Do you still blend in the crowd or like to stand out?
I just went clothes shopping yesterday and found myself buying things I would have never bought before (not revealing, but edgier and different). I just tried to blend in before, and now I'm finding I want to stand out. I think I have a funky (in a good way ) style now, whereas I used to just be a t-shirt and jeans kind of gal (that's all that fit anyway). I'm doing interesting color combos and trying all different sorts of things. I noticed I get a lot more looks in my direction when I'm wearing my unique clothing choices. I'm kind of getting into, "I don't care what you think, I LIKE this" mode, because my mom hated what I had on today, and I went and changed, and then was like, "so what" and I changed back.
I thought I would always like to be the one blending in, but it's slowly changing. I didn't think it would. It makes me feel a bit narcissistic. What about you girls? Do you like to stand out now (or even before) or do you just prefer to blend in with everyone else?
I like to stand out a little now. Before, I wanted to just blend in. I used to always wear dark colors. Now I like the bright yellows, reds, greens and such. Love to wear white after years of wearing black.
I know I'm in the minority around here, but I liked to be comfortable before and like to be comfortable now. Outside of work, I'm in jeans, sweats, shorts, T-shirts, and workout/triathlon clothing. The only change from then to now is the addition of the workout clothing and I probably wear shorts more often. (I do dress appropriately for work, special events, etc.) I also don't wear any makeup and have a wash-n-go hair style. I really didn't care what people thought about how I dressed then, and still pretty much don't.
Apparently I'm making up for it with my DD because she is better dressed than most Barbie dolls. I seem to care a lot about that for some reason. Go figure.
I'm like Anne, I spend most of my non-working hours in workout clothes!
However when I go out shopping or meet my friends, I'm more likely to put on a pretty frock or a skirt. I try not to wear jeans so much when I'm just out and about.
And I have just recently started wearing shorts to run/workout in!
I do like to stand out from the crowd, but I don't like to be stared at! F'rinstance yesterday I was wearing a grey jersey dress, which was just average I think, but a LOT of men were staring at me ICK! I hate that, but I felt nice and pretty in my frock, and when I'm with DF it doesn't bother me so much!
I've gone through several different stages, one of which resulted in a screaming match on this board with another member calling me a tramp (she's not here any more ) I used to dress to hide. Then I went through a "if you've got it, flaunt it" stage. I don't think it was ever trampy, but very different from my previous baggy everything. Now I like to dress fashionably, in clothes that fit. In reality, I'm almost always in gym clothes, tho. I experiment a lot more with different styles and colors, and actually wore a two piece bathing suit for the first time in 25 years a few weeks ago. Mind you, that was 1000 miles from home where NO ONE would recognize me!
I think as we get used to our new bodies, it's a bit like going through adolescence again. We need to figure out who we really are now that the fat covering is gone. Some of us never went through that as teenagers since we were either fat then, or grew up in the jeans and t-shirt anti-fashion years.
I just wish I had somewher to go to wear clothes other than my gym trainer's shirt!
At my age, very few people stare. If they do, it's probably because I'm just about the only normal (???) sized, in-shape 51 year old woman around. After years of being invisible, I don't really care. Most of the people staring aren't worth looking back at.
I do like experimenting with clothes far more now. I actually pay attention to what I'm wearing and like shopping, rather than just reaching for something that fits and wearing it til it wears out. It also helps that I've been going through sizes fairly fast (although I've slowed down now) which I saw as a perfect opportunity to buy cheap stuff that might be fashionable for a few months - because by the time it goes out of style it won't fit anyway!
I figure that I've worked so hard to get this body I might as well have fun with it.
I'm not young so I have to watch the tramp thing too
I certainly wear more mod things than I used to. I wear fitted things and low rise jeans but OFTEN have a hip skimming jacket of some sort with me. But NOT butt covering wide tunic things!
I'm wearing a tank and capris to go run errands this morning.
Mark me down as another who is "experimenting" with styles and colors. When I was heavy, I wore almost nothing but black hooded sweatshirts and long jean skirts (I hated the way pants looked on me, but I couldn't wear short skirts). Now I am trying all sorts of different colors/styles/brands, in search of my own personal "style," long lost to me. I LOVE the fact that I can shop in thrift stores, because it's a much less risky way to experiment with clothes I normally wouldn't wear (this weekend I found the *coolest* bright pink, beaded Betsey Johnson skirt for four bucks in a Salvation Army!).
Oh, and let's not forget accessories! When I was heavy, I stopped wearing jewelry altogether, but I am an [inexpensive] accessories FIEND now -- cute little hats, brightly-colored earrings, necklaces, rings. Before I just wanted to hide.
Great thread idea. I like the "teenager" analogy, because, while many things stay the same, so much of our identities tend to be tied up in our size. I still feel like I'm trying to figure out who "the thin me" is....
When I was heavy, I wore the same loose fit size 18 Eddie Bauer jeans nearly every day for 4 years. I didn't want to buy any other jeans in that size because I was sure being a size 18 was just temporary. I wore long tunic sweaters usually. I didn't do anything with my hair (air-dried frizzy curls), didn't wear make up, didn't wear any jewelry besides a watch. I shopped at Eddie Bauer and J. Jill almost exclusively, because the sizes went up to XXL and I could order online and not have to face the trauma of those funky lights in dressing rooms.
When I first lost weight, I kind of stayed in the Eddie Bauer/J. Jill safe zone. I had always wanted to wear buttoned down shirts TUCKED IN with a pretty, unbuttoned cardigan, so I have quite a few outfits like that (wore one yesterday, heh). My best friend is a fashionista and she is encouraging me to actually go into OTHER stores in the mall.
I am so used to nothing looking good on me that it is hard to try on clothing sometimes. I'll see something on the rack and automatically think "that would look good on other people, not on me." I still don't really like clothes that are "fitted." To me, if I can feel the clothes, they are tight, so trying to get used to clothes that actually fit is a bit of a challenge.
My current favorite hobby is to go to the big Ann Taylor store at the mall and grab 4-5 size 6 dresses and try them all on. Usually, they always look nice and I am always amazed.
I'm a bit low on funds right now, so I've had to cut back all the shopping (last summer was pricey, since I had to replace an entire winter/summer wardrobe). If I had more money, I'm sure I would be shopping more. I've recently found the White/Black store and I have a couple of really cute, trendy things from there.
Still, I dress to fit in right now, still a little "school-teacherish." I am still shy about exposing skin, low cut or sleeveless is not an option for me yet. I haven't really tackled jewelry yet, although I drool over the Sundance catalog regularly.
Like a lot of you, I used to dress for camoflauge and to be invisible (as if! ) My standard uniform was black pants (cuz black is slimming, don't ya know?) and a big shirt worn open over a T-shirt to cover the butt. No makeup, hair air dried, no nail polish - you all know what I'm talking about.
I bought very few things as I was losing, so once I got to goal, I had no clothes AND I was clueless about what to buy. My first instinct was to buy the same clothes that I used to wear in a smaller size - I didn't even think about it, just did it reflexively. It took me a while to look in the mirror and SEE that I didn't look very good in big, baggy clothes (I looked like a little kid playing dress-up in her mom's clothes).
(As an aside, I spent a lot of time staring at myself in dressing room mirrors, just trying to figure out who I was. Not as a vanity thing, but because I literally didn't recognize myself anymore.)
So then I went through the 'try on everything and buy way, way too much' stage (which is why I now have plastic storage boxes of sweaters under my bed ). I never went 'revealing' but definitely got away from hiding behind clothes. I don't mind standing out as long as I'm not screaming for attention. Most of the time, I think I stand out just because I'm a normal weight and in-shape and in my peer group (age 51) that's a rarity.
Though, honestly, just having defined arms and shoulders when you're 51 can sometimes seem like standing out too much - I'm sure Mel knows what I'm talking about! I sure don't have 'PTA Mom' arms and sometimes feel self-conscious when I'm in a room full of ... PTA moms with flapping triceps. Like Mel said, it's really weird finding yourself as the smallest, most in-shape woman at an event, especially if your usual modus operandi used to be to check out the room to be sure you weren't the LARGEST woman there!
Yep, it's been an evolution (and continues to be). I've become a lot more secure in MY sense of style and now can turn down something if it isn't exactly right. I've made a rule that I have to love, love, love something before I buy it (even if it's on sale!) What an improvement over buying something just because it fit!
Jennifer, you look so sophisticated and 'New York' to me! Love the hat!
I wanted to add that there are three articles of clothing that I will never wear again:
No elastic waist pants, except for gym pants
No granny undies
No big Tshirts to cover my butt
What's on your list?
Meg, I still have a lot of "stored energy" to use up but all three of your things were put on my list a few weeks ago. The big T shirt was the hardest to give up but I did it. I feel so much more comfortable in smaller shirts even if my butt and stomach stick out a little (no flesh showing.. )
You can add these other things to my list:
* anything that doesn't feel comfortable. I don't care if it fits.. if I don't like it it is gone. I'll just do laundry more often if I get low on stuff.
* anything that obviously needs to be repaired or is stained (unless they are yard work clothes) Yes.. I have been known to wear a shirt that has a small stain on it . . after all I'd say.. who really can see it but me. Now I realize that even if it is just me, that is one person too many that knows I dress like a slob and don't care to take care of me.
* anything and everything that I don't really like. I'm not wearing something just because I have it in my closet and it fits. I don't care who gave it to me or how much I paid for it in an insane moment.
* oversized denim "teacher dresses" ... I gave them all away to a very grateful and excited friend. I don't know what possessed me to wear them.
* Men's jeans.. yes.. I used to buy these... don't ask me why... I don't know why.
No makeup, hair air dried, no nail polish - you all know what I'm talking about.
Hey I'm still in this phase!!! I've only been out in makeup twice since starting my journey!! It may not be a phase, I may always do this
Another thing I would do all the time is wear a windbreaker over EVERYTHING literally 10 months out of the year. I didn't care how much I was sweating, it was just comforting to me. I actually have it on in my "Before" picture (and that was taken in April in NEW ORLEANS!!!) I only stopped wearing it when the temperature climbed over 90.
So I'm officially saying, I'm never doing THAT again.
And ditto on the grannie undies too. But I still haven't gotten brave enough to buy a thong . . .
I forgot about accessories!! The only thing I've bought so far are earrings and I started wearing a watch (I never wore one before because they were always so tight my fat squashed over them). I've been trying different things with my hair too.
I shop at thrift stores too, in fact I just bought my first dress EVER. I haven't worn a dress literally since Kindergarten. Even for weddings and funerals, I would wear a skirt, but never a dress. And it was BRAND NEW with tags and I got it for $4!!!! And it's a size 12 and fits perfectly although I wear a 14 in pants. I've got to dye one of my shrugs to go with it because it's sleeveless and I have a disgusting amount of hanging skin on my arms.
Someone has GOT to take my credit card away from me!!! I've spent over $160 on new clothes/shoes in the past 3 days It's addicitve, and I'm not even at my goal weight yet, but I'm thinking my new clothes (some are actually a bit snug) will still fit nicely at/near my goal weight.
Anyone else buy clothes that they anticipating fitting soon? I've done this quite a few times. I bought a shirt at Maurice's today that doesn't QUITE fit, but will fit great in 10 pounds.
Do you still blend in the crowd or like to stand out?
) style now, whereas I used to just be a t-shirt and jeans kind of gal (that's all that fit anyway). I'm doing interesting color combos and trying all different sorts of things. I noticed I get a lot more looks in my direction when I'm wearing my unique clothing choices. I'm kind of getting into, "I don't care what you think, I LIKE this" mode, because my mom hated what I had on today, and I went and changed, and then was like, "so what" and I changed back. 
Bless your barbie girl! 
) I used to dress to hide. Then I went through a "if you've got it, flaunt it" stage. I don't think it was ever trampy, but very different from my previous baggy everything. Now I like to dress fashionably, in clothes that fit. In reality, I'm almost always in gym clothes, tho. I experiment a lot more with different styles and colors, and actually wore a two piece bathing suit for the first time in 25 years a few weeks ago. Mind you, that was 1000 miles from home where NO ONE would recognize me!
I'm not young so I have to watch the tramp thing too 
to use up but all three of your things were put on my list a few weeks ago. The big T shirt was the hardest to give up but I did it. I feel so much more comfortable in smaller shirts even if my butt and stomach stick out a little (no flesh showing.. 
)