Ruthless about Recovery
Just now, I had an experience which proves to me that the basic principles of OA work, and that ‘self won’t heal self’ as far as my COE goes.
People have been sharing about holiday tips (I’ve already earmarked some of the great posts here over Thanksgiving as I’ll need them for Christmas).
Had my first seasonal challenging just now in the office.
Out of the blue, a woman dropped in with a gift of a large food item definitely NOT on my food plan as a ‘thank you’ for a tiny favour I had done some time ago. Gosh if only she knew what she was handing me.
I’d been feeling a bit low, and thankfully had shared the negative feelings with my AA sponsor earlier and had gone on to have an ok day.
I thanked the woman, she was gone in a flash, and there was just me and this item, and my disease! I just knew I was completely unsafe. First off, the phone rang and I had to deal with a query. Then one of my colleagues dashed in to borrow my keys.
That gave me a moment’s grace. I picked up the phone to an OA member, could not get through then immediately rang my AA sponsor, (she really gets that I am as POWERLESS over food as I am over alcohol) told her I was in crisis.
Ok so she was calm where I was not. ‘Don’t leave that item in your office. Is there anyone there that you can give them to?’
Of course there was. I put my sponsor on hold for a sec while my colleague walked back in with my keys. I handed him the gift and told him to give them to his wife. He was delighted. My sponsor says he’ll probably tell her he bought it on the way home. I can laugh about it now, but when I saw him walking out the door, I have to be honest, I wanted to run after him and take them back.
So. First word of the first step is ‘WE’. We can do what I cannot. I’m here, still abstinent, sharing with you guys, and my healthy dinner is in the oven. The same dinner that might have been thrown in the bin had I broken out. It really is one day at a time.
So maybe this is how I will get through the holidays. It's ok to be RUTHLESS ABOUT THIS THING THAT MIGHT KILL ME.
I’ll pick up the phone instead of picking up the food. And I’ll keep writing, keep admitting that it’s difficult, keep sharing with you good people and perhaps I’ll stay abstinent.
Good wishes to you all.
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