getting someone to "notice"
 

I am dieting in secret, I have not told *anyone* except you anonymous folks here :comp:

I thought my first mini-goal would be 260s (haven't seen them since 2000 :() but I think I just want someone to notice!

In your experience, how much did you need to lose before people you know start to approach you out of the blue to compliment you on your success?

When I lost a bit of weight before it was about 30 pounds before someone at work said "Have you lost weight, I notice it in your face". Even something small like that felt awesome :) Usually it's easier for people who don't see you every day to notice.

i know that ive lost weight, since having a baby in august ive lost 60ish pounds, people at work have made the comment about it which is awesome, i saw my brother in law for the first time in weeks and he noticed, but i ask my boyfriend of 13 years if he noticed and hes like nah not really. and in my head im going bannnas. like seriously ive lost a whole elementary school kid and you dont notice!! finally the other day he was like i can tell in your face that youve lost weight. it is so frustrating! i guess maybe i was really good at tucking it all into my clothes and stuff, and maybe because he loves me for me not my weight but i just want someone to be like OH MY GOD YOUVE LOST 60 POUNDS!!!

my wife was the only person aware of my WOE. She noticed 25lbs-30lbs which was the same time i noticed some changes (was able to use a belt again, little easier to put my soaks on). Started getting comments around 90lbs from everyone else. Yesterday i got a comment out of the blue from a landscaper who does our office complex.

They say people start to notice after you lose 10% of your original weight. Thats 25 pounds for me. Unfortunately no one noticed at 25, but one lady gave me a compliment at 32 and i just got another a couple days ago at 35. :D I have only gotten two people that have SAID they notice, but I believe a lot more people notice but are too afraid/jealous to say anything. Keep going and soon enough EVERYONE will notice :)

after 20lbs body is slightly getting changed. People might notice when its not too "slightly" :) thinking 30lbs?

I think it depends on how large you are when you start. I think I agree with the 10% idea. I have lost almost 20 lbs and maybe 1 person has noticed. Well 1 person has commented... who knows how many people notice but don't want to say anything.

I think it mainly depends what your wearing. If you stay in the bigger clothes people wont notice much. 20 lbs should be noticeable.

Someone figured out I was dieting as I refused some cake. Then asked if I've lost any weight yet. I said yes, 10 lbs. However I think this doesn't really count, someone only noticed I was dieting, not that I lost weight :sigh:

A colleague at work asked me if i was on a diet when i had lost about 20lbs (10 kgs). I am the opposite of all of you who have commented here so far because i hate it when people notice that i've lost weight. It's not actually the "oh, you are thinner!" part that i don't like, but all the atention people seem to give to what i'm eating from that moment on. If i eat cake at a work party, a co-worker who is also trying to lose weight will be all over me asking questions or sharing strategies to burn those calories. If by any chance i go trough a bad phase and stop loosing weight for a while it's almost certain that someone will ask about it too and so on... usually people mean well by doing those things but i feel it puts a lot of pressure on the whole process. Having said that, i do love when my partner notices i've lost weight!

maybe those people who notice but don't say anything would say something eventually. My brother lost 80 lbs, I hadn't seen him for a year and I actually didn't recognize him at first. So I had to say something about it.

that's a good point with the people who always want to give tips. it seems everyone has their own theories about eating right. So I plan to tell everyone that I have not changed what I eat just eating less of it.

Because weight is such a sensitive subject, I'm not surprised that folks at work haven't brought it up. Frankly, I'm glad -- to echo some comments above, it invites too many questions and too much scrutiny. Don't need the pressure. I recently had company and it was impossible to avoid telling my guests that I was dieting which led to one friend attempting to grill me on what I could eat, asking if certain foods were considered dairy or fat, etc. I finally told her I didn't write a darn book, I'm just eating less and walking more ... and then not-so-politely told her to can it.

Personally, as someone whose weight tends to yo-yo, I like people noticing it as long as I'm losing weight. But, afterwards, when I gain weight again, the lack of compliments makes me feel even worse.

It's like -- Now that I've lost weight, I'm "looking good", but as soon as I gain, do I turn ugly then?

So I really don't care anymore about people noticing. I also decided I'd stop caring what others think. Whatever they do, they cannot make me feel worse or better anymore. I'm now losing weight for my health and to feel better myself. Anyone who compliments me for suddenly looking better (as in: prettier) can bite me. If they compliment me about looking healthier, that's when I'll really love 'em.

I'm the only one who should care about how I look. People who love me, should care about my health and nothing else.

I know I won't change human nature. But I can change all the negative humans around me.

People that love me for who I am, will love me regardless of my weight. They will however care about my wellbeing, which includes my health.

Like, take my boyfriend. He has gained quite some weight since we met. I don't even notice it. What I did notice, was last month when he had a doctor's appointment, that his cholesterol was really high.

We're now living healthily ever since, not because I want a thin boyfriend, but because I want the two of us to one day become old and miserable together, instead of dieing of a heartattack at age 55.

And people who care like that about me, can stay around me. Others I don't need.

I find that if people make a comment and tell me I look so nice, I wonder did I really look that bad before? And why is how I look so important to them. Do they like me better when I look good? I think a lot depends on who the person is making the comment. Some people you know are insincere.

I do recall one guy making the comment that it shows that you like yourself enough to take the steps to improve yourself.

I don't think there is any jealousy but I do think you hit the nail on the head when you said afraid. It's dicey business commenting on someone's personal appearance these days. People are overly sensitive, and in the case of work environments, it can be spun as sexual harassment fairly easily.

Me too. It's the scrutiny AFTER they know you're working on yourself that I hate. It is like they judge your every move from then on.

No of course not, but it's much more socially acceptable to say "You look like you've lost weight!" than to say "You look like you got fatter!" But I get what you're saying. It's like they are afraid to compliment you in a larger size. I don't get that, but it seems common.

I used to think that too, but in my case it is true that I do tend to dress nicer and probably try harder and smile more when I am happy with my weight so that is likely what drives it.

I expect relatives (who don't know I'm dieting) to say something first. could be because I'm a guy, but they would not hesitate to say something if they thought I've lost weight. Hasn't happened yet. But my progress is very very slow. It may take until the holidays for anyone to notice and a year to meet my goal.

I don't actually give any credence to people asking/telling me that it looks like I've lost weight.

I hear it fairly regularly when I'm not losing weight (or doing anything that would cause me to carry my weight differently)...so it's lost meaning for me. I assume it's just something people say to be nice, a throwaway compliment.

*I* want to notice that I'm losing weight...really notice without having to look for it in the scale or my measurements. That's what will do it for me. I think the sense of accomplishment and feeling healthy will be what people notice most.

While I like people noticing I've lost weight because I've worked pretty damn hard at it, it's very difficult to accept the compliment because I still haven't learned how to do that yet. The woman who lives in my head is still 291 pounds (if that makes any sense) and I get a little embarrassed yet.

That said, a couple of days ago my boss (who knows what I am doing and has actually adjusted my work schedule by half an hour to allow me my morning exercise classes) said something that made me feel great. He didn't say "hey you've lost weight!" or "wow you're looking great!"...he said he was really proud of what I've accomplished. Now THAT was a compliment I really appreciated. It wasn't about how I looked but more about a recognition of the effort to be better.

I know I may be the only one to say this. But i feel like getting compliments can be a slippery slope, for me at least. A few years back i lost 100 lbs (that i gained back through overeating issues) everyone gave me so many compliments. People noticed me so much that it felt good. I gained the weight back, because i couldnt handle the obsessive calorie counting, and exercising 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. :?:

Now that i am overweight again, people rarely compliment me. Maybe my female family members compliment an outfit every now and then. But it makes me feel like, am i really THAT worthless now? It really struck at my self esteem, that had started to be repaired after years of hating myself.

I think its best to not worry so much what people think about you. The only opinion that matters is yours, and looking great and being healthy for yourself.

Im sorry, this is just something personal for me. Since i was a teen my dad was obsessed with my weight and called me fat, saying it was to "help me". He is not a bad person, just thought he was doing the right thing. Just made me feel like crap. Now as an adult he told me that no man would ever put up with me, because i have my mothers personality. :(

I now, at almost 30 years old, realize that i need to turn a deaf ear to what other people say. Unless its genuine, kind advice. I ignore it. I try not to worry anymore if people notice my appearance. its hard, because im human, and there are times that it hits me. But i am doing better.

Sorry if this doesnt relate to you, but your comment just reminded me a bit of myself. :o:o:o

Superfluous-It depends, the more you have to lose the more weight you need to lose to get noticed...I would say about 20 lbs for people to start noticing, your face shows it first...But you would start noticing it right away, I would say within a week or two because your body will feel more light and active! Good luck to you! :carrot:

Wow! Yes, now that's the best compliment ever! Keep up the good work! :carrot:

:wave: one of my earliest posts on here was just this! I lost 20-25 lbs and was so frustrated no one noticed or that no one complimented me. I did get some good advice and thoughts on here....
1. People you are with daily don't see the changes at first, be it clothing size or a thinner face

2. Sticky subject: people find weight topic taboo. If they say you look good did you lose weight? Weight loss could be from illness not intentional. And what if you didn't lose weight. All very awkward

3. People are people.. And there could be jealousy. One may want to lose also and they aren't. Or. They are jealous you are accomplishing and they feel badly about themselves now. Now your fault, it's their problem.

The "notice" came around 30 pounds. Both work and home. But I think DH and DS still notice less where we see each other every day. Hang in there, eventually one person of the crowd comes forward and gives you the boost. :D

Finally someone did notice and say something. Said I look great, and asked how much weight I have lost. I told her I didn't know, my scale broke, and she laughed. Of course I do know, just wanted to be modest.

Ironic that my first mini-goal was going to be the 260s instead of someone noticing, but the 260s actually came first.

:bravo: That is fantastic!!! Must have felt really good huh? :carrot: Took me almost 40 pounds for people to actually say something, kind of infuriating lol

Hello :wave: my notice weight was 30 pounds too. Now at 45 plus I get a noticing comment almost daily. Some posts similar to this one tell of how getting a comment all the time is tiring, others love it. And I'm in the love it group. It keeps me motivated. I am half way there and can't wait for more thinning comments. Yet on the flip side, I start to wonder " wow how bis WAS I " lol ah well. I'm over the moon on my weight loss so far. Keep it up! The compliments will be a daily thing soon :cloud9:

The first person to notice who did not realize what I was doing happened at 25 pounds. I am a pretty short person (5'3") so I thought it would be much sooner. But it picked up a bit after that!

It's a very personal matter
I went from 340 pounds to like 295 in a relatively short time. Of all people my bus driver compliment Ed the most. It is awkward talking about it to relative strangers or people that Are hardly close friends

Im down 27 pounds. Got another 40-60 to go. Most people don't notice when I gain either. Im tall and I favor loose mens shirts.


Ive always been told that I carried my weight well. Benefits of being curvy. No matter how much I gain Im still proportional. Theres just more of me.


Im retired so I stay casual most of the time. I had a dress up day and wore a shirt that fit me better. Had a few people notice.

It definitely can be clothing related. I've lost over 60 and most people still don't notice EXCEPT when I wear one particular shirt. I get 3 or 4 comments every time I wear that one particular shirt, and basically none with any other clothes. It is a little bit more form fitting, so shows my new shape more than my normal clothes.

I agree. Also that same loose baggy stuff that hides our fat also hides our skinny too. Or at least it did/does for me. Since my shoulder width stays the same I can get away with the same shirts thru a few weight changes. Pants not so much. You can only loop so many rubber bands around your top button and thru the button hole. :D


Not sure if I told you but it wont hurt to tell you again. Great job on the 60 pounds gone.