granted, but he also mowed your garden and chopped down your trees.

I wish I had a new dishwasher.

Granted, but you bought the new dishwasher because the old one leaked all over the kitchen and ruined the floor, which now has to be replaced.

I wish I didn't have to give this speech today.

Granted, but now you cannot speak ever again.

I wish my family could all get along.

Granted, but you must all live together in a 2 room house without air conditioning in the middle of the mohave desert and hold hands while singing Cumbayah together 2 hours every night.

I wish I had a personal chef.

Granted, but he cooks liver and onions for every single meal.

I wish my brother's dog would hurry up and be potty-trained!

Granted, but the dog gets loose and runs away and you never see it again.

I wish I could go on vacation

Granted, but it rains the whole time.

I wish I will pass my exam on Thursday.

Granted. You don't just pass you get a 100.
But because the rest of the class flunked, no one will talk
to you anymore (and the teacher things you cheated)

I wish my husband would stop snoring!

Granted... but now he has uncontrollable flatulence all night long!

I wish my husband would clean the bathroom.

Granted but he only cleaned it 'cause all his buddies were coming over and they completely trashed your house.

I wish I could eat my weight in Chinese food without ever gaining a pound

Granted. You didn't gain a pound! You gained 20!!

I wish that we make $500 in our garage sale next weekend!

Granted, but they bought the whole garage for $500 and took it away. Now you have to park outside.

I wish I had new carpeting.

Granted, but your new carpeting is on Change4Life's driveway and has a car parked on it.

I wish my Christmas shopping was done.

Granted, but the mpg on your car would decrease as well.

I wish that it was November 21st already!

Granted! It's November 21st today!

I wish I had a spare bedroom for my Holiday guests.