Hi all,

Sorry it's been a while since I've checked in! I hope you're all well, and I miss you guys.

A month ago I moved to another state, across the country, to take some classes. It was a very spur of the moment decision. I didn't know a single person in this city or state. And I moved alone. And I had never even been here/visited before.

So I am more or less on my own...22 years old....certainly not a teenager, but still, this is a big life change for me. I was living with my parents before this move.

Now I live with several roommates....one of which keeps tons of sweets around, which are my "weakness." It's really hard to resist them. At home, I just wouldn't buy them, or I'd buy single servings. (Same with my parents). She also throws a lot of get togethers which involve a lot of unhealthy food.

Even though I now have a lot of acquaintances here, it can still be kind of lonely. Sometimes I think I'm eating out of sadness/bordeom. I'm very scared of gaining.

Before the move, I was at 120 lbs. Now I'm at 125. I *do* have a scale here, and I'm weighing in almost every day, which is good. I'm also ordering my groceries online and avoiding eating out.

I guess I just wanted to vent a bit. I feel so nervous about this. I think I can really get this under control. It's just a little scary right now.

If anyone has any tips/advice, I would appreciate it so much.

Anyways, thanks for listening....

What a big and exciting change for you! I think that planning is key---good for you for getting groceries and avoiding eating out. Do you exercise? I think that I would just try to tell myself that your roommate's food is your roommate's food---not yours (even if she offers!). Remember, you control what you put in your mouth. Are you exercising?

Yep - I think that the solution is going to be two-fold. First, you have to adjust to your new circumstances and work out a new "Normal" for your situation. Do you remember when you first started your weight loss? You had to figure out how to work healthy eating and living into your existing life, right? Well, now that life has changed, and you'll just need to go through that process again a bit, to figure out how to fit your healthy habits into this new, exciting life. I'm guessing that's going to be planning, plus some fairly strict rules about your roommate's food being HERS, not yours, and that eating it would be stealing (I do that with my wife's dried fruit constantly. It's not mine, and I'm NOT going to steal it).

Second, you have to keep planning, keep monitoring, and keep a careful eye on the situation.

You've done BOTH before with weight loss and prior maintenance, so you know what to do, and you know that you CAN do it.

midwife & mandalinn~

Thank you both *so* much for getting back to me. To respond to both of your posts:

midwife~ Yes, I am exercising. Although in my personal experience, it's really food that makes or breaks my weight. I can exercise vigorously, but if I'm eating junk, I will definitely gain. But yes, I am keeping up with the same amount of exercise, so that's good. Thank you for the reminder, though, because exercise does help with keeping me in the right frame of mind.

And as for my roommate...the tricky thing is that she constantly offers me sweets. I've even explained my situation and asked her not to, but she still does in a certain way. For example, she'll say, "I'm not trying to tempt you -- BUT -- I did just order some gelato, and you're more than welcome to have some..." I really don't think there's any mean-spirited intent behind it -- she's just a very generous person. She's always saying, "my food is your food." She's a lot older than me, too, so I think she's trying to be kind of nurturing.

I think I just need to view her food as totally separate. If I eat her food, I should consider it stealing. Sounds a little extreme, but I think it's a good mindset. Separate food.

Mandalinn, you're right: I've done this before, and I can do this again. And I will do it. It's a small setback, not the end of the world. I just need to stay vigilant, weigh in, and do lots of planning.

Again, thank you both so much for taking the time to respond to my post.

I can't add much to the excellent advice here, but I will echo what was said.

I have a similar situation daily at work.

For me, I had to make a "rule" for myself - no free food - nothing offered by someone else, nothing that is not on my plan for the day.

I may go off plan by eating more of MY food, but absolutely, positively will not eat those items offered to me.

Silly as it sounds, it works. I don't have to think about each and every offer - weighing in my mind if I can/should eat it. The answer is "NO" PERIOD.

I use the 'not my food, it is essentially stealing to eat it' thought, too. I have a 4 year old stepson who currently has two Easter baskets FULL of candy still sitting on top of my refrigerator. I have to tell myself that his candy isn't my candy, and I can't take it from him. Now, we may not let him eat all of it and some of it might end up thrown away, but I won't eat any of it.

I'm sure you are correct that your roommate isn't trying to be mean spirited, just polite and trying to share! That doesn't mean that you have to take her up on it, though! And, I know change is stressful, so you are probably more likely to snack right now because you are still establishing a routine. You'll settle into a routine that will work.

You have absolutely done this before, and you can do it this time, too! Good luck!

Nineteen, I also moved to a totally new place 1200 miles from my family where I didn't know anyone straight out of college, so I hear you! It can be a little lonely and scary, I completely understand. I think you've got a lot of good advice already, I just wanted to chime in and let you know that we're always here to support you, too!

It sounds like your new roommate is really nice. Just keep politely declining the gelato and she'll get the idea - it sounds like, as you said, she's just trying to be nice/motherly. Maybe when she has food gatherings you could offer to make some delicious fruit salad for dessert, or an awesome salad (or offer her some of the fruit salad or grilled chicken breasts you made any other random time, etc.).

Also I don't know how active you are but if you do exercise I think it's a good idea to establish some activity into whatever routine you're forming in your new environment. Set your gym time or take advantage of outdoor activities in your new place. Maybe you live close to a great walking track, or it's a great place to hike or kayak or... you get the idea. You could even invite your roommates to join you on that hike, etc.

Good luck! We're always around when you need support, too.

GOOD news: I've lost a pound! Scale showed 124 the past two days.

Will change my ticker to 124

Counting Down~ I totally agree. That's awesome that you really stick to it.

Shannon~ Thank you! I *know* I can and *will* do this.

Megan~ I will absolutely keep (politely) declining food from my roommate. In fact, she offered me Ben & Jerry's tonight, and I just instantly said, "No, that's okay, but thank you."

Oh, and I discovered a beautiful place to go running. It's absolutely gorgeous and just a few blocks away. It really helps.

Thank you all *so* much for the support. I'll keep you updated.

Woo hoo on the pound down!

Weighed in at 123 today. Another pound down!

Congratulations! Sounds like you know what to do and are doing it!

Jay

Tell us about the beautiful place where you go running.

One thing that always makes me feel better when I'm new someplace & always feel slightly disoriented or off-balance is to master my environment. The more you run in the place you've found, the more you "own" it.

This will also help you with establishing your new healthy routines. I'm all about following my little routine, with occasional variations so I don't get stale, bored or locked-in.