Thanks so much Nasus and Scooby for your words of encouragement. We met with his counselor today and I let it all out. We are seperating. He is moving out. I don't know when though or for how long.
I'm in tears as I write. I know I did what I had to, but why does it feel so bad? How will we tell the kids...Will they balme me? Should I have left well enough alone?
I wish it were different. He has so many good qualities. But we've been thru about 8 years of therapy and still while some issues got resolved many remained. I don't know if I can ever put all 15 years behind me and move ahead like they didn't happen. Lord knows we have tried harder than anyone to make this work.
I feel I have no one to talk to right now (unbiased) so thank you for being here for me.
(((HUGS))) from here in Michigan. I once ended a marriage, but it did not contain the time you have spent together or the factor of children. For me it was the best thing I could have done.
Dear friend..I ended two marriages and I can only say that it is all right to cry. You will be grieving for quite a long time and that is healthy. You will be fine and the chldren will be too. Don't rush into anything right now...make no major decisions. Sleep on every decision pertaining to the separation. Take everything one-day-at-a-time and don't look to the future. It will take care of itself.
It's good that you can see the good things about your husband. No, he isn't all wrong and neither are you. It just comes a time when you have to move on and build a good life for yourself. God bless!
I feel so badly for you and am glad you feel you can empty your heart in here.
Don't feel you need to get rid of the past 15 years - they had many, many good moments, I'm sure. They helped make you the strong and compassionate woman you are today.
Please continue to hang out with us as you go through this - and you definitely WILL go through this.
Oh Mum, I am so sad for you. I promise there will be brighter days....it seems like the end of the world right at this moment but there is light at the end of the tunnel. How old are your children? Be as supportive as you can and try to always speak highly of their father to them. He may not be your husband anymore but he will always be their father....they will respect you very much for respecting their other parent. He should do the same for you and them. I am glad that we are all here for you. God bless you and your family.
You are among friends. You may not know us if you pass us on the street.....but we will somehow know you.
We are faceless, but we are full of love and compassion. We think of you each and every day. We Pray for one another daily.
I have been where you are. I don't know how to tell you how much I admire and respect you for your honesty in your situation BUT also how much I KNOW THAT WE ARE SINCERELY HERE FOR YOU.
You truly are with faceless friends that care for you and are here with you.
I will say many extra prayers and hope that you will continue to feel comfortable with us.
I don't know how much help I can be but sending compassionate thoughts your way. Those Chicks who advised you to only tell your children good things about your ex are totally right. Trust me, they will find out his not so good qualities on their own in time and will make their own judgments of his character. Hopefully, they will find a balance of love, respect and understanding for both of you.
Try not to blame yourself. Some marriage are just not meant to be and it sounds as if you have really worked at yours.
Be kind to yourself. Take some time for yourself for a bit of pampering. You deserve it and need it.
Good luck to you.
LindaBC
Renee~ You've been in my heart all day. How are you? The kids?
I feel that I said all the wrong things yesterday as I only wanted to assure you that you truly do have us, but I didn't know how to express what I wanted to say. I just wanted to truly give you a hug and let you cry and let it out.
Those 15 yrs helped make you the person you are to day both good days and bad. You seem like a pretty nice one to me.
Hugs to you. Wow fpr being so strong. just remember that we are here for you no matter what. Times are going to be tough ahead but remember why you made your decision in the first place. I am sure that you love your husband and that he loves you, but you may not be meant to live together.
Renee, Sugar, it is hard because first you grieve for all the dreams you had not the life you have endured. Then you grieve for what might have been... and you hurt because you couldn't fix it. The truth is no one can the person with the problem and it takes alot of work plus they get worse before they get better and should not be with anyone during that time. For me I found there was too much water under the bridge to ever go back...and back is the direction I wanted to go. You get used to the nightmare ...you know what to expect. Then the fear of being all on your own but God life is sweet when fears and dread are not a
part of daily life . To not spend time walking on egg shells to come and go as you choose without reprisals. Sure you have hard times just as always in life but it isn't nearly as hard as the life you become accustomed too. I know I've been there. I was happily divorced for 8 years , how this one got me I am still not sure. Kids will understand more than you know when it is explained well they have after all lived in that environment with you. It takes a little time but it is worth it . I am so happy that I had those eight years just for the peace and contentment. The hardships were so much easier than I could have imagined with out an explosive person looking for a reason to blow. God Bless you and remember , Sugar. First you grieve then it gets better....I promise. You are in my prayers.
Pam
It's all out now
How will we tell the kids...Will they balme me? Should I have left well enough alone?
hey there
<<<HUGS>>>
