Carol I read a diet program (and I'm not promoting a diet) where part of the plan is eating a small snack before bedtime. It seems that some people need that. The point was not so much eating it as it was debunking the myth of "you should never eat before going to bed". It even told people to eat when they get up during the night if they needed it. The program was more smaller meals and snacks every few hours so it was not one of those eat all you want kind of diets. So perhaps for some reason your body is telling you that it needs a little something at those times. It may be one of those learning to listen to your body times and see what it needs. I say your post after this so maybe it is just another process of IE.

Let me add that I cannot eat before I go to bed because I can't seem to rest after even the very smallest snack or even a shake before going to bed. It didn't take me long to figure out that it would never be an option for me. Also, I would not trust eating during the night because I'm afraid it would become habit for me. Another thing where we learn how things work for us individually.

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone is doing well and had a nice Christmas. Those of you experiencing all the snow? You can send some to me.

I've settled into a low carb woe. However, I did allow myself to eat whatever I wanted Christmas day. I know I do better with low carb and I feel better eating it, but I don't want to lose my IE way of eating either so I am combining them. It really works for me because I don't have any cravings.

Carol I enjoyed the article. Thanks for sharing it. It is right on. We went out for Tony's birthday Christmas eve. We went to a restaurant that his son had sent us gift card to last Christmas because we still had some money on it. Not a place we would normally go to. They make a Coconut Chicken (not low carb) and I knew we wouldn't be going back there. I wanted it so I ordered it. Really neat that it did not set off a trigger for more carby foods. However, yesterday I wanted a dessert type food. I couldn't decide between 2. I decided to eat one and then decided later that I just had to have the other one. I'm sure it was a "head" thing and not a "hunger" thing. But I think I've come to the place in IE, that it won't be a problem today. This is the purpose of combining low carb with IE. I know I can have something else if I reeeaaaalllllyyyy want it so it keeps me from going wild.

I am excited to say that my eating has settled down. I do need to be sure that I drink enough water. I can tell at times that I need more even when I think I've had more than enough. Cold weather makes it harder to drink enough water because all I want is hot drinks.

ALO I identified so with your post about accpeting your body. I still struggle with that. I'm trying to change that, but it takes work. When I see myself in the mirror, I try to remember to even say things out loud about it. I try to tell myself that it is what it is for now and I know that if I keep doing what I'm doing and be patient that this will eventually change maybe not as fast as I would like but it will happen. Then I also had the thought yesterday that when I get thin and it hasn't gone away... there are always undergarments to wear that will make it look like it. I could never wear them now because I couldn't breath, but hopefully when the weight comes off that will change. May never happen, but for now it just my way of dealing with it now.

Blue, sidhe, Julie and others

Hi, ladies...I thought I was going to be so smart this year, and start a new weight loss effort BEFORE January 1st. I ate with abandon yesterday because I was going to get up today and start a very strict program, Atkins, or if I didn't feel particularly strong, I was going to count calories.

Well, before I even ate any breakfast, I realized I just couldn't do it. I have never been able to stick to Atkins, and I don't last much longer counting calories.

I thought, wouldn't it be nice to head into a new year doing the thing that most closely fits ME, which is a non-diet, intuitive eating way of living? Yes, it would. I'd love to go through a year of not yo-yo'ing on different weight loss plans. Even if I didn't lose a ton of weight, at least I'd quit swinging back and forth, losing two, regaining three, etc.

The problem is, I also have some sisters that are dieting to lose weight, and since I'm the biggest of all four of us, I'm pretty much expected to fall in with them and do the same things they're doing. One sister has just lost 20 pounds out of about 50. She's very gung ho on dieting and exercise at the moment. One sister had about 20 pounds to lose. She cut back a little, and got right back to her normal weight. The other sister would like to lose about 50 pounds. She keeps going on and off calorie counting/"healthy eating" plans, but is struggling right now and has thrown in the towel--but will be starting fresh on January 1st.

I am willing to eat less and move a little bit more, but I'm not willing to eat foods I don't like; eat "diet" foods; weigh or measure foods; record foods--so that really excludes me from the approach two of my sisters are taking.

I don't know how many times this year I've lost a few, regained a few, lost a few, regained a few. I know that all I have to show for a whole year of on and off effort is the loss of a mere FIVE pounds. That's nothing but a whole lot of frustration when I have over a hundred to lose.

I started today going back to the Intuitive Eating way, and wonder if I have any right to continue that through the coming year. As a very large person, do I have any right to NOT diet, in the conventional sense? This is a rhetorical question. I know that I do have that right; I'm just not sure how comfortable I'll be not even attempting to do the same thing that my sisters will be doing.

As I write this, it sounds so silly, yet it's difficult to resist family "peer pressure".

I'd feel so free if I thought I could go through 2010 eating foods I like, and maybe ending the year with several pounds gone.

Do I dare actually grab that freedom for myself? Do I dare go against the flow, even though I'm by far the largest one of us four sisters?

Have you dealt with pressure to diet from other family members, even if it's not actually spoken?

Thanks Trish, for the eating advice. I have tried eating at night but it leaves such a funny taste in my mouth. If I eat right before bed I'm usually ok. Becky, oh I know about peer pressure but it can even be friends as well as family. The thing is they usually gain their weight back so in the end they have nothing to say. After IEing for 3 years I have only lost 40 lb with 30 to go but I know I can't diet anymore.

Truffle--welcome to the brood!

Congratulations to you for being aware of what does NOT work for you, and for acknowledging what you are just not willing to do to lose weight. That trips up many, many people as they try to force themselves into compliant boxes. You've already got a firm foundation to build on. Now you know what you're not willing to do...all you have to do is try things until you find what you ARE willing to do!

A suggestion for trying to overcome the comparisons with your sisters: what else do you do that is different from them? What are your professions, your families, your lifestyles? I'm sure there's something that sets you apart from your sisters aside from your weight. When you feel pressured to "join them" in their dieting methods, think about what makes you all different and assure yourself that it's okay to not follow their paths.

Welcome to the group, and good luck with your goals!

Becky - I have spent 2009 learning what I'm willing to do and what I can do. I'm sorry to say that this year I went from 217.5 lbs to 236.5 lbs. That was the part that I was really afraid of about IE. But I now am confident that I am on an IE way of eating that I can live with. I basically low carb because I feel better when I eat less carbs, but I allow myself the freedom to eat carbs if and when I want it. I know I have to have that freedom to keep myself from wanting carby stuff all the time. I have learned that carby foods make me hungry. Just my system. I have also learned what I "really" like and what I do not. Example, I suddenly realized Thanksgiving Day that I don't like turkey. As a result, I don't have to eat it and I'm not going to. I've learned that while I can eat a lot veggies, that there are only about 5 or 6 that I "really" enjoy eating so those are the ones I eat.

I can identify with your dilemma. I don't know how many times I have been on a diet and even things going good and someone well meaning family member or friend would come to me or mail me a new diet that they just knew would work for me. I would cave in to please them only to have the weight come back on. It has taken me all these years (I'm 66 yrs young) to learn that I have the right to do this the way I believe is right for me. I've lost 4 lbs so far of the weight I gained. Maybe I will lose the weight quickly or maybe I will lose it slow, the most important thing is that I lose and do it healthy the WAY IT WORKS FOR ME.

I think weight loss is Personal. No 1 diet fits all. So I'm doing it the way that fits me. I read a book about people who lose weight and keep it off and that is what they do. Some take a diet and tweak it to fit them, some follow a diet exactly and some don't diet they just eat more like IE. That is when I decided that all I had to do was find out what would work for me and do it.

Hope you will be able to do the same. This is where you have to do what is best for Becky and please her not you sisters or anyone else.

Good luck on your journey,.

I double dog dare ya

I would just like to say how lovely it is not to feel a need to dissect what I ate and didn't eat yesterday! I'll just say the world today is short a few fine gingerbread men They were good men and went down for the cause honorably.

Julie Isn't the freedom great? No guilt etc, just enjoy and move on. So funny and cute. I have visions of little ginerbread men disappearing or running.

Trish, I was reading your note and thinking, "yes...yes....yes, yes, yes!!" It sounds almost orgasmic, doesn't it?

My experience with beginning IE was SO similar to yours! I also gained about 20 pounds when I started IE (my tracker is not accurate but I'm being petulant and refusing to change it). I went through a period when I had cake for breakfast because I could, dammit, and there were no rules telling me not to. I got back into eating white flour foods, too, because there were no rules telling me not to. Then I eventually looked at cake and decided I didn't want the consequences. I didn't want the aching stomach, the bloat, or the weight gain. I could have cake, but I chose not to. I realized that my body was much, much happier with an apple and peanut butter for breakfast.

I started really paying attention to how I felt when I ate different foods, and it became pretty clear that my body loves fresh foods and really, really hates processed foods. I started going to the grocery store almost daily for fresh foods--our pantry and fridge look woefully bare when we're done eating for the day, because we've eaten everything I bought that morning! Right now in the fridge (besides drinks and condiments) I've got half a container of fresh-soup-from-the-grocery-deli, two chicken breasts (dinner), a parsnip and some carrots (dinner), and half a bag of salad greens (dinner). And an apple for tomorrow's breakfast. That's it!

So. I am willing to cut out (or cut severely back on) wheat-based foods. (I knew that my body didn't react well to them, but I guess I had to finally prove it to myself, one last time.) I am willing to go to the store every day for fresh food. I am willing to cook (as opposed to, say, eating out every day or eating frozen meals). I write everything down in a general way (ie "medium banana", not "4.7 ounces banana"). I am NOT willing to weigh and measure. I am NOT willing to count anything (veggie servings, calories, Points, fat grams, etc). I'm NOT willing to be held accountable by anyone else for what I eat or how much I exercise. I refuse to justify my choices. My body is mine, and I'm in charge.

It would be interesting to know how many of the rest of us went through the initial "gain 20 pounds" stage. For me, I had to go through it while still paying attention to myself, to finally establish what my rules were for my program. Everyone? What say you?


(Oh, and FWIW--In the last week I've lost about 2.5 of the 20 pounds I put on.)

I don't know what's happened, but somewhere along the way, it seems that my body doesn't do so well with carbs either. I've been making that Chex Muddy Buddies recipe this week (also known as "Puppy Chow"), the stuff with the chocolate, peanut butter, and Rice Chex. It's so easy to nibble on cup after cup of that, but I immediately feel bloated when I eat carbs like that.

I could easily live, at this point, on nothing but junk and bread. I can literally go weeks without a fresh fruit or vegetable. There are many days I start eating junky flour/sugar items even before breakfast.

I'm 53, and my father is diabetic. I'm hoping to stave that off for as long as possible, but I know I'm not doing myself any favors eating the way I am.

Sometimes what I classify as "intuitive eating" could just as easily be described as "lazy" or "without boundaries" eating. I'm not eating for health at all, even though I know I should be.

Patty, I might be smart to do as you do--limit my carbs, but leave the permission to eat them if I really want them, and don't choose them all day, every day, like I have been.

I've gotten tangled up with so many eating issues since I've been fat. I'd like this to be the year I start getting a grip on it.

I think of intuitive eating as eating what my body is telling me it needs, not what my mouth is telling me it wants. Sometimes my body needs an indulgence , but most of the time if I'm honest it's not telling me it needs donuts for breakfast. The trick is getting the mind out of the decision making and going with the body. The mind either is wrapped up in emotional eating and instant gratification, or busy condemning what we do eat and making it joyless and guiltful.

There are times I get up in the mornings thinking I want to eat whatever casting caustion to the wind. I find myself intuitively fixing something healthy for breakfast and planning what I'm eating that day. I recently realized that I would rather eat at home where I know what is in my food than to go out to eat. Sometimes when we go shopping at Walmart, I will half a meal with DH at McDonalds; however, most of the time I will go shopping while he goes and eats by himself. Then I come home and eat what I want here. Food just doesn't have a the importance in my life that it used to have. Thank God.

Boy, this says it all--and is so right! My mind is absolutely wrapped up in "emotional eating and instant gratification".

One thing that's been tripping me up lately is the fact that my husband gets up much later than I do. There might be a stretch of four or five hours between when I'm up and ready to roll, and when he gets up. I like to eat breakfast with him, but I'm hungry shortly after getting up, so I tend to rummage around the kitchen to find something easy to grab and eat quietly, so that I don't make a lot of noise. That ends up being a couple of bowls of cereal to eat dry, or a couple pieces of toast, or a handful of cookies. I'll eat that, but still eat a "real" breakfast of oatmeal or eggs or something when my husband gets out of bed around nine. This isn't helping my weight loss efforts any.

Becky--do you live in my house? My husband also gets up far, far later than I do. The way it works around here is that we each eat when we are hungry. He rarely wants breakfast, but I'm usually starved for it. So I feed myself. If I want eggs, I make eggs. If I want meatloaf (it's been known to happen, I eat all sorts of things for breakfast) I heat up some meatloaf. It's not all that noisy, really, unless you live in a studio apartment. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself, and to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Hmmm...oatmeal...