A Realization
 

I was reading Step One of "The Twelve Steps" and I came to an even greater realization this morning... my disease has been causing great problems in my marriage. First and foremost I blamed my husband for everything. I blamed him for my unhappiness! And even moreso I had covered my emotions so much with food that there was no possible way to communicate my feelings with him. So I suppose he was really right when he told me "You never tell me anything anymore!" :lol3:

I am just in awe at this still. I had no idea that I was drugging myself with food. I had no idea that I was doing this! Or that it was even possible for that matter.

:lol3: I have been posting here a LOT lately! :dizzy:

Wow! Aren't you glad you got that book! :lol:
Sound like you're going through a heavy period of growth. Intellectually, that is. ;) I'm so glad you're finding stuff out about yourself. Keep posting... we're so glad to have you here! :hug:

Thank You Ellis!

My life was turned upside down a few months ago (when my husband announced he was becoming a truck driver and would be gone 4 weeks at a time!) and so I've spent the past few months trying to better myself...which is what has led me to this point!

And not working, I have the time to reflect, read and think :)

You are so right. It's a disease that finds its way into so many parts of our lives. It's a great awakening. I remember when I first realized that I was free of the guilt and shame of overeating--I had a disease. I wasn't lame, incapable, stupid, or lacking will power. No! I had a disease that I couldn't possibly treat by myself.

Marny, you said it perfectly! I always thought I had little will power... but when I was complaining about my will power my family always told me off all the times I've demonstrated great will power, so I started to wonder what was wrong with me. Now I know!

I can't wait for my copy to get here. I love reading what you all share and I appreciate you being so willing to offer your thoughts and support. Jac, I have been reading through several of your posts and you are asking many of the same questions that I have! I am just so happy to be here! I just really feel like I was sent here for a reason and this may just be the answer I have been looking for for so long.

Water, This site has been an AMAZING resource to me! And when I'm struggling, I just come here and read... sometimes it really helps!

I find so much help and strength here. OA is amazing in that it's a system of people helping other people. Once you figure out something, you share it with others. There is so much honesty and love between people here. I feel truly alive when I'm talking, reading, or listening about OA.

I'm so glad that you guys are here.

Marny,
I can not thank you enough for your help (or kick in the rear) on my journey! I don't think I would have attended that first meeting if it hadn't been for reading your posts!

:-) Aw, shucks.