effects - seems to have the most "happy bugs" in it. Maybe there might be some value in journaling? If nothing else, it would give you a record of how you overcame the anger, bitterness, frustration, and yes, the 7 pounds later on. I remember a thread here about weight that comes on suddenly - you have a few weeks before it settles in and makes a home on you. It does sound like water/bloat to me. I'm a bit of a nutcase, I admit; I dabble in conspiracy theories and lots of alternative health. If the conventional stuff provides no help, and you want to look into some other options, surf up on colloidal silver.

FatPants - Reunions are lots of fun. I was a wreck back in high school myself ... but it's neat to go find out who grew up and who didn't.

The duathlon discussion has me thinking - I need one with a swim/bike/swim layout. Here's an idea for a fun tri: how about instead of swim, kayak/bike/run? Cripes, kayaks are cheaper than some of the bikes I've seen!

Iris - it's scary how that barely-perceptible decline happens. I'm curious about how you'll reinstate the love for workouts; hope you'll post it.


WaterRat - it's been humid here, too. Been tempted to turn on the AC cuz it's so sticky at night ... I'm saving the electrical $ but paying the price in poor sleep. It's supposed to break today (crossing fingers). Here's how to shut up the voice: Get out a picture from the days you don't want to go back to, weight-wise. That little voice probably played a very big part in getting all of us there. It's the voice of the spoiled brat that doesn't care about health - it just wants what it wants, and functions on a completely hedonistic, reactive level. Like an amoeba. Be firm. Squash it like the bug it is.

We had a little earthquake yesterday. It was just a little roller. I was at my desk, and surprised at how fast I figured out what it was. Nifty experience - we had one very similar about 22 years ago. Hope I never have to experience the fear of being in a big one; I guess as long as I stay in MI I should be OK!

We didn't run Monday - got scuttled by a thunderstorm, but I did go back to the pool for the first time in a month last night. Don't know what my yardage was; just stayed in 45 minutes to make sure everything loosened up. Now I need to build on it and develop a desire/need/love of sweatiness. :P

Saef, sorry the vertigo is taking so long to clear up. I really, really, really don't think that you have gained 7lbs of actual fat in a week. It is probably almost entirely water weight, probably related to the vertigo and the medications they have you on. I still say take it easy -- if you exercise even though you're sick, chances are it will take even longer for you to get better. Thanks for posting the picture! You look great!

Becky, you need to find an Aquabike in your area! It's usually just swim/bike, not swim/bike/swim, but the event does exist. I've also seen some adventure races that include kayaking!

Iris, I am with you, I love eating way more than I love exercise.

Pat, good job going to your Zumba class!

My weight is creeping down -- I've been around 137.4 all week. How sad is it that even though the scale is finally cooperating, I'm afraid it's for the wrong reasons? I massively cut back on my strength training in order to fit in all my triathlon workouts, and I'm afraid I'm losing weight because I'm losing muscle mass. It's probably an unfounded fear, but still! After these triathlons I am getting back on the weight lifting bandwagon. It's not as much fun as the other sports, but it sure makes a difference in my body composition.

It is Christmas and its expectations and tensions which is contributing to my tiredness now. My friend told a caller that "Christmas is OK if you like that sort of thing." The speakerphone broadcast this to his wife, his in-laws and who knows who else. In another family this would have been laughed off. In this one the blancmange hit the fan. Divorce papers were issued a few days ago. There have been libellous accusations. There are two small children. Long distances are involved.

It could have happened anyway but Christmas did not help. Let's enjoy this midsummer solstice period.

saef - I have heard that medications can mess with your water retention/digestive system/all things that come out the other end so I highly doubt (as you I'm sure suspect) that 7 lbs is not actual fat gained... most likely water! But I think you may have discovered the key already... eating the same as you do while not exercising 2 hrs a day could certainly mess with the scale. I know I cannot eat the same calories on non-exercise days as I do on exercise days if I want the scale to be kind to me. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

Becky, funny - they actually have a "my-way tri/du" event here in August... you get to pick whatever format you want to do, so a swim/bike/swim format is totally possible. I would LOVE a kayak/bike/run tri... I'm trying to find a not-too-expensive bike that's still relatively new/decent and it's proving to be a pain.

Jessica - when is your triathlon? I lose weight much quicker when I'm doing solely cardio, too.

Fat Pants - How cool is Colorado??? A make-your-own athletic event??? What a fabulous idea to get those of us who would whine, "I'd do a tri but I hate to run" (me) off our butts and onto the streets/lakes? That's great! Talk about taking away all the excuses ...

I dread Xmas. Absolutely dread it. I fantasize about leaving the country for all of December. Oh, wait ... marketing now dictates that the "holiday season" must begin immediately after Halloween. So scratch November as well. Grrrrrr.

FP, I'm scheduled for one on July 17 and another on August 1. The July 17 one is a 500m swim, 10 mile bike, and 5k run, and the Aug 1 is a 500m swim, 12.5 mile bike, and 5k run. That's awesome that there is a choose-your-own triathlon!

Becky, you should do a triathlon anyway, you can always walk the run!

ICUwishing, thanks for the advice on yogurt. On my drunken stumble through the village, I loaded up on Fage 0%, which the grocery store had on sale this past week. So the one pleasurable thing from my illness is indulging myself in this stuff every morning. It has become to me what Hagen-Dasz used to be.

You know, I've been trying to become a swimmer, because I'm thinking ahead to older years & I wanted to be more adept at a lower-impact exercise. For that reason, I've been taking hour-long Sunday swimming lessons for a couple years now. But I continued to have trouble with endurance. Cardio on land, I can do for an hour or more, no problem. With swimming, I'm gasping after two lengths of the pool. Anyway, I was doing my version of laps (swim two lengths, rest at side of pool, gasp, then swim lengths again, gasp, repeat) in hotel pools during a week's vacation. And the doctor believes this is where I picked up my inner-ear infection: From a slightly murky hotel pool that stinted on chlorination.

Anyway, what this is leading to is, I really enjoy your swimming posts, I marvel over them, and I look up to you & think you're great.

Paperclippy, thanks on my avatar. I have been housebound, but am able to sit at computer for a while if I keep my head fairly level & don't move it a lot. So that led to my playing with MS Paint & photos for a while. My photoshopping expertise is sadly lacking but now I have learned a couple things. This may lead to one of those before/after goal postings eventually.

I am in awe of you triathletes. I can do the biking, but my swimming needs work & I really can't run. The Colorado competition sounds awesome, if I could do it on the arc trainer or elliptical.

FatPants, I am working at reducing my intake, since my insight about not being able to eat at the level I'm used to when I am working out. [And before I forget, I loved your goal post & your photos!] But last night, I had an inspiration. I may end up hobbling down to the gym (it's a block & a half away in the village) & using the recumbent bike. Now, not to knock the recumbent bike, but ours is usually the favorite perch of the senior citizens who exercise. I want to be like them, one day -- that's the kind of seventh decade I want to experience. I could probably use that bike. [If I can get one. The seniors really are always there & always on them. It would not be a pretty sight to see me trying to wrest a bike from a senior, now, would it?] The advantage is, I would not fall off the thing if I got dizzy. I should at least go down & try one. Swallow my humiliation -- I, who loved spin class -- and straddle a recumbent.

Silver, after I posted, I was suddenly haunted by a memory of Dylan Thomas' gorgeous dark-toned voice reading "A Child's Christmas in Wales" on a recording that I must have heard more than once during my childhood. So my remark about Christmas maybe sucking less in Wales than in the U.S. was not as facetious as it sounded. I am sorry for your friends' trouble. But I can relate to the sentiment. Perhaps I should date him after the divorce goes through? [JOKING.]