These last 15 lbs have really started to change my shape and everytime I look in the mirror I'm suprised at what I see (a good thing I know). Moday at our staff meeting I was sitting in my chair (legs crossed!) and I looked down to see several inches between me and the sides of my chair. I used to touch the sides of the chairs and in some cases spill over. When I saw that I was thinking what's going on? Who's body is this? When I touch my stomach or arm or whatever it's further in then I think it should be. I just don't feel like myself...it's certainly a good thing but just a little weird...when will my brain catch up? 15 lbs ago I was having the total opposite problem, I felt smaller, leaner, THINNER, but when I looked in the mirror I still saw a fat person...I'm so ready to just stabalize and be done with this...oh well...gotta keep going!
I don't know if a formerly obese person ever really feels "normal". Since so many people tend to gain back all their weight, I assume that maybe it's a feeling that at least 95% cant ever get used to. I still get all freaked out when I feel my ribs. The first time I noticed my ribs I though I had some sort of tumor...lol Just bones!
I assume that maybe it's a feeling that at least 95% cant ever get used to.
This scares me to DEATH! I've caught myself a few times saying...maybe I should slow down...I'm in a solid 14 maybe even a 12 at some stores and I'm feeling really good, lean and fit. I'm scared how I will feel at a 12, 10 maybe even an 8...will it be too much will I start to regain. This is quite a rollercoaster! But I'm committed and I will hold on for dear life if I have to! I will never go back to my former "self".
This scares me to DEATH! I've caught myself a few times saying...maybe I should slow down...I'm in a solid 14 maybe even a 12 at some stores and I'm feeling really good, lean and fit. I'm scared how I will feel at a 12, 10 maybe even an 8...will it be too much will I start to regain. This is quite a rollercoaster! But I'm committed and I will hold on for dear life if I have to! I will never go back to my former "self".
I totally, TOTALLY, understand how you are feeling. I went through the same fears, and mental torment... I really never imagined I would end up in a size 6, and if you would have told me that I would 100 pounds ago I would have laughed. Matter of fact I tell nobody except 3FC friends my sister and my hubby. It's almost like I'm ashamed to admit it in case I don't last here...
I've had well meaning people ask me what size jeans I can wear now, and I can never tell them straight out, I say something like..."much smaller than I used to."
Funny thing is, I have NO intentions of ever going back either so I should be more comfortable facing up to the reality that I'm no longer a fat chick...I'm not even a fat chick in sheep's clothing, I am a normal size woman. Still hard to wrap my head around and I;ve been approx this weight and size for the last 8 months. Sometime I feel guilty that I beat the odds when so many other people are still struggling.
'Maybe together we can get over these feelings and embrace our accomplishments.
Even though it has been years since I've been over 300 lbs and it has been nearly 2.5 years since I've been just over 200 lbs, I still feel like the 300+ lb woman.
I'm still scared of white plastic chairs (or any plastic chairs)
When I look down at my own body, I still see the same body
Clothing shopping is extremely hard for me. Even though I don't wear plus size, I find it difficult to shop in regular stores/misses section.
It's so very odd. I've been at *goal* since July of 2007 and it's still surreal to me at times. It's so very odd. But then on the other hand it seems like ions ago that I was morbidly obese. And I suffered SO much and I was that way for SO long - close to 2 decades. I guess I swing back and forth.
The chair thing still excites and amazes me. Chairs caused me a huge amount of anxiety. I still get the biggest kick out of going to the beauty salon and looking down at the chair and seeing so much room on either side of me, where as in the past I spilled over.
It also hits me at the oddest times, that I'm a *normal* sized person. I'll get a glimpse of me in the mirror, I'll be invited somewhere and not have to worry about what I'll have to wear. I'll become very emotional at the same things that happen day in and day out and then other times it just seems very *heavy*.
So sometimes I'm used to it and others - not so much. I am really having a hard time getting my thoughts across here. Probably because my thoughts on this matter are very jumbled up.
Even though it has been years since I've been over 300 lbs and it has been nearly 2.5 years since I've been just over 200 lbs, I still feel like the 300+ lb woman.
I'm still scared of white plastic chairs (or any plastic chairs)
When I look down at my own body, I still see the same body
Clothing shopping is extremely hard for me. Even though I don't wear plus size, I find it difficult to shop in regular stores/misses section.
I'm not sure that I will ever feel normal.
Great line. I remember when it plastic chair would follow me up when I stood up.
I am still absorbing the new me too. I have no mirrors in my house that go below the rib area. Every now and again I will catch my reflection in a window while walking past a store or something and have to do a double take. LOL, I guess I am checking myself out. How desperate is that! LOL.
I don't think I really knew how thin i was looking. My families comments kinda convinced me, but it took about 6 mo. to start to believe them. When I looked in the mirror I saw the same fat person( size 15). When I got down to 110 (size 0 or 1)I thought wow, I have bones in places that I didn't know about. But when I looked down at my legs they looked fat and to me they still do. So, 9 mo. later I don't know if I am even convinced that I look 109lbs. I guess I'm trusting the size of my jeans, not the mirror. I do know that at least I do feel thin and my legs don't rub anymore. I don't think I'll ever really be able to say, "look at me I'm skinny now." It still didn't sink in.
When will my body feel like mine?
I really never imagined I would end up in a size 6, and if you would have told me that I would 100 pounds ago I would have laughed. Matter of fact I tell nobody except 3FC friends my sister and my hubby. It's almost like I'm ashamed to admit it in case I don't last here...
