the same friend who sent me the andy rooney piece on older women sent me this. and the strangest thing is, this friend is a MAN!!!! go figure!!! i don't know where he got it, but he didn't write it.
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of
men & women differ so much. And I never have figured
out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have
figured out why men think with their head (??) and
women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured
out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, thepassion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says, "I don't feel like it,I just want you
to hold me." I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words
that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She
explains that I must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was
her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing is
going to happen that night, so I went to bed.
The very next day the we went shopping at a big
unnamed department store...I walked around while she
tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her to take all
three of them. She then tells me that she wants
matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK.
And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a
set of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but
I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me
when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she
doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this and
you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm
ready to go, let's go to the cash register." I could
hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey.
I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You
should have seen her face ... it went completely
blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to
HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I said, "You
must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime
during the spring thaw.
I needed a laugh...thanks! Liz
