A "power greater than ourselves" always sounded so ominous to me, until I reached step 3 and realized that I needed nuclear-strength assistance to gain control of my food addiction.
I gave in, resigned myself to the fact that I could not control the disease on my own and went looking for help. The HP led me to the OA group and there I found the words, people and a clearly defined system in written words to lead me to the HP. I knew she was there, but never thought to channel that connection in this way. This spirit has lifted the burden from my shoulders. I gave the "problem" to my HP and asked for direction to keep me going in the right path.
This power energizes me, pushes me away from dangerous situations and motivates me with interesting opportunities when I ask for them.
I think there is an invisable broadband connection to my HP that sends me the answers before I can even ask the questions.
Now I realize that my HP is "greater" by virtue of her ability to see far and wide, gently guide and keep balance in my life.
To me, a power greater than ourselves is very personal. I believe it's same the energy but a different form or idea for all of us.
It's an infinite source of loving energy that is there to guide, help, and inspire us through life's lessons. When we have the courage to surrender to this loving energy, life is "smooth sailing" even through the tribulations and crises.
I have done this in my life at random times and when I did, I couldn't have dreamt up a better plan for my life. I'm trying once again to do this and this time with food. Why I didn't think of this before!? I am grateful for OA.
This is not OA literature but I love this analogy of a higher power from a book called "Seat of the Soul": Picture a huge ship(the Mother Ship) on a calm ,massive ocean,floating along over the waves,the picture of pure serenity. Now behind the ship,little boats following the Mother Ship. Some of these boats are following closely,over calm seas and enjoying peace and tranquility, some others veering off to the left and right into choppy seas. As you watch the boats drift further from the Mother Ship, the seas become more difficult to navigate. Some little boats go right out of the picture. Others take on water and come to a stop. Some go in circles(use your imagination). Yet, others veer off course only to come right back on track and once again enjoy calm seas.
The story is clear-You are the little boat-Only You are in the little boat..Where do you choose to steer your little boat(You can only control the direction of your boat-no one elses)
Do you follow the Mother Ship over calm seas??Do you drift off course occassionally and come right back on track???Do you stall and start taking on water,possibly to sink under the dark waves??? This day, and every day you choose where to steer your boat..During the day(if you are watchful)you will clearly know if you are on course by your emotions: Joy on course..Good health on course...Abundance on course...See??
I do not put a name on the Mother Ship(that is your choice) I do suggest that you line your boat up with the Mother Ship and enjoy the journey of your new chartered course.
Last edited by charlenej; 11-16-2006 at 07:51 PM.
Reason: spelling
At my OA meeting today we read from the big book, and HP happened to be the topic we covered. I love this:
Pg.50
"In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the power which is greater than himself. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried. They are questions for each individual to settle for himself."
"Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they whole-heartedly met a few simple requirements. Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory. They show how the change came over them. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith."
I struggle with this one. I grew up in a very religous enviroment and grew to hate it. I tend to think you have to be religous to believe in a higher power.
Time magazine did a piece once on spitituality, are you spiritual. 20 questions or something like that. I fell into the highest group, very spiritual. I fould it interesting, it gave me a new understanding about my beliefs.
I do believe in a power greater than ourselves. There are times when I have to say thank you for moments in my life that some would call coincidences. But I know them to be shown to me by my HP. I believe in faith. I pray. I believe that I don't always know what is best, that sometimes I fight hard for something, only to loose. And that this turns out for the best.
I struggle with the name, the image from my childhood. I will come to peace with my HP and then I will spend time with my family and end up confused and sometimes angry. Rebelling against old beliefs, and weakening current ones. This tells me that I have not reached the place I need to be. There is still work I need to do.
crispymama-
You are definitely not alone in your feelings and confusion on this. As a matter of fact, the Big Book spends an entire chapter "To the Agnostics" dealing with the idea of a higher power. I recommend reading it.
I also recommend reading Step 2 in the AA 12 and 12.
Your HP does not have to resemble the one of your family. It can have a different name, look different, act different, sound different, and even smell different. All that is important is that you know that you are not in control-- that a power greater than yourself is in control.
You don't have to tell your family or anyone else about your HP. It's a relationship between you and it. It will grow, deepen, change, ebb, and flow according to how much time and effort you put into the relationship.
topic for the week: power greater than ourselves
I love it!
Your last line is comforting, that it will grow and deepen.