...living in this new body. I did a little more shopping this weekend and I just wanted to try on some skinny jeans for fun. I looked at the pair that was supposed to be "my" size and I thought to myself there is no freakin' way these are going to come close to fitting me - they are SO tiny! I took them to the dressing anyway and sure enough - they fit perfectly. I didn't buy them, because I'm not sure that a) I have the body type for the skinny jean or b) I quite know how to wear them, like what kind of shirt do I need and do I own the right heals...blah blah blah I know! But I still just can't get my head around how small these dumb jeans looked on the hanger. Maybe it's because they were stretch jeans, I don't know.
I'm also still surpized every.single.time I look in the mirrior. I know in time, it will wear off and I won't be suprized anymore. It just seems so sudden, I don't know why I'm feeling all this now and not like 10 lbs ago...did these last 10 really make that big of a difference? And I swear it's been overnight, like I just woke up about 3 weeks ago and I was thin...how is that possible? I've been at this for 4 1/2 years! I guess I just feel like even though I haven't lost anymore weight in a few weeks my body is still morphing and tightening or something. I guess is just surreal to look in the mirror and FINALLY not see a fat person looking back at me...
Wait until you have to pack a suitcase or an overnight bag, and your clothing takes up half the space that it used to.
Or when you think to yourself that you're heavier than a particular person, but discover from speaking with someone else (and referring to that person as "skinnier" than you, or something) that you're actually the same size, or even smaller.
Wait until you have to pack a suitcase or an overnight bag, and your clothing takes up half the space that it used to.
Already there! I can now put all my stuff (because a) it doesn't take up as much space and b) I don't have to pack back up outfits for fear something will make me feel fat on that particular day, now I'm confident I'll feel great no matter what I bring) and all my two year olds clothes in the same suitcase!
I've also experienced the same size or smaller issue with friends as well. I've become the smallest person in my office (of both men and women, I was probably 2nd heaviest at my highest) and I'm the smallest of my Saturday walking group (I was the heaviest). This is all very weird stuff too.
Yeah, one of my metaphors for it is that, after years of driving an aging clunker, suddenly I woke up & there was a new sports car in the driveway. On a lease with an undetermined expiration date.
There's the same weird feeling of sitting inside it, not quite owning it or completely being part of it.
I can't tell you how many times I would go shopping and pick up clothing that I had previously bought in a particular size and think that there is no way that this time it's going to fit me. "Previously it had to have been a fluke". But no, this tiny size fits me too.
And the laundry. I'll be folding my clothing and think - uh oh - they shrunk. They're never going to get on my body now - but nope - it fits perfectly.
Very surreal.
Looking in the mirror - who IS that?
Lying in bed - feeling my hip bones, rib cage - where did these come from? Are these really mine?
I'm 3 + years maintaining and those moments are spaced further away now - but there are still plenty of times where it boggles my mind.
Yep, I'm with ya. It's the random moments when I catch my reflection out of the corner of my eye in a window or see a candid photo of myself that I didn't know had been taken. When I'm not actively looking at and judging myself and for a brief moment I see myself with the eyes that see other people. When I see my image as uncritically as I see other people. I just see "that's a skinny person." And then it dawns on me that "oh my gosh, that's me!"
And yes, it's absolutely utterly bizzare to me that when I'm shopping, I'm browsing through sizes 2's, 3's, and 4's. That my favorite dress is a size 0 (not my favorite because it's a 0, mind you, lol). It's weird to me that I'm significantly smaller than many of my friends who I envied for their thin bodies.
I was meeting some of my fiance's family members that I hadn't yet met, so they only know the thin me. One of his uncles was telling a story about some girl, and he said "she's an itty bitty waif of a girl....built a lot like you, Megan." I double taked. I am not an itty bitty waif of a girl, lol. At least I don't recognize myself as one. I lived my entire life, up until just a few months ago, as a big awkward self-conscious oaf.
Congratulations! over the years you'll discover many more surreal moments- like pulling out clothes from the previous year or two and they STILL FIT!
I had to laugh at the suitcase talk, tho. I find my suitcases are even fuller now because I have so many more clothes and choices, so I take everything! "before" I only owned a few clothes that fit, so there weren't many choices.
Mel, I had to laugh about your comment where you pull out clothes from the previous year or two and they still fit. I have some items that I am actually wearing out and that is a big one for me. I've never worn out clothing before, I've only grown out of it.
ncuneo,
You should have bought the skinny jeans! Many women say they can't wear skinny jeans and half of them are sticks! I've seen your after pics and I think that you would rock them. I also think you could wear leggings. Add a tunic top (one of the longer tops that got popular last year -- they come in T-shirts, feminine ruffled styles, sweaters,etc.) Then add some strappy heels or boots and you will be smokin. I started wearing these things when I got down to 152 last year. The boost was just what I needed to inspire me to keep going. Let me know if this works for you!
PS Pick up a copy of an August Fall fashion magazine like Glamour or Marie Claire. Also, tune in to HSN's upcoming Fall fashion shows for ideas on how to style the new looks. You can learn a lot by watching the models.
(Yes, I am fashion obsessed and always have been).
So right about the suit case - sure the clothes take up soooo much less space - but now there's so many more of them.
The same thing could be said about dresser drawers. My clothing is SO much smaller now that I can fit so much more in them. I used to fit just two piles of shirts in my drawers, now I can fit three piles. But of course, I've got so much more clothing to have to contend with. Even with all the extra space I am busting at the seams because I have SO much clothing.
Oh, the laundry too - my clothes used to take up so much room in the hamper/laundry machine/dryer. Now they take up a fraction of the space.
I tried on some clothes this week I hadn't put on for a while, which I was sure would be too small, and they were too big. It was odd, went to the mirror and yes, too big. Donations for the thrift store.
It's still just so surreal...
