[astrophe]

I feel like talking about sex!

So tell me how PCOS has affected your sex life or libido.

For me I never lost libido completely, but I know there were slumpy times when my meds were off or before the dx where I felt low energy in that department.

And I've read about other PCOS patients who have symptoms that were "unsexy" -- like the extra weight or facial hair or hormonal acne or...and it was like holding them back. Or maybe it wasn't holding them back but it wasn't exactly HELPING any either. (I'm in that camp.)

So what do you guys think about it? And does it figure now in your PCOS management plan or your weight loss efforts or...?

A.

[Willow324]

Totally lacking in that department. Im always so tired and uninterested. Lately, Ive actually had to make an effort because I could seriously go months without wanting it....needless to stay that isnt exactly great for my marriage.
The weight has a lot to do with it...I refuse to be seen naked and he is not allowed to touch my stomach! how embarassing!

[Michi702]

Before I was really diagnosed, I felt I had an average drive. Then I went on the pill (not because of PCOS because it was before I found it, but for birth control reasons) and I feel like there's a noticeable difference now. That could have more to do with the actual pill itself versus PCOS, but my doctor told me that the pill is killing 2 birds with one stone - one for preventing pregnancy, the other for treating PCOS - so it's inadvertently related.

I was very worried for a while that my low drive was because I wasn't attracted to my boyfriend, but I went to counseling to talk about it since I really love him and want to marry him down the road. I worked through the issue and I found out that it's more likely the fault of PCOS/the pill than anything else. It sucks, but I try to be attentive to it and as silly as it sounds, it helps me to sort of have a weekly goal in mind for how many times we're intimate. My issue is mainly that initiating or getting interested in the first place is tough, but we work at it and everything seems to end up splendid

[Rana]

I always thought my elevated levels of testosterone made my libido higher than normal!!!!

When I started using BCP, specifically Yasmin, I felt my libido go down.

Now that I'm without the BCPs, I'm waiting to see how things balance out with the diet and exercise. My desire has been coming back, albeit slowly.

[astrophe]

willow324: Aw... I hope things look up for you.

I don't mind lights on so long as it isn't bright and hurting my eyes. Candles or the closet light with the door cracked enough to let it into the bedroom but not be blinding is good. So's natural daylight filtered by the curtains a bit.

I don't care about my stomach. I figure DH has seen me at my best and at my worst, so stomach? That's not even at the worst side of the continuum! Having to clean up my puke from morning sickness was worse.

And we've always showered together -- even when we were dating. It became the time to catch up with each other about college, then later work, and so on.

Michi702 -- That's interesting about the effect of BCP on you. We've been through periods of neither one being much on initiating but once somebody DOES... it takes off fine too. I guess maybe its Life? So busy doing things, it's hard to get in the mood to initiate?

Rana -- Interesting... I never thought about that even though I also have high testosterone.

In thinking about it some more, I can see obvious times where my PCOS affected drive. Like I mentioned before -- before the dx I was in a slump but I chalk that up to the crazy hormones. And pregnancy or early infancy was a place of "I want to, but I'm sooo tired I can't do the whole 9 yards."

I do have the extra weight and chin hairs and whatnot but I never felt like it was holding me back and DH never cares about that stuff. I mean, he cares in terms of whether I'm healthy or managing PCOS ok but not cares in terms of a chin hair or pimple.

He doesn't worry about it and neither do I. Sometimes they are there, sometimes they are not. It's not SEXY, but whatever. He's got his weird one nostril hair that grows out of his nose and has a pimple now and again too. We're all human!

Maybe its because we've been together so long and the PCOS thing just evolved with us? We met young, and he knew me as a normal size college student, saw me through the crazy gain and the moods and the wacko, we got married, more wacko up to the dx at long last, got through the high risk pregnancy thing together, blah blah blah. We joke that we're racing to see who will go thinnest on top first. (And PCOS or not, he's still winning )
A

[snoozlebug]

I totally hear ya, Michi. I do notice that as I've gotten older (12 years after dx) and especially going on Yaz and Metformin within the last couple of years, my libido can get pretty flat and stay there. But I agree...a decent amount of sex is necessary for the health of the relationship. I know this is silly but we have a special calendar hanging on the wall, where I draw in smiley faces on days of the week that we do it!! Helps me keep track and if he's been cranky I usually check the calendar and there's a nice correlation. :P

I am usually the most receptive when I have the least stress going on in my life and when I don't have any impending deadlines. Being well rested helps, too (morning sex is way better than groggy late-night sex, for me anyway).

I complained to my doctor once about feeling low-ish levels of libido, and she was surprised because she said usually the elevated testosterone resulted in the opposite in a lot of PCOSers. But it's really hard to separate out personality and internal states and PCOS hormone effects. I might just be a stressed out person to begin with, without this terrible syndrome, and that could affect libido in and of itself.

[astrophe]

Happy faces! I get little hearts on my TCOYF calendar.

A.

[PinkHoodie]

I have had issues with low drive since day one. I don't know what exactly it is. But we are working on it. I am concerned about it getting worse now that I am on an antidepressant. Its another thing to see a counselor about...my list is getting long!!!!

[Dragonfly33]

My sex drive comes and goes. I am not self concious that much about my body as my husband has always known me to be overweight but I do get paranoid about excess hair on my body. He doesn't care but I do so it bothers me sometimes.

I rarely initiate sex but once he does, I'm good to go!

[ems81wales]

yea mine comes and goes and i feel frumpy and all that so dont feel like it and also feel tired and depressed there is no hope for me lol xxx

[Laneyy]

At the end of the summer it was pretty high, but now after gaining 10+lbs I feel completely out of whack and not "in the mood" ever. I'm tired all the time and I barely ever feel like myself.

[PageLynn]

mine has always been high. Only time I notice a dip is pregnancy/right after childbirth and when I was focusing on weight loss/made my PCOS seem under control as I was losing pre-baby #2. Now that I'm losing yet hormones are outta whack for some reason, my sex drive is high again.

[drummergrrrl]

My sex drive was always ... well, ravenous might be a good word ... but then it almost completely went away after I started the Met/Yaz combo. I don't know whether that was the cause, but it's a little unnerving nonetheless. However, since I don't have a significant other to keep company, the pressure's off, so I don't really have to worry about my lack of interest. Interesting to hear that other ladies have experienced the same thing (I felt kind of alone in this).

[synger]

Mine has almost completely disappeared over the years.

Then a few years ago, I started getting the nastiest cramps in my right inner thigh in the middle of intercourse. So much so that I'd be in tears of pain for half an hour after throwing him from my body. Needless to say, it wasn't very romantic.

I'm so afraid of the pain now that I'm afraid to even try to initiate intimacy. Even though I've lost 50 pounds since the last time we tried (which was probably over a year ago. I've lost count).

He is an amazingly patient man to put up with all this.

[Paramedic]

I've always had a high libido, and while it has gone down a tiny bit, it's not enough to actually worry me. DF can always count on me to initiate anything.

I can definitely say that as I'm losing more weight, I'm feeling better about me and therefore bringing back the feeling I once had of being sexy. (That almost feels weird to type out, haha)