Well hello all! I've been thinking lately, and felt like posting.
I've been kind of hanging on by my teeth lately... eating well for a couple weeks, then eating horribly for a week, then eating well again...
Which isn't good.
So I really started to examine it. Honestly, I think maintenance is all mental. It's all in our control, but we still have to understand how our mind works to work WITH it, you know?
I started realizing some of the things that set me off...
Being offered food is a big one.. not that I can't say no, but all of a sudden, I WANT it, and it calls me.
Another one is being in a buffet style area for a long time. I'm fine at the school cafeteria because I take what I want, eat it, and leave. But like... holidays, or luncheons... while the food is just sitting out for a few hours while people talk... I keep eyeing it down, and grabbing more.
But I figured out my biggest trigger... "I can't have this every day." That is genuinely the biggest trigger for my overeating. I went to a luncheon that had good food and dessert and I WAY overate and all the temptation came from knowing that I "couldn't have that kind of food every day." Honestly, that attitude is fine. IF you're only getting it a few times a year. But for me it can come to be a few times a week! So if I really want to be a successful maintainer, I need to change my mindset. I mean, it's so easy in the caf. I walk right by those desserts EVERY day, and I never touch them. I know they'll always be there, if I ever want one. But they simply don't exist to me; they're not an option, they're not in my world. That's the key right there. I need to extend that outward more. When you tell yourself it's not even in the picture for consideration, it's so easy not to eat. For me, I simply don't drink liquid calories anymore except for milk and things with milk in them (like smoothies). Anything else... just doesn't exist to me. So I'm never even tempted.
But then all of a sudden it's like, "Oh! Look at that red velvet cake! I should have a piece. You don't get THAT every day." It's a very flawed mindset. You don't *need* cake. I could never have dessert again, and I'd probably be better off for it. Cake contributes nothing to your health, and we don't *need* it for anything.
Because I'm starting to think moderation isn't so great for me.. once I start eating junk food, I want more and more and more. And I CAN resist, but then it's hard. So why even start eating it in the first place? I don't need it anyway. Maybe once in a while... but trying to practice that much moderation is just too much effort for what I get out of it. Healthy food tastes good too, anyway!
Lastly, I no longer underestimate a plan, even if a vague one. I always have trouble eating breakfast at the school cafeteria, because 80% of the food is VERY fried. We typically have rice, tater tots, sausage patties, breakfast biscuits with cheese and egg, french toast, pastries, watery oatmeal, cereal, and pineapple. I would always go and see the tater tots and end up taking those and the sausage and french toast and breakfast biscuits... which isn't healthy. But today I told myself, "The tater tots are not an option. So just move on." I PLANNED to only eat the oatmeal, cereal (cornflakes), and fruit. Because I PLANNED that and decided, suddenly, resisting all that other food was easy, because I was prepared. That seems important.
I guess I'm just kind of ranting. Stream of consciousness, anyone? I just can'th help but thingking how that is why I really have to remember that it's my CHOICE to eat these foods. It's not something out of my control. It's been in my hands all along, but I just didn't realize it. If I plan and don't start eating the junk in the first place, my body thanks me, and that's what's most important, right? What is the point of being thin if I don't live long because I'm so unhealthy? Forget it!
Thank you 3FC for always being there to help me on my journey. It's a real eye opener here sometimes.
Hi Meg! It's great to see you here and we all look forward to getting to know you better.
I totally agree that most of maintenance (and weight loss) is mental. It happens in our heads, not our bodies. You did a fantastic job of analysis in your post, so keep on stream-of-consciousing! I think weight loss and maintenance are a journey of self-discovery, above all.
It sounds like you live in a really challenging food environment, with a lot of every day temptations. For most of us, planning is key but for you, it's essential!! I'm really impressed with how well you've done in the face of all that temptation.
About moderation in eating unhealthy foods -- it works for some people and it doesn't for others. So long as we each figure out where we fall on the spectrum, it's good. I'm like you because it's much easier for me not to eat the first cookie than not to eat the second. One cookie is too many and a dozen aren't enough. If I wasn't able to moderate healthy food, like apples, and found myself avoiding them, I'd think it was a problem. But when it's unhealthy food -- ehh -- like you say, who needs it anyway?
Healthy food IS delicious and it certainly isn't a punishment! It seems like the longer I go without indulging in unhealthy food, the less I want it. Cravings are just food memories, after all, and they fade over time. I used to have a huge, huge problem with donuts, even after I reached goal. Cravings, fantasies, the whole thing. The last donut I ate was in October, 2004 (or 2005? now I've lost track but it was definitely October!) Now donuts are meaningless to me and when I see one, it's like it's plastic food. I don't have any interest in it. There's no chance in the world that I would ever eat another donut and set off that whole cycle of cravings again.
Anyway, I'm sitting here looking at it snow and rambling too.
PLANNING is vital. Whether I'm home or outside of the home. Whatever event I'm attending I decide IN ADVANCE which things I will eat and which ones I will TOTALLY avoid. Making that decision ahead of time makes it so much EASIER to avoid the off plan foods. It takes away the decision making process at a crucial time - when I'm in front of the temptation. It takes away the should I?/shouldn't I? equation that always leads to disaster. DECIDING ahead of time that I won't touch the xyz is not restrictive to me at all - just the opposite. I feel in control over the food instead of the other way around. And then I don't miss it one bit.
Sounds like you've come across some very ground breaking realizations.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 12-19-2009 at 08:27 AM.
You know... it's all so individual. Megwini, you hear red velvet cake call to you with the lie of "you can't get this every day." Well, where I live, you really can get it every day.
A person has to eat to stay alive, but a person never has to eat any single, particular food. Frankly, I've never tasted a piece of red velvet cake that was worth eating. No problem there for me.
So I understand that mindset, but it's clear that one person's impossible temptation is another person's ho-hum. That ought to tell you something about how real those justifications are!
I agree with the need to plan. After awhile, it becomes so automatic that you never even question whether you should start with the tater tots. (I'm with you on those tater tots. Best to never start!) They have become non-food items to me. And I am absolutely confident that I won't die if I never eat another one! Like Meg and donuts.
Here's the thing. Plenty of people can't eat certain foods, but they manage just fine. I am allergic to clams. Before I became allergic, I loved them. But I can never eat them again. I'm sorry about that. But if I were suddenly to decide, "Oh, clams, I just have to have them!" I'd be asking for serious illness and possibly death.
Those junky, sugary, fat-laden foods are the same. It's just that the serious illness and death is much slower to develop...
Robin, I came here to quote your saying something like "you never once regretted not eating that special sweet that was rarely availble but there have been many times that you have eaten and then regretted it." Or something like it.
Megwini, I am in a conference this weekend. Yesterday there was food set out the entire day. I had eaten my own balance bar for bkfast, their fruit for snack. Salads and pasta were served for lunch. I avoided the pasta but those cookies and brownies were there for the whole afternoon and the fruit was taken away. So whadda you think happened . Today I am going to request that the fruit is either replenished or not taken away at all!
Robin, I came here to quote your saying something like "you never once regretted not eating that special sweet that was rarely availble but there have been many times that you have eaten and then regretted it." Or something like it.
!
"I have never, ever not eeven once NOT eaten something and regretted it. I've NEVER looked back and thought, gosh why didn't I eat that."
There is no shortage of good food to be had. If it's not red velvet cake, than it's something else. The "good" food will always be there at another time, another place. When you've planned it out in advance and have room for it in your plan - then you can enjoy it. NOT when you "see it" and think that you must have it. That's an impulse. And giving into those impulses are usually regrettable. Or in my case - always.
Because I have never, ever not even once NOT eaten something and regretted it. Never.
Sorry for never replying to this! I think I got distracted.. I found it as I was searching through all my old posts to figure out what to say for my goal story.
I AM starting to see that planning is truly vital. When you plan, you're in control. And I'm also learning that even when you want something "not so good," there's usually a healthier alternative. Today I wanted a smoothie from Surf City Squeeze, but I realized that although they use fruit, they probably also use a lot of fattening fillers, so I made my own smoothie. Frozen strawberries and blueberries, a banana, one cup vanilla yogurt, and a splash of 1% milk. Same good taste, except every ingredient is good for you.
There's ALWAYS a way; you just have to be willing to look for it.
You guys are all so inspirational!
Oh, what a good way to put it, Robin! Funnily enough, I've told others (and myself) the same thing about exercise:
I've never once gone for a run and thought afterward "gee, I wish I hadn't just wasted 45 minutes exercising." But I have skipped exercise and later regretted it.
Some reflections
For most of us, planning is key but for you, it's essential!! I'm really impressed with how well you've done in the face of all that temptation.
but it was definitely October!) Now donuts are meaningless to me and when I see one, it's like it's plastic food. I don't have any interest in it. There's no chance in the world that I would ever eat another donut and set off that whole cycle of cravings again. 
. Today I am going to request that the fruit is either replenished or not taken away at all!
Meg about the cookie and the scale!
