:grouphug: Shannon. I'm so sorry you have to go through this with DSS.

We were going to go see the Avengers but DS had a study session for his APUSH test tomorrow and I didn't really want to leave Chico alone--even for a few hours. But we'll have to leave him alone for 7 hours tomorrow because of DD's recital. I might have someone come over and sit with him for an hour.

I'm taking him back to the vet at noon, basically for a dressing change, but I'm also concerned about his left front ankle. I think I told you he jumped off the bed Saturday night and squealed in pain. I wonder if he tweaked the ankle or even sprained it. It's swollen, yet he doesn't mind me manipulating it. The other possibility is an infection from where the IV was during surgery. The swelling is beneath the IV shaved area and the area is a bit red. Worst part is, he is now afraid of jumping down--even from lower heights (as in my car). I had a hard time getting him out of the car this morning. There is really no way for me to lift him out. I might take DH's SUV at noon just to try and make it a bit easier.

Shannon, I hope DSS grows the heck up and doesn't pull these kinds of stunts again. Sometimes all it takes is one incident of bullying someone and seeing their hurt reaction to guilt you into never bullying again.

Saturday was a 12.6 mile mountain hike along the Tongue Mountain Loop by Lake George in the Adirondacks. My quads are screaming and crying two days after. Despite having a wonderful time and keeping pace with my expert hiker boyfriend (he has done 2 week long solo hikes in Yosemite and Alaska!), I am disappointed that I kept thinking as I was hiking about how many calories were being burned, how all the water retention would affect my weight, blah blah blah stupid crap.

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...05579333_n.jpg

krampus great pic of you and what a beautiful place! It IS hard to shut down all the food/diet/exercise stuff yes? I am fortunate because most of my day is spent very much "in the moment" and I can get into that mind set quite easily.

However, it's not so great when I impulsively decide to buy and eat junk and don't think about the consequences.

I wish it were easier to flip back and forth between mind sets, depending on what was appropriate.

Dagmar :dizzy:

Printer suggestions.
I have a Dell computer and a Dell printer, my printer has gone bad, I do not want another Dell printer and am going to buy a new printer. Any suggestions ?
I am considering...
Canon
HP
or
Epson.

Shannon :hug: re DSS. It sounds like the little boy who was acting out due to his parents breaking up is now turning into something totally different. And he's smart enough to know that there's no adult who can stop him.

Dagmar :(

Oh, Shannon, I am so sorry to read this. For your sake, and for his sake. I just saw that documentary, "Bully," this past weekend, and it was a heart breaker. I could hear people in the audience around me crying. I remember being bullied, I remember bullying, I remember being friends with bullies, and being turned on by them, or seeing them at work on a different victim. What is it, but someone who feels powerless and at a loss himself, trying to boost his status or self-esteem through dominance behavior? This all seems to come around his problems from living with his mother, doesn't it?

How I wish you didn't feel solely responsible. That's a heavy thing to live with. But she seems to have abdicated her responsibilities and is content with being part of the problem. She hasn't got the insight or the conscience that you do. Therefore I think you suffer far more from this than her.

I am no childcare expert or child psychologist, so I can offer little on the subject dearest to your heart. But I do hope you remember to take care of yourself in this. Making yourself uncomfortable will not help. Do not tear at yourself (metaphorically) in your own pain. This was one of the things that bothered me the most about my former bingeing: Why, when I was already hurting, did I hurt myself EVEN MORE by eating that way? That was the moment when I needed the most kindness & care. This is also true of you. You need your health & your rest to get through this.

Here comes the trite advice about changing the way you react to a bad situation when you can't change the situation itself. If there's anything you can do to keep yourself from cycling through familiar exhausting stages whenever you receive bad news of your stepson, you may want to think about identifying how the waves of reaction hit you and how you can take care of yourself better at that moment.

I am so sorry about this.

Your quads may be crying, but I believe I can see quad muscle definition in your photo, as your legs look great. That's a great picture: You on top of the world.

That's a long hike. The monkey mind is bound to start chattering to itself because it's not as occupied for those hours as the legs. Don't be too hard on yourself for failing to be constantly exalted by the natural beauty. That's a feeling you get for only a few minutes at a time. Your animal instincts are always going to be wondering about your next meal and whether you're hungry yet.

Are you worried you're at the edge of eating disorder behavior with the preoccupation with food?

I know that for me, it's generally just a low hum in the background, like white noise, mostly because I find myself having to plan a lot. The only thing I regret about changing my eating habits and attaining a healthy weight is that I've lost almost all my spontaneity where food is concerned. But it was a conscious tradeoff and I find what I've gained was worth it. Everything costs something. Everyone has to decide how much they're willing to pay, and for how long.

Shan- I have not read as much about your boy as I have been focused on the topic of binge vs non-binge....

I surely understand how dam taxing a frustrating little boy can be. In fact, mine is literally wearing me out. It's so sad. I must believe that w/enough moments of therapy and parent instruction/discussion/lead by example..., progress has to be made.

But, my dh and I are on the same page. You have a far more complicated situation. I'm sorry for your head banging. If only we could put our bruised heads together...xxoo

Allison- hugs to the pooch. Has he improved since this am? What a roller coaster.

I have always gone with HP. I find them easy to operate, easy to buy/change ink cartridges, and the paper tends to hardly ever jam in them. I get the multi-function machines now for printing, photocopying, fax, etc. They seem to last for about 3 years and then die.

Dagmar :dizzy:

Thanks, Dagmar . The first printer I ever owned was an HP and I liked it , don't know what ever happened to it. I am going shopping today if I see one I like I will get it otherwise I will order something on the internet.

All of my printers have been HP, FWIW. You can usually get them fairly inexpensively as well (I think they make money on the ink).

Tonight is DD's senior recital which means trip #2 to Fullerton. It should be interesting as CalTrans indicates lane closures of #1, #2, #3, #4 and shoulder from Banning to Rancho Mirage from 8:01 PM to 4:01 AM tomorrow. Can they really close the ENTIRE east bound freeway for--what is that?--30 miles? There are no alternate routes unless you want to take an hour or more detour through Idyllwild. I may have to call them for clarification. At least the west bound closure is a small area of shoulder work.

I use amazon for reviews when I buy something like a printer. There are people with WAY too much time on their hands that will write lengthy reviews listing all of the pros, cons, etc. Then I comparison price shop. I usually end up buying from amazon as I have free shipping and usually no tax either.

saef, thank you for your kind words!

My behavior would seem to be fine; I eat when I am hungry and exercise to feel strong and don't count calories aside from "no I don't want XYZ donutbagelthing right now, not worth it." I can still enjoy some spontaneity with my diet and I don't eat my feelings. I've come a long way and I think I am finally achieving balance; I just wish I didn't think about diet and exercise as often as I do. I suppose total mindlessness wouldn't exactly be better either. "Low hum in the background" is a very accurate description!

[quote=traveling michele;4325407] There are people with WAY too much time on their hands that will write lengthy reviews listing all of the pros, cons, etc. =quote]
Good point. I will check it out.

[QUOTE=bargoo;4325467]bargoo, i have had dell and hp (a few)
if you are a costco shopper, I would recommend buying it there as my printers seem to last approx just under 1 year. Costco will take it back and credit you for a new one.