Sarah, welcome! We're here to support you with a healthy weight loss, regardless of how much less you may weigh than some of us here. It's all too easy to put on 10 pounds... then 20... 30... and before you know it, you're completely out of control. You're smart to get the weight off now.
And congratulations on easing off on the alcohol.

I've got to pull myself together today. I'm undoing all the work I've done over the past few months. I'm in "I don't give a damn" mode.

Good luck to all of us.

Hi ladies, and thanks for the warm welcome a few pages back

Hasn't been a very good week for me, and I'm furious as I was doing so well. But for the last week, I haven't been binging per se, but overeating generally - just having too many snacks and second helpings at meals. This is very out of character - I'm usually an 'all or nothing' type. But it culminated yesterday in a binge - I had a box of four large doughnuts ( my favourite food EVER), half a big bag of kettle chips. Then I went to my parents' house and had a piece of carrot cake, three Jaffa cakes (little orange cookies) and a peanut butter sandwich . That's still quite a small binge by my standards, but to be honest I only stopped because I was exhausted and went straight to sleep, not because of any conscious decision.

So of course I've gained 3lbs as a result of last week, gah! And I'm wandering down to the kitchen every 10 minutes at the moment, haven't binged yet today but I feel like it's only a matter of time

Just a note to say I AM STILL HERE lol Just so beautiful here lately that I have been outside with the kids...in the pool...on the hammock....porch swing or just watching them play.........Sometimes I wonder how i can be bulimic when i have the best job inthe world...watching those two grow.

Ally(almost 5 y. old daughter) scared me today..I asked if she wanted her snack at 3pm (normally a snack cake or ice cream..only one they are allowed a day) When i handed her a PB&J Little Debbie oatmeal thingy she said "oh good not a brownie...i don't want to get fat" then my son has wanted to eat alll day and he said "mommy I am not usually such a pig but I am hungry again" this after he ate a big bowl of Apple Jacks (he is 6 btw) now neither of my kids are underweight or overweight...Jonathan is just right and ally is in the upper percentile of her age group but not over weight..(she is 44 inches tall and weighs 47 lbs now) Jonathan is 45 inches and 44 pounds... anyway I am going to bed i think....

Tonight I am taking Nora Roberts with me to the bed (yeap romance again) Debbie is releasing the new Cedar Cove book in Sept so I am patiently waiting for that and in the meantime i am catching up on the Garden Series by Roberts.....in case anyone reads romance like me....

My thoughts are with all of my fellow Bingers One of these days we will all desert this thread and never look back....

That makes me very sad to read about your kids. Kids from fifty years ago were never afraid of the sweet little enjoyments of childhood. Today though, I hear more and more of little kids feeling guilty about eating. They're at an age anyways where most of them NEED to eat higher cal foods because there stomachs are too small to hold enough low-cal food for healthy growth. I saw an episode of Oprah recently about a little four-year-old girl who was terrified of getting fat and refused to eat anything for lunch but a cup of peaches.
I'm NOT accusing you of anything, but where do you think your kids learned to be afraid of "getting fat"? A five-year-old refusing a brownie? It could be something at her day-care center or kindergarden thats she's learned from the other girls (in which case you might want to bring this to the attention of other moms) but since you're a dieter it could be some things she's learned from you. Are there things you've ever said in front of your kids to give them a fatty-food phobia? Ever? You may want to avoid talk of dieting/getting fat to kids (especially girls) at such an impressionable age. At least if you're talking like food is bad. Instead talk about eating HEALTHY foods and try to display food as a positive thing.
Woah, I wrote a ton. I'm sorry it probably seems like I'm giving you a lecture you really didn't ask for. Its just that anorexia is turning into an epidemic, and most experts are guessing that the girls who are ages 3-9 TODAY are going to be part of a rapidly expaning anorexia epidemic in a few years (due partly too the fact that we're in an "obesity epidemic" right now and the idea that they're bound to grow up fat if they aren't careful is being pounded into their brains everywhere).

well first i am not a dieter i am a recovering bulimic. not dancing around my problem there. and my kids do not attend day care..I am their day care. And school here teaches that high calorie, high fat, high sugar foods are bad

I teach my kids that brownies and junkfood CAN make you fat...I tell them that they are allowed one a day and that is it...Heathly snacks they get as much as they want (within reason)

The first time my children asked why mommy ate different foods than them I explained to them that I ate junkfood ALL my life..(a dozen cookies for lunch was no rare occurance in my life as a child) I was raised thinking that ALL foods were fine and that you can eat what you want and not get fat....I will not teach my kids the same thing...I am NOT overweight, I just have bulimia from being told at 8 that i was fat and ugly and would never marry...that night i binged a few years later i learned purging...i will not let my kids grow up to think that they can eat what they want and just puke it up and they will be healthy (sorry graphic there) that is how i was taught, and it is up to me to change that cycle. Because i was taught to eat what i want and just "get rid of it" or "not eat the next day" I now have problems with binge eating (extreme binges as in 2 BOXES of little debbie snack cakes within a couple of hours). I was raised on this stuff and now can't live without it.

Every time my daughter says she is getting fat i remind her that she is a healthy growing beautiful little girl. The same with my Son...My kids are some of the few that will take water over soda and 100% fruit juice popcicles to snack cakes. I am teaching them good habits.

Obesity in children is a big problem in todays America and Im here to tell ya that my kids won't add to that problem. Many of the obese children in this world are obese because their parents think "well if its a brownie at least its SOMETHING in their stomach". That is not my way of thinking...My way of thinking is this: Treats are just that TREATS not a meal not "something at least" its a TREAT they are allowed one a day and all the healthy snacks they want. They are happy well adjusted kids with energy and they are healthy...they have been to the doctor once in the last 2 years and that was for severe rotavirus. NEVER been in the hospital and I credit their healthy eating style.

The simple fact is that if you aren't careful you WILL grow up obese if you scarf down nasty stuff as a kid...look in the past of alot of obese people and you see obese children or children raised on junkfood. Obesity doesn't just POP up on you its not like you wake up one morning fat...it takes overeating...junk eating....just plain not caring....or a health problem...I will pound this into my kids' heads because people seem to think that children will grow out of their bad eating habits...I was taught bad habits and now it controls my life and i will not put my kids through what i go through on a daily basis....Hating food but craving it and eating it until it makes me so sick that i have to go to bed and cry to keep myself from purging...I have lost teeth, to this day i bruise easily, I cringe when i see food, I crave the feeling of control when i throw up a binge, I binge because its uncontrollable....I would rather protect my kids from this if its possible so I teach them that High Sugar, High Calorie, High Fat foods CAN make you fat if you eat them too much....BELIEVE me when i say my kids are JUST fine they eat from 4-6 times a day and they still enjoy life just as any kids on brownie cookie icecream diets do...only they will enjoy life as HEALTHY children.....Jumping off my soap box now and off to go swimming once again.....

To all my fellow bingers WHERE ARE YOU ALL???? On the binge free board i hope!!!

OH and my fellow romance readers the Nora Robers Garden series book one (Blue Dahlia) has a GHOST in it WOOO HOOO lovveeeee a good romance book with added ghosts!!

And a side note...I am not meaning to insult anyone of make anyone feel like a failure in this post...I am just explaining my ways of raising my kids to be ED free...and sharing my experience with research into overweight or obese people. There is nothing wrong with feeding your kids what they want as long as you teach them healthy habits as well....but when you grow up on the stuff and then can't live without it like me...you get scared for your chidrens adult lives. My children are my career, my life, my heart, and my soul.....never would I mistreat or mislead them.

^Well of course, its important to teach kids not to live off just treats. And you're right, the eating habbits that they learn when they're young will stay with them for life, which is why its probably better to get their calories in by giving them whole milk, cheese, and other things that are both nutritios but caloricly dense. You sound like a great mom and I'm glad that you're trying so hard to keep your kids from having to grow through what you have to grow though. I guess what I really meant is that the reason they should learn that they shouldn't have too many brownies shouldn't be because "I'll get fat" but because "I won't be healthy". Kids will be less likely to develope self-esteem issues if they know that their parents priorities are about their health, not they're waist line. Clearly your priority IS their physical and definatly psychological health. I guess what I meant was make sure they understand that you aren't scared they'll get fat and they shouldn't be right now either, but they SHOULD always be concerned for their health and well-being.

The thing is that i have a SIL that is overweight an aunt that is overweight and they both have extreme health problems....so they associate overweight (or in kidspeak fat *I hate the word fat*) with unhealthy, they think if you are fat you are unhealthy and you know most of the time thats right. They also know that even though mommy is "skinny" (yea sure wish i saw it that way) she is unhealthy because she eats junkfood too much...they know that you can be unhealhty and skinny just the same as unhealthy and fat....My son told his teacher that their snack (for valentines party) was way too unhealthy and he wanted a banana, cookie, and water instead of the cupcake, candy, cookies, koolaid, and marshmallows they were eating. She sent a note home surprised with his knowledge and control of food. Don't get me wrong here he wont touch most fruits and veggies with a ten foot pole so hes not some little angel child that is perfect lol....

I get alot of flak for not letting them eat what they want when they want but until you are bulimic or anorexic or any other ED and have wars with food every hour of the day you can't understand the pain of thinking that your child will turn into the same adult that you are, or understand the drive to turn that cycle around...and im telling you the cycle of EDs doesn't go in reverse easliy.

I just realized something...I am on day 5 of binge free.....not eating all that healthy but not binging either...

I notice that i concentrate too much on food...so now I do my other passion while eating and make the food take a back seat. I read while eating. I only put half of what i would normally eat (half a can of soup and half a grilled cheese instead of a whole can of soup and whole sandwich) then i grab a bottle of water and my most recent book and concentrate on the book instead of the food. I notice I am not as "sad" when my plate and bowl is empty..i get happy because now i can concentrate on my book more. Today I have been totally on track (minus exercise but June is a fresh start there for me).
Breakfast was: 2 mugs of coffee (yes caffiene addiction won) natures grains cereal with skim milk
Snack: some of those new hersheys 100 cal packs..the peanut butter kind
Lunch: Tacos (home made and only ate one)
Snack: 100 calorie pack of fudge striped cookies and 2 more mugs of coffee
Dinner: 1 can of progresso soup...( I LOVE progresso 200 calories for the WHOLE can and it fills you UP) also added more tomatoes to the soup since i LOVE tomatoes.
Later: gonna have more coffee ( yes my name is sharon and i am an extreme caffiene addict) and prolly a popcicle or something later.

Now I am gonna read, watch the end of the race (LOVE nascar), read, do some laundry, read, take a hot bath and read, go to bed and then, yeap you guessed it READ haha.....

i wish i had that much self control (seems like u had a good day with the calorie intake today)

I know i had much more than that...

I always start the day thinking 'right i'm not gona eat much today' but for some reason it never goes to plan...

Alright after my very angry declaration of no binging i have kept it except for one mini binge on m&m's but so far ive done pretty good

I didn't say let them eat what they want. Just don't ever let them develope a really bad fear of fat. Like an actual phobia of it. You have an eating disorder, obviously, and from the sound of it that started with you having a fear of becoming fat, right? I mean, before you were ever bulimic, didn't you at some point develope that fear? Otherwise you never would have made yourself throw up. I think we're in agreement that the best thing for kids is to WANT to be healthy, and not become overweight, but not have an overpowering fear of overweightness.
On another topic: Cupcakes, candy, cookies, koolaid AND marshmallows??? Your child's school is behind on the health guidlines for American schools. Even when I was a kid, Twinkies were outlawed at snacktime and discouraged at lunch time. I don't believe the elementary school in my area allows moms to bring in cupcakes or other treats for birthdays anymore.

Great job with eating so healthy and not focusing too much on food. I agree, not thinking about it too much helps. I heard somewhere (was it a CNN special edition?) that the difference between people who way overeat and people who stay thin without trying is the amount of focus put on the food. Only it’s exactly the opposite of what was previously believed: it’s actually the overeaters who concentrate on it too much. People who overeat too the extreme rarely do so only because they got distracted watching TV and ate more than they're fill. It’s that they've been craving it for so long that when they finally get it their brain goes "MUST HAVE IT". In example, someone sees a piece of German chocolate cake at a party.
Person who stays thin without obsessing thinks:
"Mmm! I love German chocolate cake!" And then eats a piece. Then they go on to more mingling with friends or something.
Obsessive overeater: "German chocolate cake. Oh my God. I can't eat that, its too bad. I can't. I can't." Ten minutes later after torturing their brain they give in and eat a piece. They've been waiting so long, they eat rapidly. Its gone almost before they realize they've started eating it, partly because as soon as they started they started thinking about why they shouldn't be. Thoughts like, “This is so bad for me, I shouldn’t be have this at all. I’m going to get fat.” They didn't get to enjoy it and aren't satisfied, so they decide to have another that they will enjoy more slowly. They put all their energy on making sure they enjoy it this time. "Sooo... good. This German chocolate cake is amazing. The coconut is toasted to perfection. The chef must have spent hours getting this icing design right. I can tell they used expensive chocolate. This is amazing tasting.” they think as they porously put all of their attention and focus into how amazingly good it is. They REALLY want to enjoy this sin. And after all those thoughts talking about the cake in their head, and so much focus put onto enjoying it, this person is still left with that focus put on the cake even after its gone. Its gone, those thoughts don’t go away and they’re left still thinking about how good it is. Which only makes them want another piece....
It’s a viscous cycle. And you can’t stop wanting more until you stop thinking about it. And this usually all begins with you thinking about why you shouldn’t have some and/or don’t deserve it for one reason or another.
I don't know if the overeater dialog describes your case at all. It describes me. Having something to distract yourself is important, as long as you have your portion size already layer out (so you don't have to worry about accidentally overeating). Its especially key to have something to do afterwards. I figured that out not long ago. I wish you good luck.

"Right I'm not gonna eat much today" is not a plan. Its a goal, but not a plan. I plan would involve an actual plan for EXACTLY what food you're going to eat. Try coming up with a meal plan for the whole day before you eat anything, you'll be much less likely to make a mistake that way. Its easier when things are black and white. As in, "This is on the plan. This is not. I shouldn't eat that." Instead of, "Is this too much? Is this okay? Would I be changing much if I eat this? SHOULD I eat that?" Trust me, meal plan = easiest to follow solution ever. I recently planned what I'll be eating for the next eight days of my life online. Try it.

yes i live in a small town that still allows outrageous parties...only on holiday parties do they eat like that though and its what the parents bring in.

I never meant to post about my children and have my parenting techniques questioned, I posted that because my friends here on the binge board know my fear of passing my sickness to my kids...I did not become bulimic for fear of being fat that started it but I was taught by my mom and sister that it was the way that i was supposed to be...eat watch tv for a while and then excuse ourselves to the bathroom.....its what i was taught not what i used in fear.

Bottom line is they are my kids, what we are in agreement with doesn't matter. the only person who has to agree with my parenting is my husband. I hate coming here and feeling bashed for teaching my kids that they shouldn't eat brownies because they will get fat.....Truth hurts ya know but bad calories DO make you fat (and yes i tell them calorie counts in foods)...they are also taught that no matter what they or anyone else looks like (whether its size race or age) everyone is a person God made and everyone should be treated with love and respect...they know if they get overweight they will be just as loved as they are today....
a majority of todays eating disorders in teens are from people making them feel unloved because they are fat....

If you don't have children now you will see when you do have them that it is extremely hard to teach your kids the right way to eat when all they have around them is commercials for junk, advertisements for junk, large displays for junk. My kids are taught right and know the difference between good calories and bad calories, with research i know about how many calories they need and i monitor that when feeding them....they are kids and are allowed to be kids but are limited to one treat a day...Just wait till you see a kid close to you crash off of a sugar high.....its not a pretty sight.

Thats all i will say on this matter, this is a binge thread meant for overeaters to come and admit binges and I feel that this conversation is getting in the way of other posts in which people are asking for encouragment and support.

Leah: its really hard to control it If it wasn't for my books I wouldn't make it most days...my best advice for you is make yourself a dinner...Put half of what you normally eat on your dinner plate then either freeze or throw away the rest (freezing it makes it less appealing because you have to reheat it). Also I hate frozen cookies and snack cakes so I freeze them, the only time we eat them in this house really is for hubbys lunch or kids afternoon snack so i just lay out enough for his packed lunch and the kids snack and leave the rest frozen.

Kristen: You are beautiful by the way, I am happy that you are staying bingeless (well at least big bingeless) I know it has to be hard as a teen, I have a 16 year old best friend that has had problems with weight gain as well and I share your struggles to stay bingefree with her and she says it helps her alot. You are an inspiration to many teens that prolly don't even post on the boards for fear of embarrasment. Way to go on getting control of your life as a young age!