Oh Bumps, that is a horrible thing to go through!!
I had to put my 14 year old dog down 3 years ago. He was completely healthy and just started running in circles all day from a quickly growing brain tumour. I was completely devastated for months. My cat was killed by a coyote only 2 months before. I've always been amazingly attached to my pets, as it sounds like you are. Hang in there.
LeAnne