Hey - I'm not a 20-something but I ran across your post. I just wanted to tell you that I became pregnant with my daughter at age 39...I was 297 lbs. I actually LOST weight while I was pregnant because I was so careful about eating healthy for the baby, especially being "of advanced maternal age". She's 4 now and I've kept off those 30 or so pounds. This year, I've put my mind on losing some more. I always told myself I had to eat healthy for my baby - not sure why I couldn't just do it for myself - but it worked. Now I tell myself to eat healthy for my daughter - to set a good example, and to be able to be with her as long as possible.

Thanks fadedbluejeans :-)

I confess that I skipped dinner last Saturday so that I could drink 4 beers and get my Old Chicago mini tour shirt:


I have since decided that a better way to get "free" shirts is to walk 5Ks...so I signed up for a St. Patrick's Day 5K.

This is both sad, & now, a guilty pleasure. Like Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team. << confession 1.

- I'm near my goal & I feel nearly as bad about myself as I did when I was 200+. In my head, I'm still the fat girl, & I don't know when or if she'll ever go away.

- I can't stand my SIL. We've never truly gotten along. I was the fat DIL & she was the beautiful, blonde, skinny, in shape, gym rat, Barbie, trophy wife DIL. She has always made me feel horrible about myself. After 73lbs lost, she still hasn't said a SINGLE WORD about my weight loss...and she's a Beach Body coach. Some motivational coach, eh? I live in competition with her & I hate every second of it. She's not a nice person, she doesn't treat people well, & she's the most most self-centered person in the world! So, WHY THE F**K DO I CARE?

- My dad never told me I was beautiful until I started dropping weight. He also told me to lose weight before I got married or I'd stay fat because it was too hard to lose after I was married.

- I blame my parents for my getting fat. It wasn't a healthy, happy home, so I ate. And food was nice to me.

I don't know if I feel better or worse, but I guess it's out there.

oh confessions! I'll play along with this one...

-sometimes i won't eat all day because i ate a large meal the day before,
-i am secretly glad my husband is heavier because i feel like it makes me look thin,
-i am also secretly glad my friend is heavier than me because i feel like people judge her first at the gym (terrible... i know),
-i ate an entire pint of mint chip ice cream last week
-oh and even though I'm 60 pounds lighter than i was two years ago, i still feel very fat and it makes me depressed... which makes me eat... a lot...

*sigh*

I confess:

I feel like no one will ever love me unless I'm thinner.
I secretly resent that all my cousins are gorgeous and size 0s.
I've been so afraid to start dieting/exercising since it signals to other people that I'm aware of the fact that I'm overweight.

I confess I am super self conscious around my 110-120 lb petite boyfriend. I know he loves me and thinks I have a rockin body but I don't think I'll be fully comfortable around him until I lose the weight.

I confess that I loved shopping in Loft and Old Navy yesterday and was treated like a normal person. That makes me feel guilty as I will never forget where I came from and how people treated me when I was larger. But I did love feeling like I blended in with everyone else shopping, even if it was the XL clothes I was going through.

Every time I go off plan or have a bad food day, I think, "Well, this is it. This is the moment when I start losing control and gain it all back." You would think that I'd have more faith in myself by now, but when I know I'm going to have a bad weigh-in, I get so down, especially if it's more than one in a row.

This - 100%

I feel like what I've lost so far doesn't count because it took so long. So there wasn't a quick change for people to notice. I feel like they still see 256-247.

#1 - I am almost always thinking about food. Mostly bad, delicious stuff like burgers and ice cream.
#2 - #3 - Like a post said far in the beginning, I'm afraid that losing weight will not improve my chances of finding love. I'm a bit of a weirdo, not-girly girl. But maybe that's just because I'm too fat to carry myself like a girly girl.
#4 - One of the reasons I want to lose weight is to be able to eat delicious things once in a while without hating myself (fat girl mindset or not, I REALLY love food. I cook all the time).
#5 - I'm afraid that when I get to my goal weight, I'll be too jaded to appreciate male attention (if I ever get it)
#6 - I've only been dieting for about a month, but it feels like a year has passed. I'm afraid this mindset will lead to my downfall.


As you can see, I have a huge self-sabotaging problem.

I am afraid that I may never be able to feel "thin" and that I will just continue to feel like my "fat" self.

I was super excited to get home and weigh myself after a fairly significant haircut, even though I knew it wasn't going to significantly move the scale and that even if it did, hair weight would have nothing to do with having a healthy and fit body.

My scale isn't moving much due to my muscle growth but I feel like my fat loss is really noticeable, especially in my face. When I went to church last weekend (feeling great because I was wearing pants I hadn't been able to wear in like a year and a 1/2) not one person seemed to notice that I looked different and it really bummed me out. I'm losing weight for me and me alone, but I'd still like for the people around me to notice how hard I'm working and that it's actually paying off. For once in my life, I'm going at this 100% and it's working! I couldn't be happier, but it's like no one else cares. It's silly to think others should care about my weight loss as much as I do, but it still annoys me. :