As I am approaching maintenance, I thought I should start lurking around the maintainers forum a little more often. I tend to be long winded sometimes so be prepared LOL. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about weight loss related issues, I appreciate everyone here so much .
I wanted to come here to ask an important question. How did you decide you were done losing weight and ready to maintain? I am about two pounds above normal according to my BMI. I am a fairly large framed girl with broad shoulders so I think I want to stay on the higher end of normal. All of this is still really new. I don't have anything to compare my weight to as I haven't been this light since I was 11 years old so I don't really have an ideal image of what I should look like. Some days I am determined to lose 10 more pounds even though I know the last 10 will be hard. Other days I feel like maybe this is it and I am happy where I am. My dad tells me I am definitely thin enough, but he is my dad and he is used to seeing me as big so he doesn't count LOL. My husband says I look great and I am thin already although I don't really see a thin girl in the mirror quite yet. He says its up to me if I decide to lose more so he is no help. I would love to lose more stomach fat but I fear I will start getting more saggy in the upper legs and arms and I will lose the rest of my reduced (and saggy ) breasts if I lose any more weight. I usually wear a Spanx type of under shirt so I don't look bad when I'm dressed.
I guess I am kind of on the fence whether I should try to lose five or ten more pounds or just maintain. I know I have accomplished a lot but I kind of feel like a failure if I quit when I still have a stomach and I am still considered a bit "overweight". I also feel a little tired after losing for so long and I know the last ten will be pretty tough. I don't want to have to eat like a bird and maintain at a low calorie level just for ten more pounds.
Has anyone else settled for a higher goal, what would you do in my situation?

Edited to add: I a currently a size 8/10 in pants, M/L in tops and my pics are in my sig link just in case anyone is wondering my current size

I reached my goal weight in August, and have been maintaining it without too much struggling. I know I am not fat, and many people will comment that "you are thin, and don't understand weight problems" Once you are slender, you lose your identity as an overweight person. To others that identity is gone, but not in my own head. I can see I look thin, I can see it in the mirror. But I am still scared in my head. Anyway, after all these months, I want to lose another few pounds. Get down to 143. Then I hope my mind and body will be one.

Hi sweetnlow,

That's an excellent question. I've wondered if I should drop my goal more and decided against it. Like you, I would prefer to be at a weight I can maintain comfortably rather than a weight that is a constant struggle to maintain.

Originally, my goal was to weigh "whatever 1800 calories a day will maintain". It's possible that I'm already at a lower weight than that, though it's too soon to really say. I've increased from 1400 to 1500 a day and will probably stay there long enough to see if I'm maintaining or losing (I'll be disappointed if I'm gaining at 1500 a day, but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it).

Two things that seem to be par for the course are (1) having it take some time until your mind catches up with where your body is now and (2) needing to do some tweaking and fine-tuning in the first few months of maintenance.

In answer to your question, I think it would make sense to try to maintain for a while--you can always try to shed 5 or 10 more later.

Welcome and good luck!

Only you will know when you're "done". No one can tell you what is right for you. I think it depends on many things like what calorie and exercise level is sustainable to you, how you feel about saggy parts (in my experience they just get saggier), what clothing size make you feel good, etc., etc. I also feel like we know we're done when we quit wondering what another 5-10 lbs would look like. When I claimed I was done at 148, I knew I wasn't. I knew the high 140s wasn't going to be comfortable to me. In the low 140s I knew I was done because it was what felt right and what feels sustainable. If I drop into the 130s, which I have, I'm ok with that too, but I'm not willing to change my maintenance plan to make it happen or make it last if it doesn't on it's own.

Anyway, I think it's just a very individual question that only you'll be able to answer. Good luck and congrats!

I Totally agree with the above-quoted statement.

Thanks girls. I totally agree too, unfortunately LOL. What was everyone's deciding factor that you lost enough weight? Did you go by BMI, what you saw in the mirror, or something else? I have a feeling that I am still going to try for at least five pounds and see where that gets me. I guess part of me is just looking for a reason to be done because I am anxious to start maintenance. Good things come to those who wait..and those who work hard for it

I set by initial goal based on BMI, aiming for a normal BMI. I am now going for an additional 6 - just to be able to say I have lost 40lbs. I might then go for 3 more - just so that I can maintain between 155 and 160 with 160 being my redline. Please note, I love what I see in the mirror but I need that buffer zone.

All in all, it all boils down to what you want!

For me it's just a phyical feeling. I guess you could say how my clothes fit and how I feel when I look in the mirror. Part of it's mental too, I feel ok saying I weigh in the low 140's but for some reason saying that I'm an 8/10 doesn't feel quite right, I'd rather say a 6/8, but in the end I think that's just unimportant so I'm trying to come to terms with that and go on the fact that I look and feel fantastic and healthy at an 8/10 and that's all that really matters. To get into a 6/8 would probably take me into the low 130s and I think that other parts of my body would start to suffer and the overall package would not be as nice. So maybe I'll try to achive that with weight training and toning. I know many many maintainers, myself included actually, that have continued to lose inches and not lbs after goal.

Hard-won experience, living at different weights, as I've said elsewhere.

I've had to figure out what is sustainable over time, what is kindest to my state of mind, as well as to my body.

Living at 107 made me crazy, literally, leading me into an eating disorder.

Living at 115 required a great deal of concentration. I believe I could do this, if I made my living in a way that depended heavily on my appearance (model, actress, shop clerk at high-end store, escort service, sex industry). But since I don't, the effort simply does not pay off.

Living at 125-130 would be doable, but still would be tiring & more restrictive than I'm willing to deal with.

My range is probably 135-145, but I don't often get into the lower end of this unless the stars align, life goes smoothly, and the other shoe holds off from dropping for a couple consecutive months.

Just edited to add: Naturally, I do not recommend developing or even flirting briefly with an eating disorder to establish one's lowest sustainable weight. It's just how my life played out.

I think I kept going until all but a small few of my fat friends developed a hatred towards me for becoming "thin". Seriously. I just kept at it until I felt like everyone hated me. Unfortunately, since I have now maintained that loss for 18 months, they hate me even more. Benefits of living in a small town I guess.

I second (third?) the trial-and-error comment. For me, though, trial-and-error is less about finding a comfortable weight than it is about finding a comfortable body fat level. Because it's too much hassle to get BF% tested regularly, I go by the definition (or lack thereof) in my abs. This makes me a bit of an odd duck around 3FC, but it works for me.

I mention this in part because I can *really* make myself crazy by reading women's fitness magazines. The "goal" weights for the real-life weight loss stories featured in these mags are typically less than my current lean body mass. (I've been lifting for nearly 15 years. Egads, how did that happen?) If I used the mags to set my target weight, I'd be setting myself up for failure, unless I was willing to stop lifting.

My point, then, is simply that (a) you can choose something other than a weight, and (b) whatever it is, it should be *your* choice, not anyone else's.

//b. strong

Wow, that's so sad. And so ridiculous: it's not like weight loss is a zero-sum game, such that if one person loses weight another person gains it!

//b. strong,
Kim

I'm nowhere near maintenance myself but have been musing on a similar thing. As a recovering anorexic (I know, thankfully I've come across so many former anorexics who are now overweight on here, normally everyone says that can't be true) I need to set my goal weight by something external. I can't go by how I look, how I feel, any of that stuff, cos last time I wasn't happy with how I looked in a UK8 and weighing 96lbs.

I am unconvinced by BMI, especially for a disabled person cos my height is not quite what it would be if I didn't have a twist in my spine so I'm probably officially at least an inch taller probably two, my muscular build is more manly than womanly cos of my hormones and a disorder that means I have to deliberately and physically hold myself together all the time by muscle power. At almost any weight people are stunned that I weigh so much compared to my appearance. So BMI not very helpful, I think my build I should probably set a BMI no lower than 22 where others can have a BMI of 18 without being overly skinny.

So the other things I looked to were clothing, but that is so variable, my youth weight from my twenties (current goal), but I thought I was chubby then. The other weight that sticks in my mind is 124 because in UK stones I get to have an 8 at the beginning. If you weight 8 stone then clearly you are a thin person, and I think 8st12lbs is a good weight, I get to have that 8 at the start but I'm 12lbs heavier than 8 stone.

Thing is, I certainly don't want to be in a position of adjusting my goal according to intangibles once I get there, doctors just look at BMI so no point asking them, family and friends think you are skinny as soon as you lose the first 10lbs so there's not really any external barometer of progress, anyone to help you set that target. If I choose to set up camp at 136 in the end that's fine by me, but what I want to set now rather than later is an absolute lowest low, a "do not go below" number, but it's next to impossible to set that number!

That's a good point Ncuneo. I think that more toning will help me along without causing more sagging like losing a bunch more weight is bound to do. I am concerned about my upper legs as I have seen some sagging there and I want to be able to wear shorts without shame. Don't even get me started on the bat wings LOL. There is literally more than 3" of hang under my arms and I am self conscious about it. I swear I was perfectly happy to wear tank tops with fat arms at my highest weight but not anymore. I think it is because having fat arms is more "normal" and acceptable than having sagging wrinkled arms as a younger person. I am sure you all know what I mean

Aww Lori, that is unfortunate that people have to be that way isn't it. I don't have any close friends near by but I know that a couple people I don't care for in my neighborhood, have been asking around how I lost the weight. I imagine there are some starvation, surgery, and recreational drug usage rumors floating around.

Saef, your stats are very similar to mine and its reassuring to see that you are happy at weight in the 140's. I think maintaining will be pretty difficult if I go any lower than 135 at the very least.

I honestly don't know. I've always been overweight so I don't have that ideal body shape that I'm trying to get back to.
What I've used for measuring purposes is my stomach. I've wanted a flat(ter) stomach and even though I'm at 144 lbs and 4 lbs away from my goal weight, my stomach is still a pooch.
I'm trying to pick up on little clues though. Feeling confident about my body in a short skirt tells me that I'm getting close but my arms still trouble me (those dratted arms!). I'm not sure if 140 lbs will do it for me now but I want to stop when I can wear a small dress, look in the mirror and go damn.
As for toning, I only realized at about 160 lbs that cardio wasn't going to solve all my problems.. so I picked up yoga and it's going pretty well so far. I can notice that it's helping me become leaner but now I can do cool things too like the "dancer" pose and I'm getting close to being able to do the splits