Friday, May 6:

15 minutes warmup on arc trainer, no resistance
60 minutes weights
45 elliptical, resistance at eight, half going backward

I got up at 4:30 AM & was dressed & ready to leave for the gym by 6 AM, but I made the mistake of checking my work e-mail first & became trapped in my Aeron, working. So I did not in fact get out to the gym till nearly 7 PM tonight. It's a weird experience to work out in our gym on a Friday night.

Saturday, May 7:

45 minute spin class
60 minutes Pilates


In the gardens, the lilacs are pretty much open and the irises are now unfurling. I have every reason to be happier than I feel. I should go get a pedicure so my feet look nice in Pilates class.

The white lilac in my garden is in bloom, too, and it's just above where I'm working outside. Lovely.

TM, rower, yoga and stretching this morning. I can feel it.

Sunday, Mother's Day, May 8:

15 minutes warmup on the arc trainer, no resistance
60 minutes weights
45 minutes spin class, lots of sprints, not a lot of resistance

A gorgeous sunny day, very floral & pollen-filled & fecund & thriving. When I walked past the little greengrocer/flower market -- well, the bodega -- after leaving the gym, I saw customers in line with flowers, ransacking the white buckets & the wooden crates from all the potted & cut flowers. A sign that it's Mother's Day. (This also happens on Valentine's Day.) Also, the nail salon had its doors wide open & the women were all at their stations & raised their heads like deer when I glanced inside. They're all ready & waiting for the holiday rush of mani/pedis.

About a minute later, I walked past a parked car covered all over with pink & white petals. At first I thought it must be a newly wed couple's car that had been strewn with rose petals. Or even someone's mother's car, which had been very inventively decorated. Then, peering at it more closely, I realized it was just somebody's car that had been parked under flowering crab apple trees so that all the dropped petals had stuck all over its hood & roof & trunk. It looked quite festive & appropriate for the season.

May 5: none (not feeling too well)

May 6: none (still not feeling great)

May 7: 90 minute Bikram Yoga

May 8: none

Totals:
4 days
330 minutes

Not a good start to May! Hoping to get back on track this week NO MATTER WHAT!:carrot::carrot::(

Monday, May 9:

60 minutes arc trainer, hill intervals, resistance at nine
60 minutes circuit training class

Walking home from the gym after 8 PM, in near-daylight, well, in the twilight, and the weather is warm, the peonies are opening, and I should be happy. I'm not. I'm still sad & angry. But I'm not eating over it. That in itself is amazing. I'm not treating myself "because I deserve it." (Fatal words.) I'm not stuffing my face to make myself feel better & pretending to be happy. Not to others & not to myself.

I've been thinking about you Saef and hoping you were doing okay. Sounds like you are feeling blue but I'm glad you're not turning to food! Hope your mood lifts soon.

May 9: 60 minutes Boot Camp

Totals:
5 days
390 minutes

Well done, saef. You carry on.

Tuesday - gymn. I did three days last week of TM and rower and some yoga/stretching. Result: achey foot and on-off lower back niggles. This happens when I try to develop things on the TM so today I told myself that.

So cross-trainer instead. Then rower. Then yoga and stretching but without leg lifts as I think these may be doing my psoas in. (I'm knowledgeable as I read an article in Yoga Journal ...)

My current plan is as follows.

Ditch the chiro who has given me good relief but is not good enough at empowering me to take control of the niggles. Quite good but not good enough.

Investigate a highly recommended physiotherapist (I don't know the North American for this job). Physios named the problem some years ago as weak VMO (vastus medialis oblique, the inner one of the four quad muscles).

Carry on seeing my podiatrist who is not happy at my lack of progress.

Keep on with gymn and other movement.

My long-term aim (since about 2004) has been to take up running again because it's portable and stress-relieving. I've been working in that direction but it all takes time. You can say that again. It's lucky I'm patient as well as busy.

Tuesday, May 10:

15 minutes elliptical, no resistance, as warmup
60 minutes weights
60 minute spin class, the so-called "Endurance ride" with four weight intervals

I tried the Concept 2 for just a few minutes, to see how it felt. To my sorrow, the drive chain has been stretched out & it didn't offer the same resistance when set at "5" as it did just two weeks ago. The gym needs to replace the chain.

Also I talked discreetly about my sore spot with the extremely fit gym-goer who rowed for a local college's crew team & who coaches high school students in crew. She understood completely. Lots of nodding & sympathetic wincing. Apparently it is not unusual to rub yourself raw while rowing, to have scabbed-over sores & eventually to develop calluses in that particular spot. (Butt calluses! Who knew?!)

May 10: 60 minutes Elliptical

Totals:
6 days
450 minutes

Wednesday, May 11:

45 minute spin class with weight intervals
30 minute Pilates mat routine on my own

The long days are with us again. I just noticed this morning when I set out for spin class at 5:30 AM in full morning light. And I know when I get back from the gym around 8 PM, it's still pretty light out.

This is such a precious time in the Northeast. My resolution this year: To be outdoors more as long as the good weather & the plentiful daylight lasts, rather than indoors, at a laptop.

May 11: 90 minutes Bikram Yoga

Totals:
7 days
540 minutes

Thursday

X-trainer, rower, yoga and stretching. I'm starting to feel a bit nearer to the groove but I'm still struggling with some kind of muscular imbalance (L hip/leg/knee).

I've made an appointment with the new physio for next Tuesday.

Thursday, May 12

60 minutes Pilates class
30 minutes elliptical, resistance at eight, half backward

I feel so guilty that I didn't clock a full hour of cardio, or even 45 minutes' worth. The thing is, I was so ravenously hungry that it was distracting me. It was 8:30 PM & lunch was a distant memory, as was my snack of almonds & two plums around 4 PM. I had to work a bit late & barely made it to Pilates at 7 PM. So no cardio beforehand, as is my wont. I stayed to do it afterward instead but could tell I wasn't going to make it. With memories of my past eating disorder issues in the back of my mind, I have always promised myself that I wouldn't let myself go hungry ever if this situation arose ... that I would take care of myself ... so I got off the machine & went home. Now I feel badly, as if I gave up too soon, as if I could have prevailed & the hunger pangs would have gone away. My great fear: I didn't do enough, when I could have ... I am trying to just let this go, let this day end, get to bed. Tomorrow is another day.