I HIGHLY recommend that you all check out Krista Smash's lastest Rant of the Month: Who Are You?. It's a discussion about self-identity and how we relate to our bodies.
I'll bet that we can all see ourselves in this paragraph:
Quote:
People starting a fitness and nutrition plan after a long period of sedentary living often have to cope with several issues that go well beyond losing a few pounds or eating more carrots. For example, they may actually be a player in a family or social psychodrama that depends on them being a stable identity, such as "the fat kid". Once change is initiated, family and friends may respond negatively to this disruption in interpersonal order. This response can range from passive aggressive negativity ("Aren't you getting a little obsessed with all that exercise stuff?") to outright sabotage ("Here, I baked you another tray of butter-iced brownies"). Or, the person themselves may have constructed an elaborate identity and justification for being "the fat kid" or "the person who is smart and thus is sooo above having to care about appearance" or "the person who is a bookworm and hates to associate with jocks" or "the person who has no self control" or "the person who isn't sexually attractive to other people" and so forth. When change occurs, the person unexpectedly has to confront these other issues. S/he may be unprepared and may backslide, reverting to the comfort of familiar surroundings, relationship dynamics, and behaviours. Screwups are often taken as reinforcing evidence that no change is possible, rather than as temporary setbacks.
Of course I had to chuckle at the bit about being 'obsessed' with exercise in light of our recent thread about obsession!
And she concludes by saying:
Quote:
... we need to develop a strong core - and I'm not talking about Pilates or jumping on vinyl balls. We need to develop, maintain, and care for a strong sense of internal self. Fitness is part of this project because it helps us test and surpass our limits. It teaches us skill and confidence, and it forces us to meet challenges. If we stick to it through difficulty, then we are rewarded in ways that are often hard to see.
I couldn't agree more about how fitness - learning to use and take care of our bodies - makes us strong in all areas of our lives.
Some of you may recall that a year or so ago, we had a Men's Forum here at 3FC. I saved a post that I wrote there in response to a question that I don't even remember ... but I saved it because it turned out to come straight from my heart and I didn't want to lose the words once they were down on paper. It seems particularly apropos now in connection with Krista's essay, so I'll share my story of how a sedentary woman (we're talking couch potato) who had been overweight or obese her whole life learned to love weightlifting.
Here goes:
When I walked into a gym for the first time in my life at age 46 and 257 pounds, I was beaten down by all my years of failing at weight loss. I never gave up trying but each failure was killing my spirit a little further. Realizing that I was beyond clueless at what to do in the gym, I was fortunate enough to meet a personal trainer who taught me everything that I know today about nutrition, cardio, and lifting weights. But the true gift that he gave me — by teaching me how to lift weights — was the knowledge that I had the strength within me to succeed at weight loss.
What’s the connection between lifting weights and losing weight (besides building muscle)? You see, I always thought that I was a wimp — that I was physically and psychologically weak and weak-willed (after all, I was fat, wasn’t I?) Weightlifting showed me that I was physically strong (when you’ve been obese for most of your life, you build some strong bones and muscles by just hauling yourself around!) As I kept working in the gym, it was so cool to have baby muscles start sprouting under all the fat — I’d lie in bed at night and feel at these strange changes in my body (and it was fun to discover bones too — ribs! collarbones! hipbones! ). And it’s a cliché, I know, but being strong is a very empowering feeling.
But far more important than the physical changes, weightlifting showed me that I was mentally tough and could persevere. That I could pick a goal and achieve it. That I could push myself far, far harder than I ever had imagined. That I was capable of so much more than I thought. That I could push through discomfort and even pain and end up floating high as a kite on the other side. It’s hard to put the feeling into words but it’s the best feeling in the world. And I’ll bet any of you who lift weights know exactly what I mean.
I guess the bottom line is that I learned that the power to change my life lies within me. I had the strength to do what it took to lose the weight all along, though I didn’t realize it. Most of weight loss is head stuff, not the nuts and bolts of what to eat etc. You have to believe that you can do it — that you're the one making the decisions and choices. Weightlifting has shown me that I don’t have to take the easy road that most of the world does — it’s so much more rewarding to be physically and mentally strong.
And that’s why I’m the goofy 49-year old mom in the gym with dumbbells in her hands and a big old smile on her face.
What perfect timing! I had a similar experience yesterday but hadn't given it much thought. Now I realize just how big a deal it was.
I have always wanted to be a runner but I've never been able to stick with a program. It was just too hard. Then, after a knee injury in college, it was just too painful. Well, since losing this weight I am attemting to run again and I've gotten further than I ever have before. Yesterday, we took the kids to the park. I threw on my headphones and hit the trail. I finished the first mile and realize that I wasn't any more tired or winded than I used to be when I WALKED a mile. So, I kept going. I finished the second mile and had to stop to check on the kids but I knew that I would have been able to finish at least one more. It felt great. But, I didn't think much about what I had just accomplished. My mind was racing with all of the other things I wanted to do. As I was making my way back to the park I was thinking that I'd pull out my tennis raquet and sign up for the fall league. I was wondering where my old rollerblades were. I was seriously considering starting my own business - something I've always kicked around but never done. All kinds of things.
It didn't really occur to me until reading your posts that the first time I ran just half a mile I was amazed. I couldn't stop thinking, "I can't believe I just did that." My progress doesn't surprise me anymore. I KNOW I can do it - I KNOW I can do ANYTHING.
Improving my fitness level has changed my entire outlook and given me confidence that I've never had before. I used to approach everything with worry, expecting something to go wrong. Now, I face new things with the attitude of "what is the worst that could happen?" I attribute some of that to my weight loss. Mostly, though, I believe it is the result of pushing myself physically. It is what has taught me that I am just as strong mentally and emotionally.
I just had an AH HA moment... Two weeks ago during my swimming class where we do, I feel, like 150,000 laps in a hour, I can't even do 1.5 without stopping to take a breather, I was discouraged that after 6 weeks of doing the same thing over and over again, I still could not get it... BUT last week I did 2 full laps without stopping , WOOHOO I thought, "I" CAN do it, I CAN!! So this week I am looking forward to getting into that pool again... The same with running tonight I ran really really well and thought "geez if I didn't have to rush home to make supper I'd continue"... I never thought when I started running that I would run a 5 or 10k easily... I never ever thought I would even THINK of doing a triathlon either ... And before last week I was sure I wasn't going to do that triathlong because it seemed that I wasn't improving with my swimming, but now I'm feeling it, "it" being the strength that I CAN.
Oh, I just remembered something that is totally awesome... Last week I gave blood, the nice young man took my blood pressure and heart rate... BP, good, I knew that... HR very low 48, the young man said "You must exercise a lot", I modestly said: "A little..." He wrote something on the form beside my HR... He had to leave the cubicle for a minute so I peeked at what he wrote, he had written: "Donor - athletic" ... MOI ... ATHLETIC!!! I was totally flabergasted, but totally flattered ... I have never considered myself an athlete!
Being physically fit IS definitely empowering and fun
Meg, jawsmom, Ilene - thanks for the inspiring posts.
It is all a minds game.
After reading Megs post about how she at 46 transformed her life I am even more resolved to overcome my present crisis. I am 46, and I hope that at 49 I too wil be able to say here I am, fit, and with a happy smile on my face.
Meg, right on time as usual! Ilene and jawsmom - great experiences for you!
For me personally was a buddy-up system with coworker to go to the 20-20-20 class. She invited me really trying to show a "looser" that it can be done. I was a bit afraid that I won't be able to do the class, but after first 10 min of step I actually had to highup my step and had to jump, as I was not even sweating... My friend was laying down on the floor after about 40 min into the class, I finished with no problems. I figure out, about 2 years ago I would not be even able to do half of this class...
Another example was this weekend when I finished my 8K part of relay during bad asthma attack. I could have taken a ride in the ambulance, but I finished nevertheless, and my time wwas only 10 min longer than expected (I even vaguely remember that I ran towards the finish line). While my coworker on the finish line said that I was not pale, i was yellow when I finished, I still could finish it which is amazing in itself.
And the last part, not the least though - I personally am proud that I can actually hike with backpack... As silly as it might sound, I was never able to hike with backpack in my life. Lifting weights helped me to understand that it is possible, and I usually hike with backpack full of snacks, lunches and about 2l or more of water for the family. Sometimes I also carry my 4.5 y.o. daughter in addition to backpack.
Yep, we are hard cored weight lifting ladies, aren't we?
Recommended Reading: Self-Identity
My Take On Self-Identity And Fitness
, WOOHOO I thought, "I" CAN do it, I CAN!! So this week I am looking forward to getting into that pool again... The same with running tonight I ran really really well and thought "geez if I didn't have to rush home to make supper I'd continue"... I never thought when I started running that I would run a 5 or 10k easily... I never ever thought I would even THINK of doing a triathlon either 
... And before last week I was sure I wasn't going to do that triathlong because it seemed that I wasn't improving with my swimming, but now I'm feeling it, "it" being the strength that I CAN. 
MOI ... ATHLETIC!!! I was totally flabergasted, but totally flattered 
