Tuesday's Tickle....

  • The 3 Bears (does this one sound familiar to us?)

    Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small
    chair at the table, he looks into his small
    bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!",
    he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the big table
    and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big
    bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my
    Porridge?!!,"he roars. Momma Bear puts her head
    through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
    yells, "For Christ's sake, how many times do we have
    to go through this with you idiots? It was
    Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear
    who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear
    who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the
    dishwasher from last night, and put everything
    away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early
    morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma
    Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who
    put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and
    filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that
    you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses
    downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy
    presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this
    one more time.


    I HAVEN'T MADE THE @#$%* PORRIDGE YET !!
  • A typical conversation at my house!

  • Had a similar conversation this morning. "Where's the coffee?"
    ROFLOLPIMP!
  • ROFLMAO!!!!
  • AN ADDED TICKLER...
    Since we are already on the subject of the wisdom of moms, let me add this little ditty I received via email today...

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who went to Iraq? They're all men!
    How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash?
    We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things.
    For cryin' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the
    cupboard and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for
    hidden weapons of mass destruction?

    I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters.
    They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice
    when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on
    your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away.
    By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother
    wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.
    So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on
    electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?

    My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he tried to
    lie to her. She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap!
    Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of
    Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole cottonpickin' summer.
    Inspectors?¦..HUMPH -- RIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTTT!....and pigs fly..
    You want the job done? Call my Mother.
  • jenny - I didn't know we had the same mom?!?!?! OUCH - that wooden spoon hurt!
  • OMG - DH called me at work Monday morning wanting to know where his blue shorts were. How the heck do I know. Did I wear them last or did you?