Should I skip the idea of a bikini?
 

So today I tried on a good fitting bikini. It's not the style I would buy (I would not buy a red suit and I would want the bottoms to be more high rise versus mid-rise), but this is the best I can try locally without ordering.

I cannot believe I'm showing myself so atrociously, but what else can I do to get opinions? Now, the shadows on my stomach make it look way worse than it is, but it is lumpy and it is full of stretch marks. It's about the worst photo in the world in all ways - but crappy iphone (3G) and bad lighting don't help.

The size was 34F (34G US size) and size medium bottoms (8-10). My current measurements are 40-31-41.

http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g8...3/IMG_0867.jpg

I think I still look so huge. I don't have rolls, but there's loose skin and more fat, obviously. Oh, and I'm 42 and the stretch marks are from babies - not gaining weight (on the tummy).

Would I be better off getting something like this? http://www.barenecessities.com/panac...SW0530&search=

or this: http://www.barenecessities.com/freya...AS3182&search=

Or a tankini or bikini in this:

http://www.freyalingerie.com/swimwea...olour=paradise

You know I have loose skin too and I weigh around 113 right now at 5'6". I have the stretch marks from kids too. If you feel comfortable then wear it. You show what most women look like. We look like this--not fashion models airbrushed!

If you want a bikini don't give up until you find one. Just have to figure out what will work with your shape. Even when I was heavier I never liked one-piece suits because they inadvertently seem to draw attention to the fact that your uncomfortable.

Because your still losing fat, and you do have a little lose skin, I think you should focus more on finding either a higher waisted bottom (one that pretty much comes to your belly button) or find a form fitting tankini top :) Choosing the right colors and patterns will make all the difference too. But ultimately, if your comfortable then wear it =D because I can guarantee your being harder on yourself then anyone else would, and if your confident you'll be able to rock it =D

i'll be blunt: your stomach isn't airbrushed.

i'll be even blunter: it's not you - that suit is blech!

of your choices, i LOVE LOVE LOVE the first one!

from experience, the second one is okay if you're a catalogue model.

you're right about needing a higher rise for the leg - the way that suit is, it wipes out your hips and exaggerates the thighs. if you could get the first swimsuit with the rise of the second, that would be IT.

what about something like this: http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/swim...e+Swimsuit.jsp

it has the tankini effect but in a one-piece that will give the skin on your tum a bit of support. the bright colour and pattern up top will enhance that fabulous bust.


i like this one, too - i *love* sweetheart necklines. http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/swim...e+Swimsuit.jsp

I agree with the fact that this suit is not the one. I have seen my dad's ex-wife rock a bikini and she weighs so much more than you (or even me for that matter), but she is a super shopper and knew how to pick a suit. She had gastric bypass, so she had loose skin, but with the right suit, it is minimized and camouflaged. I personally can't feel comfortable in a bikini, but if you want to wear one, this one is not it! I agree with the statement of being too low on the leg. A slightly higher cut would make legs look longer, especially with a little higher waist. This would give a fuller look to your hips, as well. This suit just seems a little too not special. It looks kinda like undies and a bra. I also like the purply blue one piece. Show us what you decide to get. I like to see other people's fashion and clothes pics! Happy shopping.

I think the first one is wonderful, but really what it boils down to is what you feel comfortable in. Don't wear something you'll be conscious of every second you're wearing it. Be comfortable about what you're wearing so that you can have fun in it!

That said, I think your body looks great. No one's ever going to be perfect but you've obviously worked really hard to get where you are and it shows. :)

Berry, I think you can ABSOLUTELY wear a bikini! Like you and the others have said, those bottoms aren't doing it for you. I would definitely keep searching for something with a higher rise, and maybe a higher cut on the leg. And I love that patterned bikini, although that bottom looks a little too low-rise also.

I just bought myself a new swimsuit - it came with a plain black skirtini bottom. http://www.ebay.com/itm/New-Figures-...#ht_588wt_1139 It's a bit boobaliscious for my 38DDD's, but I like it. :D

And I LOVE your monkey phone cover! I have a group of girlfriends and we are the "dirty little monkeys", so I now have a thing for monkey stuff.

P.S. I'm loving that tankini top, too. I don't know about you guys but I'd definitely go for that.

http://www.polyvore.com/high_waisted...isted+swimwear

There's one from JCPenny for $25. I'd try something like that one. Don't give up. I have a very hard time finding a good suit. I think you look great, btw....not even anywhere near huge.

My opinion-you don't look huge at all and I wouldn't notice you (not meant to be an insult, I would only notice people at the extreme spectrum of any weight if I even notice them at all! Too worried about my own muffin top lol)
Wear the bikini and a cute coverup. Go to the beach, if you have a deep feeling that you will not feel comfortable, keep the coverup on. If you want to go for it-take it off. Its all about how you feel, likely no one will notice, as we are all freaking out about how WE look in our bikinis!

Go for black-that way you get the underwire support with it looking so much like a bra. Also, get a lower bikini bottom and a string tie might be nice. You can adjust it so that it will fit your bottom without "spillage" and the lower bikini bottom will elongate your torso and make you look slimmer.

http://cdnb.lystit.com/photos/2011/1...0431_full.jpeg

http://www.oldnavy.com/products/res/...ack-jack-2.jpg

But string tie or no, seriously give a low rise a shot. Its kind of like side cut outs in a dress (that don't cut in), seems like it would be unflattering, but no its very slimming.

I like the plunge tankini with a bikini bottom.

i think you probably look much better in person than in the pic .... you have a nice overall shape .... i dont love all red on you though .... if you dont tan nicley you may look like lobster .... and the cut isnt showcasing your body type well you look straight up and down

i feel you would look nice in a printed suit maybe (no flowers - dear god please dont wear flowers if i see one more woman who looks like a boquet on legs i will cry ) ... please do check out the following link

http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/vin...p-couture.html

and a plain red bikini top .... mixing and matching is very IN this year !

I think if you feel fabulous in it you will look fabulous in it, but if it makes you feel self conscious, you won't enjoy wearing it.

Do what makes you feel wonderful and successful and beautiful.
I think it looks pretty darn good on you - but it's how it makes you feel about yourself that is really the issue.

The suit I am trying on is not one I'm considering. It was to see how the top looked and how bad the tummy is. The top fits great, but the bottoms and color are all wrong and I knew that. It made me look square and boxy and didn't cover enough tummy.

I am extremely fair and black is too extreme for me. I look best in blues and greens which is why I linked lighter colors.

The bikini I linked is the right color for my complexion and the bottoms arer a fold over kind. They show it folded over, but I would never wear it that way.

http://www.undiebox.com/freya-swimwe...=2309&w=24&r=Y

I thank all of you for linking other suits, but I am limited to about 3 brands because of my breast size. I'm a US 34g or UK 34F. No regular suit will work. Only brands like Panache, Freya, and Fantasie.

I am still voting for the Freya Tankini top # 3315 and the Bikini bottom # 3315, The top is long enough to cover the midsection but the bottom still has the sexy bikini look. I also like how the top has a more graceful flowing look. With your bust size the bra tops can have an industrial , heavy duty look to them.

Ooh, I didn't realize the bikini bottom could be unfolded up. I LOVE the color and pattern - go for it!

I think you could definitely wear a two-piece. If you're uncomfortable because of the loose skin, find one that comes to just under your belly button. They're out there, you just have to hunt. Definitely agree that red is too harsh with your light complexion and hair. Blues and greens would look better on you.

That being said, you look really good, you've lost a lot of weight and should be proud to show it off in a flattering swimsuit. Just out of curiosity, what does your hubby think? Mine went shopping with me and helped me make my final decision.

Keep us posted as to what you purchase.

oooooooooh-kay, now i'm seeing it!

i totally wasn't looking at the right suit - definitely go with the foldover; it's adorable.

That's what I was thinking. I love retro styled clothing.

You are NOT huge! You are rocking in good shape! Good for you!

To answer original question: Skip the bikini thing. I'm just saying because you asked for honest answers. I wish I had someone to tell me if I should fashion myself otherwise.

But I'm still just sayin': You have a rockin' body! Just unfortunate skin.

Thank you. I do want honesty and I do have the worst skin. I started getting stretch marks with growing. i got them for everything. During my pregnancy, I was still losing weight, but was getting stretch marks. My sister who gained 70 pounds didn't get any stretch marks. Where's the fairness in that?

I do workout - I lift weights 2 times a week (about to up it to 3 times a week) and do cardio 2-3 times a week, but I have stretch marks and loose skin issues. Those are my battle scars, right? If after all is said and done and I live healthily ever after, bad skin is the least of my worries.

i love the pattern. the fold over bottoms are cute, but have you seen what they look like folded up? and are you sure its meant to be worn that way if you choose? it might look weird is all. at the very least, the plunge tankini top is cute.

Yes, that is the whole point - it allows lots of different coverage. Nearly every maker of bikinis out there make this version so you can see it on lots of suits online - just not (yet) of this suit in particular. So, I can get an idea of what it looks like.

I just ordered a tankini and bottoms from figleaves by fantasie for way cheaper than the US price and then got the bikini top and a different bottom in the US store (they were out of my size on figleaves) - just in case I want to try it.

Its' this: http://www.turnbullslingerie.co.uk/s...id=1138&dept=2

and this:

http://www.lindasonline.com/fantasie...2-cayenne.html

The pinks and oranges and navy blues are another good color combo for me and matches my coverups I already have. Notice the folded up bikini bottom in this second link. This is how it looks folded down and up. Scroll through all the photos on the left and you'll see the "up" and down". They also show the 'catwalk" if you press the tab under the picture in the middle.

http://www.simplybeach.com/products/...f-Cayenne.aspx

:carrot: I'm glad you found a bikini you can be happy with. My stomach could be your stomach's twin, especially when I'm a bit lighter than I am currently. For me, it's the scars of 5 pregnancies, including one 9lb4oz baby. :)

I only had two full term pregnancies - but my first baby was 10 lbs 9 ozs and 22 inches and my second was 11 lbs 14 ozs and 22 inches. AND with my second I had extra water and a large placenta. I got more stretch marks the second go around - all the ones above the belly button.

don't even talk to me about stretch marks - mine make me look like i'm wearing striped boy shorts.

my first pregnancy, i gained 85lbs, went from 125 to 210. she was born at 45wks, 8lb 14oz, 23-3/4" long.

with my second, i only gained 65lbs and i was 155 to start so i figured no problem with the stretch marks. not so! she was induced at 36wks, weighing 8lb 3oz, 17" long.

with my third, i gained 40lbs - that's it! she was induced at 39wks - she was 7lb 10oz and was 21" long - and i got the worst stretch marks of all!

go figure.

there is no rhyme or reasoning with them and all the lotions, potions, and massaging in the world doesn't do a darn bit of good.

re:
 

I think that was an excellent idea ordering both the tankini and bikini top.

Right now in your weight loss/reshaping your best features appear to be your top and your legs. You have really nice shoulders and even though you think your chest is huge, a good fitting swim top can make you look fantastic. I think the tankini at this point may do that.

I've seen people with the same tummy as you at the pool in bikinis, and I don't think people really care what other people wear - especially at our age, so I'm sure you'd be just fine in the bikini top too. It's up to you on what YOU feel comfortable in.

It looks like a nice bikini. I think you'll do well with the fold-up bottoms. And I am sure the hubby will appreciate the view from other angles. ;) Rock what you've got Mama. We only live once.

I think once you get your tan going, those stretchmarks are going to be less noticeable. If you are concerned, maybe do a self tanner at home before you go. By the time a self-tanner fades, you should have some natural glow from the sun.

When I stand in the mirror to check how my bod is shaping up, it's always my tummy I zoom in on too. My dh on the other hand, only stares at my boobs and butt, couldn't care less about a stretchmarks and some belly fat....just thought that might give you some perspective about what areas the eyes (at least guy's eyes) are naturally drawn towards when less clothing is worn. Accentuate the positive, right? ;)

I hope you have a great time on your vacation!

When the suits arrive, I'll take photos in better lighting, with a better camera with a better setting period. I still have a couple months to work on more toning and weight loss before the season opens at the pool. And I might wait until vacation for the bikini - bikinis are more common there for women of all ages and sizes than here. Which is part of the reason I wanted to get it. They are much less into the "your body has to be perfect to wear a bikini" there than here - at least on the Croatian coast.

THough, few women are fat - but saggy skin, stretch marks, older women - they all wear bikinis and men of all sizes and ages wear speedos. It's a different culture. Fatness isn't really acceptable, but aging and body flaws are.

In my opinion your body looks really toned, except for your belly, but that's normal considering you have children. I may be in minority here, but I love how that red color looks an you. I have stretch marks too, and I'm only 25 and never had a baby. Aging is a natural process, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, I would rock a bikini if I were you without any problem. It's your holiday, you should be enjoying the sun and relaxing, don't worry about anything else. You look great! I also liked the Freya bathing suit you linked here, I would get for myself, but unfortunately I don't think it fits my body shape.

I've been looking for foldover bikinis. After 2 kids and 1 c-section, I got loose skin that will never ever go away (short of surgery). I think the foldover bikini bottoms are a great idea for women who may want to show off some skin but also want to conceal a few little things.

Yes, that is a weird cultural thing here in the states. It's all youth and beauty oriented, marketing, marketing, marketing. If you don't look perfect, you should be buying this product so you do and then you can live your life the way you want. That line of thinking has been so bad for our society, sucking the joy and potential out of people's lives. Life wasn't meant to be photoshopped. Besides, sometimes age does the body good and that's a stage I wouldn't want to miss out on. ;)

I have noticed, it's also like that with sports. Why do people in the states think that sports are only for the youth? Why do so many people look up from their coffee and coffee cake to say "it's so great they still play tennis at 50"? :?: Why shouldn't they still be active? I must have missed the memo but I don't intend to retire to my rocking chair until I can't get around anymore. I hope to always be active and participating in life.

Live now and live well. :)

Sorry for the hijacking of you thread.....

I have horrible skin, too. But in another way. Lots of moles and skin tags, plus psoriasis, which is totally unseen and controlled, but still exists. Ugh.

With the attitude you have of Battle scars, and where you're at in Croatia (?) GO FOR IT! Heck, more of us should have your attitude.

So I guess I am formally retracting my original advice to forgo the bikini.

Rock it out, sister.

I'm in Maryland in the states, but my husband (and mother in law) are from Croatia. We go every few years. This trip we will be going to Dubrovnik, the island Mljet and along the coast near Vodice and Zadar and then end in Zagreb (where my husband is from).

Here's info about Mljet - it's a national park. My husband's family has friends who own one of the few houses on the island. We will stay there for 8 days:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mljet

And see, this old woman is wearing a bikini in Croatia:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jorimzzz/6092332876/

And more:
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/1280850

Typical beach in Croatia: Rocky and all sorts of people. The young are BEAUTIFUL - some of the most beautiful people in the world, but all ages enjoy the beaches as you can see:

http://www.google.com/imgres?start=2...429,r:21,s:204

So basically my thoughts are - for the local pool here at home, I'll wear the tankini. When I go to Croatia I'll maybe break out the bikini.

I totally just saw this on etsy... you could get one made!!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/95756858...=fp_treasury_7

More with Etsy (I just love that site)... Have you thought of something like this? It hides or reveals as much as you want, and you can wear it like a tankini at the pool or bikini at the beach without haveing to buy 2 seperate suits.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/85508779...p-bathing-suit

Thanks gals for thinking about me. I actually did a search on Etsy, but I'm hestiant for several reasons. First, is the material right and second, how is the elastic? The move of the fabric. I will be swimming, not just sitting around trying to look cute. And thirdly, I think I would feel more self conscious in a 'different' suit than a standard suit. I would feel like it's obvious I'm trying to hide something with such a high waist bottom.

Hi Berry :wave: :D


Ok, so I'm 48 years old, 5ft 3 1/2in and currently 153 - but I've never had children or gotten stretch marks...

Personally, I'm hip for a tankini - they're versatile & cover what I want to cover without looking too dowdy or age-istic. Two major things to consider: with your breast size, a bikini just ain't cool with the support! - YOU NEED THE SUPPORT WOMAN! - A tankini can act more as a support than a simple bikini top could ever hope to. Also, your stomach area will never be "bikini-istic " no matter how much weight you lose. Only surgery can help your problem area there.

Tankinis are better than one-piece suits because you CAN get the stomach coverage and you don't have to get crazy to go to the bathroom. :dizzy: Maybe a minor thought for you, but OMG how I HATE to go to the bathroom when I'm wearing a one-piece! It's **** getting it on/off if it's the tiniest bit damp. ACk!

Also, tankinis are very (what I call) "age appropriate". I can wear a bikini - even at 153 lb. I choose NOT TO. I'm not 25 anymore. I'm not 38 anymore. I'm 48. I'm not ashamed of it, but I see no reason to try to "look younger" when it's clear that I'm not.

You have done AN AMAZING JOB losing the weight. I know you're not at goal yet, but you'll get there!! But I think if you wear a bikini you'll be self-conscious all the while. What's the fun in that? Wouldn't you rather wear something that is totally complementary to your body/age/style than to worry about whatever body part you're unhappy with? I'm not saying that a 42yo (or 50yo or 65yo, whatever) can't wear a bikini. Obviously you can wear whateverthellfire you wanna wear! And if you WANT to wear a bikini, then wear it! - regardless of what anyone thinks or says! -but then, you wouldn't have come here for our opinions, right?

And I did like that tankini you ordered. I think you'll look great in it! Good color, good coverage, good everything! :carrot: