[Amanda Panda]

Hi!

I wouldn't have said that I am a compulsive eater - but I tick ALOT of the points on the checklist and I do have a real problem with food.

I don't know why, but I have really had to pluck up some courage to post here - I think maybe it touches a raw nerve or something. I post on the 100lb club forum all the time, but it's all a bit deeper here!

11. Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?

- I think this one has hit home ALOT with me. I am aware that I have been dieting since the age of 15, and I am now 31 and the biggest I have ever been.

I know all there is to now about how to lose weight, I can even do it successfully now and again - but i can't seem to sustain my efforts for more than a few weeks. I'm not a binge eater - but I am an emotional overeater and I do eat to try to feed some deep emotional hole within me. Eating is the one thing that gives me pleasure in the short term, and I fight a constant battle to control what I eat. And guess what? I fail big time! This constant cycle of fresh starts and failures is really getting me down - i don't even believe myself anymore, when I say 'this time will be different'.

I have decided that I really need to address my relationship with food, if i am ever going to 'succeed' at losing all my excess weight. We don't really have OA groups here in the UK (they are few and far between), but I am going to look at having some counselling. But I thought I would also try here as i love 3FC and the support that is around here.

I have only shared just some of my thoughts and feelings about myself, my weight and my relationship with food -it is such a messy subject, and i don't want to peel back too many layers right now!

Can you help me? Where do I start?

Love Amanda x

[Samantha2002]

Amanda - you have definitely came to the right place for support! The ladies on 3FC are fantastic.
Based on what you say (I could be way off on this, if so, forgive me) it sounds like when you diet you treat it as if it were a punishment. I did that for a really long time, and found myself miserable. This time I decided to do it different, and instead of thinking like being on a diet is a horrible thing, I treat it like a good thing. I dwell on the fact that I sleep better at night, and that my knees don't hurt anymore. This is a lifestyle change for me, not just a "diet" that I am going on. I have been eating and eating my whole life, and it hasn't made me happier, it has made me fatter. And fatter. And fatter, until I was so unhealthy that I couldn't even walk up the stairs to my apartment without feeling like my chest was going to explode. That's what FOOD did to me.
I know that you can do this, Amanda. We are all here for you.

Sam

[Jennelle]

Hi Amanda!

I'm in a rocky place right now, so I don't feel comfortable giving advice. The only thing I can tell you is Keep Coming Back. It's very non-judgemental and supportive here.

[Sandi]

Hi Amanda!!

I tend to lurk more than post over here, but what you said really hit home with me. Mainly because I could have written it myself word for word. I don't have much advice because I am still looking for my own path, but together I know we can do this.

I think it's great that you posted here. The ladies are great!!

(((HUGS))) Sandi