kittyKatFan - I really hear you on the calorie counting thing. I used to count calories and became obsessed with hitting the exact numbers and all the adding up in my head constantly, weighing and measuring food, just added stress to my life and started to really isolate me. Thats when i started only logging my food the day after so that i had a record but could not obsess with counting during the day. But i find i still get a little hung up on the number and subconciously will try to hit lower and lower. I'm debating now if I should stop logging my food altogether or maybe just log the foods in a notepad or somewhere that does not tally up the calories.

I am really trying to stop the diet mentality. Even though I always remain in a 10 pound weight range, I can't help but subconciously restrict. I tell myself i can have anything I want, but I don't really put that into practice. I think my body knows I am lying to myself and feels restricted and then binges.
I have an identical twin sister. Back in our early twenties, we both had disordered eating but hers was much worse. She was fully bulimic, and me, I tried to go the healthier route and did a lot of research and became obsessed with "clean eating" and eliminating starches, processed foods etc., but at the same time became quite a binger. I always preached so much to her about clean eating. Then, after many years of her bulimia, she said enough was enough and somehow pulled herself out of that almost completely. she had a couple slips, but never a full relapse, and now I would say her eating is normal. And she does not ever ever count calories, and she does not live by any eating rules. She is unaffected by the donuts at work and will have one and really enjoy it while I sit there preaching to her about all the sugar and processed chemicals in it and will not eat it feeling better than her. But then what happens next is that i will feel so stressed and won't be able to stop thinking about that donut, almost mad at her for having one. And then I will begin binging on the way home for work and she will have a healthy dinner. And the funny thing is, she is always thinner than me and it is effortless for her now, easilty maintaining 110lbs at 5'5". And she enjoys her life.
This is evidence to me that the diet mentality only keeps me in this vicious cycle. It's just so tough for me to let go of all the diet dogma. I just always want to be in control so bad, and fear that giving it up will cause me to gain weight and become obese. And yet I have the perfect study that shows how detrimental being so in control is. We are identical twins with the same genetics.
The last couple days have been rough for me. I have been trying not to "diet" but am unsure how to not diet. It is so foreign to me. I have binged, which normally heads me straight back into dieting. I am afraid not to diet. I am reading online how to not diet. And I have been talking alot with my twin for support. She has assured me the transition is not easy and recalls initially gaining weight as she let go of restricting, but that after some time the weight came off. She said she had decided to just accept being a higher weight and to love herself, and to her surprise and amazement the weight just came off naturally. I admire her and hope I can one day be like her.

veggiedaze - it's highly unlikely that you would ever become obese through unrestrained eating if your sister is not and she also eats normally.

You are MORE likely to become obese however, if you continue to diet. All you're teaching your body in the long run is how to store up extra fat for the next "famine" and slowing your metabolic rate. That will make you fat. Yes, if you stop dieting and eat normally and unrestricted, you may gain some weight, at first as will anyone coming off a diet. But if you keep at it (and it may take up to 18 months), your weight will even out at where you are supposed to be and you won't have to live off of a low calorie diet or any other wacky diet. And yes, 1500-1800 calories are low calorie diets and the body hates them.

Yes bingefree2013, I completely agree with you, and thank you for chiming in. It's what I need to hear. I have gone small periods of time where I did not feel like I was dieting and I did not gain any weight and in fact lost weight. And then I get sucked in again. Sometimes I think, well things are going so well, so maybe if I start adding some rules and restrictions maybe things will go even better. I just love controlling things. Also I notice that other people have a heavy influence on me. Sometimes at work I hear the other women talking about new exercise programs they start or new diet they are trying like paleo, atkins, or whatever, and it seems to trigger the need for me to also control. The funny thing is all the girls I work with are much heavier than I am and always comment on how thin I am and how they wish they had my metabolism and this stuff. And I just think to myself what a fraud I am.
I am **** bent right now on giving this no dieting thing a try again. It's tough to find online tips on how to not diet. There is no money to be made by advertising not dieting, and so most of the online advice revolves around learning how to diet. I am just taking it one step at a time now. I'm not exactly sure how to start this transition but I think the first step will be to not log my food. I will also not weigh or measure my food portions, and just eyeball, and I will not weigh myself. I will exercise only when I want to and for the benefit of my health and not for weight control. And I will begin bringing extra food with me to work in the event I get hungry and want to eat more than usual. I don't know how this will go. I hope I will not get scared and resort back to my old ways. I may even avoid this site for awhile because it can be a trigger for me to diet as many on here diet and count calories.
But please everyone, I want to be clear that I am not trying to bash diets or calorie counting or anything like that. I know it works well for some people. I only want to be free from my own obsession.

Missunshine- I binged pretty badly two days in a row last week, but I still can't believe it would have been enough to put me up 6 lbs. And today showed a 2lb decrease! So it definitely was water weight, plus general gained weight from the binges.

But today is day 8, and I have every intention on making it two weeks!
I'm having breakfast for dinner (as I love breakfast foods), and got in an hour of gym time, plus an hour and a half of walking with my dog. I'm all sweaty, and still happy about the 2 lbs gone! Even if it was just water weight, it's still encouraging!

Veggiedaze- keep us posted on how quitting your diet goes! I
Would really like to hear how it goes for you! It's something I have thought about but I have never been able to get myself to actually do it!

Painted ponies- good for you! And those losses really feel good, don't they!

I made it through my stressful day today! I felt that my interview went well and I got a callback to come to the second round of auditions tomorrow! So Hopefully the producers like me-- I would really like to book this job! I'll also find out if my interview really did go as well as I thought and if I got the coaching job tomorrow- so tomorrow is either going to be really great, or really suck. Haha but I'm happy to report another successful binge free day!

PaintedPonies - Sounds like you are on a good track. congrats of being in week 2 and it's great that some of your weight gain was just water.

Danzingurl - That's wonderful you got a callback and that your interview went well. If you get the job maybe some of your stress will be lifted and help with eating.

I'll keep everyone posted on how the non dieting goes. I suspect it will be rocky in the beginning but I would like to give it a good shot and not give up at it too quickly. We will see; I am thinking I will feel a giant void in my life without planning, tracking etc. I almost get a high off of thinking up my perfect plan, but it is exhausting too. If I stop binging but end up weighing significantly more, it is very likely I will go back to dieting as I don't like being heavier. I think I could handle it for awhile, but not permanantly. I will let you all know how it's going, but will wait a few weeks or maybe a month before making any comment. I also started a thread for tips from people who do not diet anymore and have found success with that. Any tips would be so helpful.

I had an absolutely AWFUL day yesterday! Went over my cals in the afternoon, but did not completely go all out on a binge. I was happy that I didn't completely stuff myself. Then I went out drinking with some friends (which added even more unnecessary calories to my day) and then binged again when I got home afterward. UGH! (( I hate this!

veggiedaze- I'm trying to do this without counting calories. I want to eat the same foods and same portion sizes that I eat now to be the same as what I will eat once I get to my goal weight. (Well, the foods will change with the seasons, of course). It's a change of lifestyle, not a diet for me

Smurphy- At least you managed to snuff out one binge. That's a success!


I just finished up eating 5 pizza breads, which is okay. I was hungry when started, and was a little hungry all the way through. They had no cheese, and had veggies instead, and were probably equal to 3 cheeseless pizza slices, so I'm not too worried. All this salt and bread will make me retain though, I'm sure.
I was at 175 this morning, so that's 3 lbs down!
Good luck with your friday nights everyone!
Day 9 over and out

Veggie daze- you are so brave to take on non-dieting. I really hope it goes well for you... I hope one day that I can have the strength that you are showing!

Painted ponies- 3 lbs is great! Good for you!

Smurphy- I hope you are feelin better!

I got another callback today which is great- it's down to about 20 of us- we will all be dancing some kind of role in the movie but they only need 8 "soloists" so I'm really really hoping that I get picked!! We'll see- at least I haven't been cut completely. I didn't get the coaching job which was sad, but I can't get too down about it- the person who got the job has 10 years of drill state championships under her belt... So she's obviously incredible... Oh well.

So it was a happy and sad day... I'm kind of hungry and have felt a lot of urges to binge today, but havet acted on them... Hopefully I can't stay strong through the night....

Good luck everyone! I hope your holiday weekends all go well!

I didn't work out today and probably ate more cals than burned, but it's my last day at home, and everything I ate was low volume food, though not necessarily low calorie. But that's good, as I need to get used to eating small amounts of food and being satisfied!
So, today is Day 10! This is a record!!!

I had a MAJOR victory today. All day all I could think about was how much I wanted a homemade peanut butter brownie. (Someone evil introduced me to a "mug" cake that takes 2:00 to make..) anyways- I have NEVER been able to eat just one and stop. It has turned in to a binge EVERY time. Or- I will try to fill up on healthy foods to stop the cravings, and then end up bingeing on "healthy" nuts or protein bars before I end up just making the stupid brownie anyways. So- tonight I got home, and had my mug cake- and stopped. I ate to maintinance, which I hadn't planned on earlier- but I'm not even upset because I'm really only trying to lose 5 lbs or so and eating maintinance is a WHOLE lot better than bingeing.

For the first time in I don't know HOW long, I indulged a little without going insane. I'm sure I'll be up a few lbs tomorrow, but I didn't binge. And you know what? That brownie tasted so much better when I wasn't worried about all the junk I had already eaten or anticipating the next junk food I could get my hands on. I feel like I had a little breakthrough today

Painted ponies- great work on the record!!

danzingurl, that's AWESOME! I had 2 Girl Scout cookies and stopped tonight - there are 7 boxes at my parents' house. Big win, if I were back in diet/restriction mode those would have felt like the last 2 cookies on earth!

Danzingurl - That's wonderful you didn't binge like and enjoyed the mug cake so much.

krampus - that's also great you had 2 cookies despite there being 7 boxes. Parents' houses can definitely test the limits.

SmurphyKU - try not to beat yourself up over not having a good day. You were doing okay until the drinking and staying up late. I find for myself alcohol can make it more likely to binge. I think because it inhibits me trying to resist the urge. If I didn't have urges, then alcohol would probably not be so problematic at times. Also, maybe you stayed up to late and were tired.

i'm baaack from my trip and i can proudly say that i've been binge free all march plus some of february. but in all that time i lost maybe 2-3 pounds and it's frustrating but i'm not giving up yet.
when i return to uni i'm enrolling into a gym and starting some serious working out. i can at least have some muscles under all this fat if i can't lose any.
so past few days food wise have been easy because we ate maybe once or twice a day. my friends family have weird eating habits but i was never hungry though. i did some partying after a long time and i'm not sorry for going. we met some cute guys but nothing really happened.
i also got some insight into how my friend keeps up her shape because we never talk about food and she often eats at mcdonalds and she's still skinny and managed to even lose weight. when i go to mcdonalds i get 2 pounds of water weight the next fay so i try to avoid it but i don't even like their food.
i'm so glad to read about your success.

veggiedaze- i really hope you can get into that mode because i'm trying it too and slowly i'm getting there. some of my habits have gotten so strong that i don't have to limit or ban any food for now.

paintedponies- that's great, now just stay in that mode. you rock with your exercise

danzigurl-it seems like thing are working out great for you. i'm glad and i really hope you get that role. i made that mug cake a few times but i didn't liked it, it tasted like sponge.

danzingurl and missunshine- CONGRATS! awesome jobs!!

Today was pretty great. I had a 7 hour train ride, and figured I would have a huge breakfast to keep me from getting hungry. So after 2 pcs of toast and a few spoonfulls of porridge, I was satisfied, and decided not to finish everything else! I stopped!
Lunch was snack foods- kettle corn, which I didn't finish the entire bag, chocolate, didn't finish the entire block, and a granola bar, only had one.
I haven't been hungry since, and think I'm done for the day. it feels pretty great
So, Day 11 is over!