![]() |
I think you're probably right. How shallow.
|
Quote:
I would talk to her, after I calmed down. Ask her why she would tell people something that was untrue about you. You live in a small town as I recall, she had to know that you would find out about the comments. I definitely wouldn't put her on my 'friend' list anymore... You look great, don't let her get to you. :) |
Mindi, you're absolutely right. She's mad that YOU are thin now, too. From her perspective, she has to SHARE her secret title of being "the hot one" with you and she doesn't like it.
You look amazing. She's threatened. She needs to grow up and get over herself. :) On a side note, people who weigh, like, 101 pounds who swear they're fat truly do annoy me. When I was fat, my opinion was that anyone who didn't shop in the plus sized department had no right to gripe about weight. ;) |
it is probably an attention thing-what i think you should do is talk to her-let her know that you know what she said, and tell her that you dont have time for that kind of immaturity. i think you should tell her in a professional and calm manner-because YOU are the bigger person in the situation and need to remain there-dont stoop to her level-she isnt worth the effort!! keep your head up sunshine-we all know that you worked so hard and are proud of you!!
|
OMG...I totally feel for you because almost the exact same thing happened to me last month, and for a few days I have to admit it had me fuming and kind of burst my bubble. Weight-loss surgery or not, it's all hard work, but somehow people get the impression you took the easy way out with surgery....they can justify your perseverance with an excuse of how you managed to do it. (A compliment with an insult attached...oh so popular in my area) In my case, a gal I recently trained for her position as Village clerk came up to me at a fund raiser and just flat out told me that EVERYONE was talking about my WLS. I was shocked. I never had WLS, I never knew people thought I did, Certainly no one ever ASKED if I had WLS. I did say something stupid like I'd be happy to let them check out my stomach for surgery scars...ugh
If I remember correctly, we both live in Rural America...there is nothing better for people to talk about! We have the leading roles right now, just wait until next week when Joe Blow is sleeping with Mrs. Sleaze, or drunk Darren gets another DUI, we'll be old news. |
Oh I didn't realize it was a coworker as well, I thought it was just a friend of yours.
I agree I would come up to her and ask her why she's saying you had WLS when you didn't. That's very rude, EVEN IF you had WLS it's not her business to tell other people IMO. |
Yeah, if she is thin already then by saying she needed to lose weight, she was trying to draw attention to herself. It is hard for some people to switch roles in terms of being the 'thin one' versus someone else competing for that role.
|
Oh, Mindi. I am just so, so very sorry this was said AND got back to you. I totally, TOTALLY know EXACTLY what you are feeling since I have also experienced it. Yep, me too--worked my XXX OFF to get where I am and to have something so demeaning suggested made me want to punch someone's lights out.
I told them THEN AND THERE--"here have a a look at my stomach--NOPE, no scars--just stretch marks from my babies!" I have had a couple of friends that did do WLS and I know it's no walk in the park either--but very, very different from my own journey. Yep, so sorry you had to hear it. |
Quote:
You may want to take this with a grain of salt and take a wait and see attitude. How is this co-worker acting in the office? I think that I would make a joke about people thinking I had had WLS, and see how she reacts. Ooops, just realized that I posted to the maintainers forum and I am a long way from maintaining. I am sorry if I offended anyone! |
I've thought about that, Time2Lose...gonna come up with a comment or something and see what she says....
|
I'm with Ms Time2Lose --
You really are taking someones' word for what they overheard. It may not have been what was said at all. And you have to wonder why this friend would be so quick to phone you and tell you about something she overheard, knowing it would upset you. You can't control what people say about you. But it DOES hurt when your efforts aren't recognized, which might be the reason why you are so upset. And that is completely understandable -- you worked HARD and darn it, you need a pat on the back! Give your long-time cheerleader and supporter the benefit of the doubt. I would, because at the end of the day, this is a reporting of an overheard conversation and seems completely out of character. I would cool down a bit, and maybe next week talk to your friend, and explain what happened. Without anger. Just to clear the air. Phrased in terms of "I" --"I got a call from someone who told me that she heard you say X about me. This really is hurtful to be because I have worked so hard to get where I am, and I really need my efforts to be acknowledged. I know you have been my biggest supporter, and I appreciate it, so I just wanted to let you know what has happened..." Something like that... IMHO! Kira |
Quote:
I think making a provocative comment referring to the incident is a good idea - if she reacts, you'll know she said it, if she doesn't, she'll may think you made a sort of odd comment but it will stay at that. If she is going around saying you had WLS, I agree with what everyone else said! You've got a right to be upset! |
Quote:
Mindi - if the conversation was reported accurately, she's either jealous or loves attention - one of those "ooooh, listen to MY scoop." Telling people you lost weight via diet/exercise isn't very juicy, weight loss surgery - THAT'S some juicy news. |
Well, the person who reported it is actually a fairly good friend who I tend to trust more than the one who supposedly said it.
We've been so swamped today I haven't had time to say anything...I'll throw it in somewhere eventually and watch her face to see what happens... |
Definitely jealousy and/or feeling threatened, I think.
I understand how you feel. In itself, there's no shame in having surgery, but I tend to imagine what's happened to you as, I don't know... it's like you've been working your *** off for months to enter a prestigious school, and then someone comes and tells everyone you've only been accepted in because you're the headmaster's cousin or something. It belittles your hard work, and *this* is never a pleasant feeling. (Time2Lose -- Glory said it well enough: you do have your place here. Maintenance doesn't only start once we're at goal, IMHO it's a process that deserves to be 'worked on' while we're still losing, in order for us to not feel helpless and regain once we're there.) |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:31 PM. |
Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.