[searsha]

Hi everybody,

A strange kind of week – my pc kept acting up, and I kept wanting to eat over it! For lots of reasons. My COE can kick in over the most trivial thing like a technology breakdown.
But also, no computer meant no connection to you guys, and I cannot stay ‘happily’ abstinent without it. I missed you all, I can only get one precious f2f meeting per week, and it showed me how much I owe this forum for this wonderful new abstinent way of life. I got through the week but felt I was white-knuckling.

But here’s the thing. It turned out my computer was ok, it was the internet connection in my building was out of synch. So, happily, it got sorted and I was not facing a big bill to get back online – yet even though I had sorely missed reading and writing on this forum, I found myself very lethargic when it came to posting again!!!

Go figure! It’s always been the same with my AA history. My life runs so much better when I’m getting regular meetings. But when I break the pattern, even for vacations or whatever, it sets up a HUGE reluctance in me to go back again. I always do, because I suppose I have enough respect for the power of the addiction in me to know that this is my disease setting me up to relapse.
Wishing you all well,

[marny]

Thanks Searsha-
I need you too. It's good to hear from you.

[kgb]

Its been very quiet on this forum. I have been up and down. I have a major trigger situation over the weekend which I gave in to. A combination of food and trigger people and lack of acceptance of my illness got me back in the food.
I havn't given up, but i can see how the stinky thinking can easily keep me down in the dumps. Its been day two back on track and praying that last weekend will be a big lesson.

My sponsor says I do not put my recovery first and risk playing with fire when I do things to please other people for the sake of being accepted.

[marny]

Hey kgb-

Sounds like you have a great sponsor-- one who is tuned into you, and is willing to be honest with you (without the need to please you :-)

I recommend reading pg. 361 in For Today.

Thanks for sharing. It takes tremendous courage and commitment to program to admit a break in abstinence. You are growing.