Hello all,

I don't know whether you remember me or not, but I posted on this thread a bit this summer. Unfortunately I relapsed rather quickly and fell back into the diet mode. I flip flop back and forth so much, it's ridiculous. So here I am flipping or flopping again...not sure which! Hopefully you will let me 'back in'.

Barb-I 'think' I know you from another board (a ww based board). If you're who I think you might be, we've pm'd each other regarding IE.

Welcome Deb. I'm mom to 10 though they are all grown and I'm just now experiencing the empty nest.

Welcome Deb. Carol, I have trouble eating out or at other's houses, I either over or under eat. Prtty quiet day around here. My Dd got a guinea last night, bringing the total of quadropeds around here to seven, in addition, lab mix and five cats. I don't know how I got into this sometimes, LOL. Well they're all wonderful, and, it's never boring or lonely.

At one time we had 4 mother golden retriever moms and one male plus 25 puppies. After that my Dh sold 2 of the moms for $2500 both pregnant. I had never heard of that but the first woman that called bought them and we must have received 15 other calls about them. Now we are down to one mom. It was just too much to try to sell that many puppies at once. We also have quite a few cats and about 8 horses and Dh raises angus beef. Of course we live on a farm. All the kids are grown and I keep telling him he needs a hired man like he did when the kids were little. He keeps doing it all himself....a workoholic for sure.

Hello Intuitive Eaters

I'm "Blue" and I have lurked a little in this thread and was hoping you might be able to answer some questions for me.

First, a little about my weight-loss journey ... I've been seriously trying to lose weight for about 10 years (tho my dieting history goes back at least 25 years). But it was about 10 years ago I started packing on the pounds and started trying to take 'em back off. I have yo-yoed over those 10 years never really losing much but gaining quite nicely all the while. (I did have one short-lived success story but more about that in a minute.)

I've tried just about every kind of diet imagineable but nothing has stuck. The craziness of diets has completely warped my view of eating. You might say I'm a mess. I know diets don't work FOR ME (tho somehow the bulk of the population at 3FC seems to be having success at them). But in spite of knowing I cannot stick to a diet, I've found myself counting my calories once again in an attempt to lose this fat once and for all.

OK, so back to my short-lived success story. A year ago I followed a program similar to Intuitive Eating, some of you have probably heard of it, "The Lord's Table" (I followed the "belly growl" method). After my 60 days were up I had lost 17 pounds - THE most weight I have EVER lost at one attempt. Problem was I slipped back into old eating habits without any accountability and over a year later, here I am, having gained all the weight back and a few pounds more. *sigh*

I don't really know if it is answers I am seeking or a pep talk. I am trying to talk myself out of counting calories and getting back into this way of eating but I am scared to death I am going to blow all the hard work I have been doing since joining 3FC. (On a good day I'm down 6 pounds from my start weight.) I came to 3FC following a restrictive eating plan (cutting out certain types of food) and soon found that I was binging on similar foods when I would fall off of plan. So I switched to a looser version of my original plan by adding calorie counting thinking if I could eat some of my fav foods within a range of calories I'd be ok. Having had the freedom in the past to eat whatever I wanted and lose 17 pounds I cringed at the idea of counting my calories and reluctantly decided to do it.

Man, oh man, I know I sound like a whiney butt but I'm just really torn in two directions here. Do I stay on the path of counting every single piece of food I put in my face or go the route of freedom risking getting even fatter than I already am. I'm so scared to make a commitment to this. But I KNOW that it is the freedom I desperately desire. I don't like having to count and measure and weigh. It is not natural. (I wasn't born with a measuring cup in my hand!!!)

OK, I guess I do have questions ... Is anybody here having real success with this battle by following Intuitive Eating? I gather that this plan is in a book? I have Gwen Shamblin's "Weigh Down Diet" which, I guess, is basically the same thing? If this plan is in a book, do I need to buy it or is it basically the same as the programs I've followed, if anybody knows.

Well, I've probably written a book here but I really have been dwelling on this and am hoping that some of you good people can help me figure this thing out. (Or maybe I just needed a good vent.) Either way, sorry to ramble on so much!

I can't believe this but I've actually not recorded anything in my food journal today and have eaten breakfast based on my tummy's signals. It feels good not to track it but scary too. I just don't know if I can do this tho! Ugh. Help!

Blue Serenity, yes you can do this an it is similar to weigh down. I started at where you are and am now down to 165 after a couple years. I take prednisone so I think most people could lose at a better rate than I. I really think there is a feast or famine cycle going on in our lives if we've spent a lot of time dieting. I have 10 kids so have been fighting this weight thing for about 35 yr. The thing is there is a fine line between losing and our bodies thinking we're going into a famine. Using hunger and fullness as your guides is what IE is about. I don't think you necessarily have to eat half of what you used to eat as Gwen Shamblin says but you do need to pay attention and not eat for other reasons than hunger. You should be able to life a normal life and be at a normal weight. Oh, and we love long posts here.

I'm not going to be delicate about it, I'm having a horrible day. A lot of it's in my head. Just a lot going on, and I'm on a food rampage, simply because I'm having a hard time dealing with it...it's stuff I can't control and nothing _really_ all that bad, I just feel like crying, and am concentrating on my faults and percieved short comings

I feel like people are second guessing me and being super critical, I imagine my husband wanting another woman...
. I've been here for over a year and don't have any friends. I have the people I work with, but I mean people I can grab coffee with or something. My husband is up for a job that requires travel. (currently DH is unemployed), and I feel lonely in advance, even though it's a good job over all...

((sigh)).

I feel like I'm holding on the edge of a cliff, dangling, scraping at the stone with my fingers, trying to pull myself up.

A few days ago, I posted about a pair of pants that fit on occasion...well, now I'm none to happy about it... I feel like I'm falling into that diet abyss...like the Ring in Lord of the Rings.... diets mesmerise and tempt me.

I just feel awful and can't do a damn thing about it. I know that donuts and cookies aren't the answer, but it seems like nothing is. I'm sinking in a quicksand of apathy..

Yeah, it's a pity party, and it's probably just how I feel right now, but it _is_ how I feel and it is valid, and really, I don't know anyone else I can talk to about it, either...

Thanks for listening.

Well, if your ticker is up to date, you have lost almost 70lb. That is pretty amazing. Hope you feel better by now. Tomorrow is a new day.

Welcome, Blue Serenity...I had a couple of thoughts while reading your post.

I bought Weigh Down when it first came out, and tried it, but I just couldn't stand what I felt was artificial guilt being heaped upon me if I accidentally slipped up and ate an extra mouthful, or something like that. I have enough issues just from dieting and being overweight all these years--I didn't need any more bad feelings about eating. I promptly laid aside that book.

I've been at various stages of overweight, and off and on various diets, for a little over 30 years now myself, and lately I've really been rethinking my approach to the whole thing. Diets don't work for me either. They just make me obsessed, and give me extra issues.

Personally, I think that Intuitive Eating *can* sometimes--not for everyone--but for some of us--can end up being almost as bad as a "diet", simply because we get all focused on whether or not we're hungry, whether we're eating from true hunger or head hunger, whether we're stopping at the exact correct point in the meal, etc.

So even though IE is closest to being the way I ate when I was naturally thin, it still wasn't quite right. I had to go way back to when I was naturally thin and remember how I used to treat food and eating.

Back then, I didn't give eating much thought. If I was hungry, I ate. I didn't worry about counting Points, or calories, or fat, or carbs, or anything. I just ate. When I was full, I stopped eating. I didn't think about what my "hunger number" was, or anything like that. I simply stopped when I'd had enough.

There were no forbidden foods back then, and if I wanted to eat something "fun", I did, and never gained or had to deal with any issues because of it. I did not weigh or measure myself. I didn't record what I ate. I just never gave food much thought at all.

As you said, we weren't born "with a measuring cup in our hand". I think we've made entirely too big a deal out of diets, food rules, body size and shape, exercise, everything that goes along with it.

I'm working my way back towards the way I used to deal with food and eating and weight and exercise, and making all of it as much of a non-issue in my head as possible.

I figure, as long as I'm not being a glutton, I'm ok. Whatever happens with my weight, happens. Do I want to be smaller and in better physical condition than I am now? Yes! But I'm no longer willing to dwell on it, and drive myself crazy doing all these different things that only get me more focused on food, and on eating or not eating.

I'm trying to give food as little space in my mind as possible. If I want something, I eat it and then get on with life.

It's slow going, extremely slow going, but since I've decided to do this, I've been losing little tiny bits here and there, mere ounces a week probably. I am also working at breaking the scale habit. I'm actually skipping a day every so often where I don't weigh myself.

Sometimes I think we're afraid that if we're not paying close attention to what we're doing with food, that we'll gain a ton of weight, but I am finding, so far anyway, that that's not true. The less I think/worry/obsess over food and my weight, the better I do.

No, I won't lose a hundred pounds in a year. I might not lose it in two years. I might never lose a hundred pounds---but I'm going with the idea that ANY loss is an improvement, and it will just have to do.

I don't know if it's because I've turned 52 or not, but I'm just tired of the battle. I still enjoy reading about the success others have had with diets, but I'm not willing to go on another one myself. Life is too short to be so caught up in all of this stuff.

I don't know if any of this will help you or not, but I do believe that you can do IE and be fine. I think it's a great starting place for us to find our own way of doing things.

Thanks for the warm 'rewelcome' I appreciate it!

Optical Goddess-I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I know what it's like to not have friends in a new town. It's a very lonely feeling. I was a newlywed then so that was back in the day when ds still pd attention to me so that helped to take the edge off, but he worked a 2nd shift then so I did have A LOT of lonely times. I started taking a ceramics class and joined a gym. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

Blue Serenity- I did Weigh Down many, many years ago and I lost 30 lbs. That was back in the day when I didn't really realize that the weight could actually come back. It did and then some. I really like the IE book by Triboli (forgot the authors' names)...although I still have a long way to go to mastering it all. I'm determined to conquer IE and find my natural weight. I thoroughly believe that this is the way to do this. Good luck with it.

Today was a good day with eating even though it was a fairly difficult day at school. I teach special education and today was kind of challenging....BUT I honored my hunger, evaluated my feeling of fullness (which is my biggest challenge) and I know that I didn't overeat....AND I didn't let my emotions take over. I know that could change at any given moment, however...btdt
I also need to continue working on breaking my diet mentality. First thing this morning, I hopped on the scale. That's going to be a difficult thing to break.

Truffle-Your post really caused me to reflect back to when I was naturally thin. It's been a while, but I was there once. I haven't really given much thought to it, but I really do believe that I can recapture that 'ability'. How great would that be!?!

Becky, what a great post! I think I will print that one. Mommyto3, I got a degree in special ed way back in 1971 but after I had my first little girl in that same year (my Dh who is a veterinarian was still in school) I found out what I always wanted to do.....be a mom and we had 10 kids. I never taught and now that I am almost 60, I'm not looking for a job just now.

I don't have much to say except thank you. Reading/re-reading all the posts, realising that we're all in the same boat, and that it's never as bad as it seems to be. Reading the support, the well wishes and concerns is a great, great thing, one that I'm happy to be a part of.

A few posts ago, someone said something about a guinea pig. I adore guinea pigs. I've had them since I was 9. I'm 30 now, and quite obsessed with those noisy little things!

Yeah, I ate too much, so be it. My world isn't crumbling, and I haven't gained 50,000 lbs. It just feels good to get it out.

I can't imagine having 1 kid, let alone 10!! Holy cow! W/ no kids at home, it must be a huge change!!

I agree with whoever said that when we were younger, we didn't think at all about dieting. Ah, simpler times, I agree as well with get obsessed with how IE we are ..." Am I hungry? No, yes? How hungry? Do I need a flow chart for this?

Reading the posts in this thread and on this board-- many of them could be put together as a 'chicken soup for the soul' book.... 3 chick soup for the soul...

Hello again!

carolr3639, thanks. I am really leaning towards this path (IE). It's been a while since I last read Weigh Down so I don't remember all of her quirks. But now that you mention the eating half portions, yeah, I do remember that. That actually worked very well for me in the past at restaurants, since they serve such huge portions! And I've even gotten 3 decent-sized meals out of chinese take out in the past! ha! But yeah, making the half thing a "rule" to follow definitely isn't my cup of tea. It could easily turn into yet another "diet" having rules to follow. Thanks for the encouragement.

Optical, sorry you had a bad day, but glad you were able to find a silver lining. 3FC is great!

Truffle, ah, guilt! I understand that feeling completely. And I understand what you are saying about wanting to get back to normal eating without all the obsessing. I would hate to see how many minutes (er hours?) a day I waste thinking about what I ate, how much I ate, what I should have eaten, why I ate it, why I didn't eat it ... It's just crazy! I don't think this way of eating will be a problem for me in that it turns into a diet (at least I hope it doesn't). If anything I see it as a step in the right direction. But hey, this is coming from a person who, up until this morning, has been counting, measuring, weighing and avoiding food, so um ... I totally lost where I was going with this! lol Well, I'm hoping for the best anyhow. I can't stay on one plan very long. Call me a "diet hopper!" (Could probably burn some serious calories if it wasn't a mental exercise! ha!) Well anyway, thank you for sharing. I do want the freedom you described in your post. I'm so tired of the madness.

mommyto3, thanks! I found a web site on IE, which you've probably all seen already. From what I can gather, it seems like the plans I've been on in the past are similar enough that I can follow this way of eating without buying the book. Tho I tend to be a bookworm sometimes and wouldn't be surprised if I end up buying it. (Add it to my collection of weight-loss books! lol) Best of luck to you, too!

I had a pretty good day with the intuitive eating. I didn't log anything I ate and I didn't weigh anything or count anything, tho I did have smaller portions than what I would normally eat while counting calories. Just let my tummy do the talkin.' Even ate something that would have been such a no-no food for me on some plans ... had a nice juicy (greasy) 5 Guys hamburger and fries and enjoyed every bite of it! mmm mmm mmm. Yeah, I remember now why I like eating this way. I think I can do this! You guys mind if I hang out with you? I feel like I've been jumpin' all over the 3FC web site joining different groups and such trying to find the right plan or winning combination or whatever. lol I'm tired of all the diet hopping. Just want to settle down into NORMAL!

Well, it's late here, so you'll most likely be reading this in the mornin' so ...

Have a great day!

My DH says I've read every diet book written. It's not that bad but almost. I even had the thought one day that since I've learned all this, I should be able to lose weight, no problem. Didn't happen. I once did IE about 30 yr. ago and lost 10lb in 3 months. But that diet mindset is really hard to conquer. Blue Serenity, I love hamburgers and fries but don't get them often cause I'm a country dweller.......about 30 mi. from any town that would have that. I don't mind. My DH is really getting on me about driving with the cost of gas and all. He says that if I can't save at least $8 when I go go Walmart over our little country store that it isn't worth it.