[Sheila53]

While I'm 20 lbs. away from my goal weight, and have been on this journey for almost three years, the one thing that I still struggle with is falling back into old eating patterns during times of stress.

It's hard to undo over 40 years of looking to food to comfort me. If anyone has this problem, what did you do to overcome it? For me, planning has been one of the keys to losing and keeping off weight. But when stressful situations occur, and they always do, all my careful planning goes out the window. The latest incident was my father getting into a car accident. We had to throw clothes in a bag, arrange for pet care, and drive four hours to the hospital where I was with him almost 10 hours a day. I got tired, I was out of my routine, I was worried, and I just wanted to eat. I found myself with a dollar in my hand staring at the candy vending machines. I didn't put the money in, though. But I did overeat at just about every meal. I never eat dessert, but I found myself ordering dessert, eating it all, and having a glass of wine, too. Pretty much all I could think about was what I was going to eat at my next meal, and that's pretty sad.

I guess when I look at it, I've gotten a bit better about handling stress (not putting the money in the vending machine was a big step!), but I want to quit turning to food for comfort. Any suggestions?

[Elanajel]

One thing that really helped me with emotional eating is keeping a journal--actually 2 of them. One is my WW food/activity log and the other is a thoughts/feelings journal. Trying to stay in close touch with how I am feeling has helped me control my eating. Also, knowing what are my "trigger situations" (i.e., getting home at end of day extremely hungry, arguing with my son, etc.) makes me more aware of pitfalls.

Hope for a smooth recovery for your father.

[4rabbit]

Hi,

What helps me is to "step out" of the stress situation and view it like from outside. To say to myself "this is a stress situation, I feel scared". In this way I distance myself and this makes it possible not to follow my gut reaction (food!) but to do something different, like calming myself down, concentrate on good breathing etc.

I got the idea from the books of Kabat-Zin on mindfullness. For me, detatching from the actual situation and NOT follow gut reaction is very helpfull.

Also, what I do when under severe stress is take it 5 minutes at a time. I assess the situation, Usually I think: "These 5 minutes are OK, I can handle them". And if not,I detatch.


Good luck, and all the best for your fathers recovery,

rabbit

[Airegrrrl]

Dear Sheila,

I hope by the time you read this that your dad is well on the road to recovery. It sounds like a dreadful time, and I can only imagine how frightening it was.

You raised a powerful question, and I wanted to take some time to respond, just as others did when I raised the same question back in June. Their answers then literally saved my life, which I’ll explain in a moment.

First, go here to see what I wrote:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...786#post880786

And then follow the replies.

I took Jan’s advice (Jan, I can never thank you enough!), and went out and bought a copy of “Full Catastrophe Living.” Actually, I should say that I bought my second copy. I’d read it years ago, probably when it first came out, but I just wasn’t ready then. I eventually loaned it to someone, and forgot about it.

This time, I read my way straight through it. I highlighted some sections; put stars in others; underlined still others.

I felt a real sense of urgency to come to grips with what was happening to me, because I felt like I was going to explode. Pressures assaulted me from every side, and I felt like I was under siege. I crawled through the day; ate badly; did not exercise; and went through fibroymalgia flares that were almost intolerable.

What was so ironic … so pathetic … so debilitating … is that I felt personally responsible for things that were so far beyond my control that it was laughable. And I couldn’t see it. I was totally caught up in the maelstrom of the moment that I lost all perspective; all judgment; all equilibrium.

What Jon Kabat-Zinn gave back to me was, as Rabbit says, the ability to detach. To step back. To take the time to breathe. When I did that, I actually enjoyed a moment of mental clarity, and in that moment I got my first glimpses of what I was up against, and what I was doing to myself.

I also recognized that a) I was stressed (which I had been denying, for some unfathomable reason) and b) I was letting that stress take a terrible terrible toll on my body.

Never again will I allow that to happen.

It’s funny … I had thought that I had the breathing/self-recognition/meditation thing down pat. I’ve meditated for 20 years. I’ve practiced and preached the importance of breathing for almost as long. But I had to almost kill myself to wake myself up. Ah, the power of self-delusion.

Anyhow, since July, my life has changed. I make time every day to practice some deep breathing. I eat “clean” in the sense that I’m eat healthily and with vigor those food that nourish my body and my soul. I have found a new rheumatologist who has laid out any number of steps to help me deal with the fibro. I have joined a gym. I have engaged a personal trainer to help me work out routines that I can actually maintain. I have signed up for a water aerobics class.

And, most important, I have decided that never again will I cede to others the decisions that are mine.

This is taking time. One of the important aspects of Zinn’s books is the notion of practicing. You can’t focus on your breathing in the middle of a huge crisis if you haven’t tried it in the peace and quiet of your own space first. There are a number of CDs and tapes available as well, and I have found them extremely useful. (I believe that we are not allowed to put links to other sites in posts any more, but you can find his website in a simple Google search.)

The reason I’m going on at such length (other than the fact that I always seem to go on at such length) is that I believe we are ALL under incredible stress. Stress is part of life. And in some ways, we wouldn’t have it any other way. But too many of us here deal with stress by turning to food. And that sets off its own awful cycle. Although your question didn’t elicit a lot of responses, I know there were many heads nodding in agreement when you wrote. And since I gained so much from the answers I got from others, I hope this post will prove just as helpful.

I’m sorry I’ve been missing in action so much. I’ve been totally swamped, but thankfully, I can report that I am well and strong. I hope that all of you can say the same.

With warmest regards,

[silverbirch]

Dear Sheila - I do hope your father is feeling very much better now and that the way ahead is clear.

Elana, rabbit and Robin: thanks for your posts. Very helpful indeed. Robin wrote:

I believe we are ALL under incredible stress. Stress is part of life. And in some ways, we wouldn’t have it any other way. But too many of us here deal with stress by turning to food. And that sets off its own awful cycle.

Yes, I'm having a food and stress period. I'm trying to get my sleep, exercise and food back into balance after a rather trying period and it's difficult. Yes, it's difficult. So I'll look into Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Robin - I'm so very pleased to see you again. I've been thinking of you and hoping hard that you're OK. May I say 'very, very well done' for all the work you're doing on yourself and for sharing it with us? We all benefit, definitely.

Love, Silverbirch