The best way to control PCOS -- with or without a doctor -- is through diet and exercise.
The diet part is really the critical part of it! And no, just because you have PCOS it doesn't mean that you will be fat forever. It just means that you have to find a different way of losing weight.
Most diets that are low in carbs (whether it's Atkins, South Beach, paleo, etc.) tend to be really beneficial for people who have PCOS, because there is usually an underlying insulin resistance (pre-prediabetes) which reacts poorly to refined carbs (like breads, rice, pasta, candy, cookies, cakes, potatoes, etc.).
Vegetarian diets that focused on the VEGETABLE aspects (and not just on eating bread!) can also be really good for PCOS patients, but it has to be a conscious effort to eat vegetables and not just become a carb filled diet.
Also, there are supplements that you can take because they have found that women with PCOS (and diabetics too!) have deficiencies in certain minerals and vitamins that other people are fine with. Some examples are Vitamin D, the B-vitamins, magnesium and Vitamin C and Omega-3 (fish oil).
I take supplements in addition to managing my diet and exercising. Exercising doesn't have to be intensive, 3 hour sweat dripping work outs either. The best type of exercise is to walk after every mean, actually -- because your body is processing food, during that walk, you can burn some of the excess glucose your body can't handle on it's own, eliminating the need for it to convert it to fat.
Additionally, they have found that some foods are great for managing your blood sugar, like cinnamon. Adding it to your daily diet can help your IR (if you have it and you won't know until you get tested for it). Also, if we are to assume that our bodies can also benefit from "alkalinizing it" (i.e. making it less acidic) then a glass of lemon/lime juice with water in the mornings can help your body. Green tea has also been found to help insulin resistance, as well as eating lots of leafy greens like collards, kale, chard, spinach, etc.
To manage my blood sugar, I take chelated chromiun (not piccolinate) which has been shown to help manage IR in some patients.
Additionally, in terms of exercising, weight lifting has been shown to help women with PCOS because it helps create muscles which burn additional calories even in resting state. Even though PCOS can make our hormones out of whack, having a higher testosterone level (which is causing some of the hirsuteness) it doesn't mean we're going to turn into these gigantic muscle body lifters if we do strength training!!!! I wish. It would mean I wouldn't have fat in my inner thighs... sigh.
Good luck. It's a lot process and my best advice is to make one change at a time. And yes, weight loss is slow. But you don't have to reach your goal weight to see marked differences in your health or your body and you may find that after losing 10% of your body weight your cycles regulate and you can get pregnant.
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