[EllaWe]

Hi,
Over the past year and a half, I've lost about 85 pounds. The catalyst was some digestive problems which despite having my gallbladder removed have not completely resolved, despite following a very careful, "clean" (nutritionist-approved) diet.

I've reached my weight goal and it seems like I should be feeling great and confident and attractive, but I do not. I have a lot of loose skin and feel that I look older. I look slim with my clothes on, and I've gained more energy and a certain degree of improved health (and have learned much better eating habits), but after an entire lifetime spent thinking that I would be a better, happier, sexier and fantastically healthy person if I lost weight and cleaned up my diet, I'm having trouble getting over the disappointment of finding out that things are very much the same.

Anyone else struggle with this? Tell me it's a phase! How did you get out of it?

[JayEll]

Hi EllaWe,

You're not the first person to feel that way after losing a large amount of weight. After all, you're the same person on the inside, and you have a lot of internalized baggage you need to get rid of. I'm talking about attitudes toward yourself and your body that don't just magically change when you reach a scale number.

It is a phase--and it's one you can get over, but you may need to work at it. Loose skin? Lots of people have it after losing a lot of weight. Look older? That's part of the loose skin, and also has to do with how the body loses fat. You can come to terms with these things, and work around them--but in some ways the harder part will be dealing with those expectations you had that losing weight would fix your life.

Some ideas for you:

- Concentrate on the fact that you are a valuable, worthwhile person regardless of your size.
- Do more investigation into your digestion problems. It may be that simply eating "clean" (nutritionist approved or not) isn't the issue.
- Get active. You didn't mention having an exercise program. That's OK--you don't have to sign up for a gym and spend time every day on a treadmill/exercise bike/elliptical/stair stepper etc. But you would probably feel better if you engaged in physical activity regularly. Walking, swimming, yoga, tai chi, dance... Workouts using hand weights are also really good. Plenty of resources out there.
- Follow your good eating principles, but don't become obsessed with weighing all the time and trying to draw conclusions from it. Most day-to-day fluctuations in weight are due to water, not due to fat gain or loss.
- Consider seeing a counselor or therapist. Some of these professionals even specialize in weight issues, so they can understand better where you're coming from.

I hope you feel better! There is little doubt that your overall health has improved from losing that weight in a healthy way. And that's really what it's about.