Gina: I hear ya.

For me it's all about the food, sure exercise helps me lose weight, but if my food intake is too high I pile it on. I am also dealing with a 15-18lb surplus I mostly put on WHILE running consistently....

For me I am dealing with head hunger more than anything else... There's a reason I went back to WW this past weekend.

On a happier note, it's my 5 year anniversary of joining WW!!

Cheers!

Ali

I don't know, I think we are all "different" period. Everyone has made very valid points and I agree with practically all of them.

But, you know, for the better part of my adult life I've allowed my weight and weight loss struggles to set me apart from the "normal" crowd - and I refuse to do that anymore. Is it going to be harder for me to maintain a desirable weight than it is for my friends who have always been thin? Maybe, maybe not - I won't know until I've been there for a while. Does it matter to me? No.

The fact of the matter is that there is something great about each of us that any number of other people would love to come by as easily as we do. Everybody has to work harder than the next person at SOMETHING.

So, sure we are different - but that is part of what makes us all so similar. All I know is that I am tired of comparing myself to the next person. I've got what I've got, I've done what I've done, and all I can do now is make the most of it. I don't know a single person - reduced obese or not - who isn't in exactly the same boat.

Amen, Jawsmom!

I'm tired of comparin' myself to the next person, too.

I think we are all unique, but also alike, and that we all have special strengths and weaknesses.

Weight is only a part of the equation ... it's an important part, to me, because it involves building the best body I can, but weight does not define me as a human being.

Good, bad, different, same, fat, thin, we ARE, as you say, all in the same boat.

Very good thread. Thanks for starting it, Meg.

Meg - you are absolutely spot-on again! what a great post!

Speaking for myself personally - I do work out every single day - often TWICE a day. (sometimes 3 times/day, but we won't even go there right now!) For myself, a lot of my success has to do with attitude and staying busy. So much of my overeating in the past has been what I call recreational eating - not because I was hungry or had some sort of mental crisis but because the food was there and I had nothing better to do at the time (or I thought I didn't). Thus, I replaced that form of recreation with other hobbies and activities - one of which is exercise.

Attitude - if you told me back 16 years ago that I would LOVE exercise and look forward to my daily workouts, I would have thought you'd lost your marbles. Sure, I changed my eating and exercise habits, but my success really started when I changed my ATTITUDE. I would advise new maintainers NOT to think of Meg's post as a prison sentence, but as an OPPORTUNITY. Back when I hated exercise - most of my past experiences had to do with total, abject humiliation (mostly in PE class), being picked last for a team, feeling like a total klutz, etc. The key for me was finding exercise that I enjoyed doing - and continuing to discover new 'fun' stuff (for example, joining a brand new gym and trying out different new classes and equipment!).

I guess you could say 'change your attitude - change your life'.

Mrs. Jim, I couldn't agree more that attitude is a tremendous part of any success - weight loss or otherwise.

I grew up with my dad always saying things like, "It is your attitude not your aptitude that will determine your altitude in life." It used to drive me crazy because it seemed so corny and, of course, at 15 I already knew how the world worked.

As an adult, though, I understand the value of his words. I honestly believe that applying that sentiment to this LAST weight loss effort is what will get me to my goal and KEEP me there. In the past I could have told you anything you wanted to know about every weight loss and exercise plan out there but I had a "can't do" attitude and I never lost weight and kept it off for any amount of time.

I understand Meg's post. I know that maintainence is going to take the same dedication and commitment that I have for losing the weight in the first place. In fact, I am prepared for it to take MORE. Just like losing weight, maintainence won't always be smooth sailing. Neither is any other worthwhile thing I do. That's life - and I intend to live it.

Maintainence will be unchartered territory for me and that is exciting if not a little scary. I know I'll make mistakes, but I will learn from them and move on. I'll pay attention to people who have been successful like MrsJim, Meg, and Mel. I'll figure out what works for me and do it. I don't see it being any different than starting a new job, getting married, or becoming a parent for the first time. Anything in life is what you make of it and I intend to make the most of being fit and trim for the first time in my adult life.

I think I can be more accepting of "it's harder for us" as I get further away from having met my goal weight last fall. I read things like that at that time and felt overwhelmed. I thought I'd hit the finish line and was "there," "finished," "done." NOPE! Sorry. But it was too much to hear at that time. Now, with some space between me and the finish line, I'm realizing that I have to make choices to eat well (call it clean, healthy, decisively, whatever) and exercise regularly. At times it's hard to cut myself some slack and I almost feel like I have disordered thinking because I can't let myself slip up. But, part of this portion of the journey, for me, has been learning how to really incorporate a healthy lifestyle (combo of diet and exercise) into my daily life and slowly, but surely make choices that will be longer term than just a diet mentality.

I'm spending more time figuring out how to make my food more delectable and not worry if this chicken recipe has 3 calories more per serving than another one. I'm looking for new workout routines to keep things exciting in the gym. It's a different mentality and a different set of challenges.

Also, I'm lower than I ever expected (size/weight/bmi/bf/etc) but I see my 30's ending in a year and a half and I want to hit my 40's and those unavoidable life changes women face at a good place so I'm ahead of the game and not making up lost time. I'm already working on understanding that some things will be out of my control at that time, but I've built in kind of a buffer zone to work through (if my head will let that happen when it comes! LOL)

Thanks for continuing to post how maintenance has affected each of you. Bits & pieces make sense now and bits & pieces make sense later, but it's good to hear them all along!

Brenda

As an almost-maintainer who has lost 170 pounds after a lifetime of obesity ...

What made "this time" stick and allowed me to get this far was when I finally realized that I was different from "normal" people, and would always be so. I was not simply someone who lacked discipline (although that had something to do with it), but that there was a fundamental difference in the way my brain worked vis a vis food. As Meg mentioned, I had always assumed that if I dieted long enough and lost the weight, I would become a normal person in terms of appetite and relationship with food. That PART OF reaching goal was my body/mind changing as well as my weight.

Now, I have actually found that to some degree that is true -- the longer you watch your eating & activity (with a positive attitude in place) -- the more ingrained that behavior becomes. But at the age of 39 I realized that I needed to make peace with the fact that I could never expect that I would shed my compulsive eating personality. It would not go away, but I could manage it. I had to treat it as a chronic disease that required life-long attention and vigilance. I could not depend on "motivation" to take me through, that it was a matter of DECIDING to do what needed to be done and not falling off the wagon when the initial enthusiasm faded. THAT breakthrough -- and refusing to set a pie-in-the-sky goal at first, but deciding to be happy if I got down to about 220 -- allowed me to lose the weight in the first place, and even get down to what's considered "normal" for my height. So, in a way, you can say I started maintenance the day I started my current program. I would not have made past the first 20 pounds otherwise. Living my life by whim is what got me to be double the weight I should have been. If I had depended on whim and emotion (motivation) to carry me through, I never would have made it. By realizing, like successful maintainers, that success means daily, thoughtful effort regardless of circumstance, I was able to finally become the person I think I was meant to be. Mostly. (That's another huge navel-gazing post ...)

As to the metabolic issues, I can't say. I've gotten where I am with only sporadic activity. I am currently not doing much, and I know I have to pick that back up to lose these last 10 pounds. Physiologically I don't think I'm THAT different from someone who has never been more overweight than I currently am. I do suspect I have a lower BF ratio than a "normal" woman of my height/weight/age, as most formally do. (That's why I hate BMI as a measurement.)

Interesting post, as always, Meg! I totally agree that we are different.

As an example - I just visited my contry of birth and childhood-teenagehood and met some of my former friends/colleques. Most of them gained weight and turned into bitter sad women. Two of them though are happy great looking women. Funnily enough, one of them brought up the topic of beeing with her 21 y.o. son at the dance club and her buddies, who did not know he is her son, had mistaken him for her BF. When she clarified that she is his mother, they asked her - how come she looks so great. Her answer was: many people ask me about secret of keeping my body young - there is my secret - eat less and move more It was so easy said, and image of her glorious body stays in my eyes, and her smile, saying it. So here it is - eat less and move more - and have great body and pure soul! And get your sons mistaken for your BFs!
Sandy.

I'm finding my life to be more like wndranne's. I wonder if it's the higher bodyfat percentage, younger age, or the fact that I've lost fewer pounds than our Maintainer superstars.

I'm 5'4", highest weight of 172 lbs. And I thought I looked pretty good then, so I never worried, and didn't know until later that an "obese" BMI is 174 at my height. If I'd known, I might have done something sooner.

Anyways, I'm down to 130 lbs, and I practice yoga 2x/week. I maintain at 2000 calories a day. My bodyfat is around 24% (infrared measurement). I'm 27 years old.

In some ways maintenance is like losing: I still track all of my food in FitDay, I eat more fruits and veggies, I have shifted my fat choices toward healthy fats or lowfat foods, dessert is much smaller, I exercise.

I really liked the testosterone magazine article - It gave me some great pointers. I'm going to start weight lifting again, like I did when I was losing. I do miss the energy, the enthusiasm I felt after lifting. And I think I'm getting softer, I haven't lifted in 6 months.

I think ameliaamy may be on to something here. Perhaps the difference is based on just how overweight we once were? Maybe the bodies of those who weren't as morbidly obese as some of us are able to return to a state of "normal" metabolic function after weight loss, where our's are not.

Meg, I wonder if the good Dr. Leibel mentioned anything like this in his lecture or conversation with you? I'd be very interested to hear his thoughts on this point in particular.

Beverly

Thank you one and all for these wonderful posts that just keep me going and make me feel not so alone in my struggle with weightloss.... No wonder I couldn't lose weight before I joing 3FC!! to all the maintainers and maintaner wannabes (that includes me the future wannabe)

I think Beverly makes a really good point. There are just so many influences on each of our weight loss and maintainence experiences.

I think that WHY a person becomes obese would be a significant factor in how difficult maintainence is. For instance, someone who is a compulsive overeater may have a much harder time than someone who became obese as a result of a change in lifestyle.

Similarly, I assume HOW LONG a person is obese makes a difference. My guess is that someone who has been obese all their lives will struggle a bit more than someone who didn't have a weight problem until they were an adult. Wouldn't the metabolism of someone who has been obese for only a few years make a better comeback than someone who has been obese for decades?

Jawsmom, I was thinking the same thing. I didn't gain any significant weight until after I had a hysterectomy at age 35. I have lost and gained several times since then, and am working my way down to what I plan to be the LAST time! :lol I enjoy reading about maintenance since the last time I lost I swore it would be the last time too, and I did maintain a nearly 70# loss for 2+ years, then slowly crept back up. I know that I relaxed my vigilence, and changed my lifestyle. I injured myself and let the exercise go. I let little "treats" creep into my food plan, and here I am. Not back the whole way, but well on the way. At least I've stopped gaining and am in losing mode again. Back to regular exercise, and better eating.

Pat's post got me thinking about life chages and weight maintenance. I feel like I was successful this time around because I started acting like a maintainer from day 1--this commitment to weight management and health was a lifetime commitment and not just a quick fix until I got down to some goal weight where I could resume 'normal' life.

But even though it hasn't been that long, I've had two major physical shifts that quite dramatically affected my approach to weight maintenance. The first was when I went from eating about 1500 cal/day (quite comfortably) with about an hour of exercise per day, to taking up endurance sports (long distance triathlon, cycling, marathon). I literally started feeling sick, flu-llike on that calorie level and had to revamp my diet to include many more calories/day, which varied according to my training plan for the day and week. But weight maintenance was still a priority for me, and maintain I did. My strategies for weight management had to change, but the result didn't.

The second change was pregnancy, where weight maintenance is not an option. This one has really thrown me for a loop. In spite of my best efforts, I'm gaining weight faster than I should and nothing is really working. Fortunately, it is by definition a temporary condition, I'm limiting damage (from a weight management point of view) the best I can, and riding it out. While I'm not especially looking forward to it, I know how to clean up the mess later, or at least have a reasonable idea of how to do it. And it is going to get done, because that is a commitment I've made to myself and now my daughter.

But I can see at least 2 or 3 more major changes in my life, because this is for life, which is (hopefully) a long long time. Will my body react the same post-pregnancy as it did before? I'm guessing it won't, at least not exactly. Even if it did, will I be back at 1500 cal/day or more like 2500? What kind of exercise/training will I be able to do? While some of my strategies stayed relatively constant, others are going to have to change. Another 10 years or so and I hit menopause. BIG physiological changes there. Will I become more like Meg & Mel? (I sure hope so--you guys always look so fabulous.) Will I have to make strength training a higher priority, or like this fabulous 65-year-old woman in my triathlon club, will triathlon keep me in shape?

I guess as a result of this thread, I'm starting to think about the long term implications of weight management lifestyles, how that may change over time, and how in some cases I'm going to have to learn to be flexible and others I'm not. Example: journaling my food is always a strategy that I'll need to have in place, but what I'm looking for in the journal could potentially change quite dramatically.

I appreciate the fact that we're all different here, because it gives me a bigger base to draw from, as these things happen. Plus I think we all share the common experience of being heavier than we want to be when we let our bodies self-regulate, and the difficulty in managing that. It seems to me that the plans vary once you get past the basic eat less/better and move more, but the planning doesn't.

Anne

Hi Everyone! I'm new here and this thread caught my attention because it is exactly what I am going through right now. Over the course of about a year and a half I lost 87 pounds. I have been in maintenance for about a year now, and over the last 8 weeks I have managed to gain 7 pounds while still exercising regularly and basically maintaining my healthy eating habits with one exception......visits to restaurants for work functions at lunch time.

I didn't feel too bad about my choices at these lunches, but this would certainly explain why I gained that weight despite the consistent exercise. My only problem is that right now I am stuck in 'resentment' mode. It bugs me that I can't eat like a normal person. That I have to be aware of every calorie that I put in my mouth. That I have to exercise daily whether I feel like it or not because the alternative is just a million times worse than I am willing to accept.

It's funny to me that I have had a pretty stress-free maintenance year and now this stuff is starting to back up on me Plus, there doesn't seem to be a lot of support in place for people who are on maintenance which is why I think I struck gold when I found this place! I can't believe how hard this is, and just hearing from people who are struggling with the same things that I am struggling with makes me feel less 'abnormal'.