Did/do you still feel fat?
 

I am 4 lb off my goal weight, and the slimmest I have ever been in my entire adult life. My size 10 (US size 6) jeans are getting loose on me.

But I'm still not happy. I still have back fat, I still have a wobbly baby belly, I still have fat thighs. I have even considered getting a tummy tuck.

I know I need to work on toning parts of my body now - I have been terribly lax and done the least exercise I could possibly get away with. I plan on buying some body fat scales so when I hit my goal I will still have something to watch go down, if that makes sense.

But I am disappointed that I don't feel and look better.

Were you disappointed when you got to your goal weight? Did you look as good as you expected?

I was extremely disappointed when I hit my goal weight, and I did exercise. What made a real difference was completely changing the way that I exercised once I hit goal. Heavy lifting, and intense cardio completely changed the shape and composition of my body (and made me much smaller) despite very little change in scale weight.

Mel

No, I wasn't disappointed. I was thrilled. I looked better then I ever could have imagined. I know that sounds terrible, but thems the facts. ;)

But then again, I am coming from a totally different place. I think many women would be horrified by my (naked) body. I was 287 lbs at only 5 feet tall. So, for me, this was a VAST, VAST improvement. Yes, I've got some things I'd rather not have, like excess skin. But it is totally and completely undetectable in clothing. My mostly size 2 clothing, that is. So, I can't really say that I'm disappointed. You see, I never, ever was expecting perfection or anything close to it. I knew my body would be nowhere near perfect.

My biggest disappointment was/is my calves. They are still quite large. :(

I also try to focus and play up on the things that I LOVE about my body: my tiny waist, my incredibly narrow hips, my tiny rear end, my fabulous collarbones, my muscular arms and shoulders.

Well there's still plenty of time to start toning up now.

You've done a great job and should be incredibly proud of yourself. We're all works in progress.

I agree with Mel lifting heavy and intense cardio make a world of difference in shaping your body.

I reached my goal weight and have been working on my dream goal weight, 135, for a couple weeks now. I feel amazing and don't know if I need to keep going to 135. I am wearing a size 4 (US) and just don't think a size 2 would look good on my build. I have good muscle tone and prefer to keep my curves at this juncture. If I lose any more weight, I am frightened I won't fit into my two new pairs of jeans anymore, which sucks because they look good. I honestly don't have the money to keep buying more and more clothes as I go down in sizes. I think I am just going to work on toning up a little more. I also have never been a size 4 in my entire life. I am still an 8 in dresses. I am in better shape than I have been since I was a sophmore in high school. I still have back fat and a little pooch, but I don't think I would feel like myself without those things. I have had friends go overboard and lose a little too much weight and start having irregular periods and growing peach fuzz because their bodies start going into protection mode. Last night at my softball game, some of the people on our team started making comments about how I looked great, but if I lost too much more, I would start looking gross. I appreciated their honesty, but it is me that has to live in this body. Good luck to you, Robisia!

I have thin days and I have fat days. Sometimes I feel like a whale, sometimes I think I look skinny.

That said, I agree that lifting weights is a great way to change your body for the better. Loose skin doesn't look as loose if it's stretched over a big muscle!

I think that says it for everyone who has ever lost weight :D. It does take the brain :dizzy: a lot longer to be satisfied with what the body has achieved.

I really liked my body at 135 and under (original goal was 125). But the weight training with relatively light weights and not so many reps made such an awesome, noticeable difference.

I bought a full length mirror and was absolutely thrilled :carrot: with what I was developing with my personal trainer.

And I am far from "perfect" (whatever the heck that is) but I am soo happy :yay: with what I've got. I guess being older (51) makes a difference too. I am not striving to look like any of the (anorexic to me) young things pictured in the media.

I am a relatively short, curvy, strong, muscular woman. Yahoo for me! :cheer: :cheer2:

Dagmar :cool:

My figure didn't become perfect when I reached goal but there is a lot less of it , so it looks much better.
What is really annoying in my case is I am starting cancer treatment and will probably lose weight. I didn't want to lose it this way. So I will be wanting to gain weight to get back to goal, crazy isn;t it ?

Oh, Robsia, I fight this problem all the time. It's like this Fairy Tale that if you loose your excess weight, you will some how magically gain a perfect, beautiful body. I've lost the weight, and now I have a slimmer average body. Exercise has really helped, but, I never be "Supermodel" material. But guess what? SO WHAT? I'm trying to focus on how GREAT I feel and how much I can do with this "average" body. It's a whole lot more that I used to! My body ROCKS, because it does everything I tell it to without pain, and my DH thinks that it is pretty cute. Lets all celebrate form and function over style today!

Hi, I wrote a post just like this not too long ago. Yes, I have days when I still feel fat. I "know" i'm not, but like one of the others said, it takes the brain awhile to catch up. I can look at at picture of myself and see that i'm thin, I just can't always see it in a mirror.

I set a goal of 115 or a size 6 jean, which ever came first. Actually, they both kind of come around together!! ha!! I said I would re-evaluate as I went along.

I'm 60. I'm never going to look like I did when I was 40, or even 50. But I get complements on how "fit" i look. There are parts of my body I would like to change. I would like to have a really flat stomach, like I did when I was 20. I've pretty well resigned myself that it just ain't gonna happen!! I have big arms, inherited from my mom. No matter how much I lose they are going to be big by comparison. But they are actually pretty toned and have a little defination going on there! Work with what you have, accept limitations. Know that you are the best you can be.

And yes, exercise is a MUST!!! It makes so much difference!

Oh, Bargoo, I just read your post above. I'm so sorry to hear that you have to go through cancer treatment. Your posts are always so wise and witty, and so full of strength. You always inspire me! I know that your wonderful inner reserves will get you through this, but I'll send along a personal "quantom" of positive energy your way in case your well needs a few extra drops. Please take extra, pampering care of yourself today.

I'm where you are Robsia, I reached my goal weight, but still have the tummy & thigh fat, but it is the tummy fat that really bothers me. I added in weight/resistance training, I'm hoping that will help with the shaping.

Today I'm focusing on the size six pants I have on and not thinking about the poochy tummy! :)

[QUOTE=paperclippy;2363782]I have thin days and I have fat days. Sometimes I feel like a whale, sometimes I think I look skinny.

QUOTE]

Exactly! I KNOW that I am the same size everyday, but some days I feel big and bulky, and others I feel dainty. It's sort of like the bad hair days that no one else notices.

First of all - WOO-HOO you :bravo: for all the work you've done and the great progress you've made. :cheer2::cp::cheer3:

I honestly think that happiness with your new body is every bit as much a state of mind as it is a state of pounds. I know that when I got "scary skinny" when I was in my 20s I still wasn't happy with my body - I thought I needed to keep losing weight because I still had cellulite and thought my thighs were enormous and disgustingly wobbly. At 115 lbs I still felt like a cow :shrug:

This time around, I'm not even at goal yet but I'm already ecstatic with the changes. I still have 'squishy' spots I'm working on and trying to improve with exercise but it just isn't that important to me that I'm never going to be asked to do a Bowflex commercial. What's important to me now is how I feel when I walk across the room - strong and confident.

It's going to take a little work on your part (as far as you've come, a little work isn't going to scare you ;) ) but you need to start focusing more on your positive aspects than on the parts that aren't perfect. Congratulate yourself for all those little tiny jeans you can fit into now. Figure out an exercise plan that's going to help you tone those spots you don't like and buy yourself a couple of nicely tailored blouses that camouflage the parts you still aren't happy with. You don't have to strut around the gym in nothing but bicycle shorts and a sports bra to look hot. Feeling good is the best motivation I've found to keep working and improving.

Just hang in there and you'll be feeling great before you know it :hug:

Oooh Bargoo, I was typing when you posted. I'm so sorry to hear you have such a big challenge ahead of you :hug:

But from what I've read of your posts, I see you as a strong willed, positive person who is going to come through this with dignity and humor in tact. :hug:

Slim - I'm 63 and I'm with you. A flat tummy is never going to happen again, and the arms still flap. But yup, it's sooo much better, and improves your health!

Bargoo - I have 3 friends - 2 with breast cancer, one with a rare kidney cancer - who have not lost any weight with treatment. OTOH, my DH lost - and kept off - over 40 lbs. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

To Circebee, YoYo and WaterRat, Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers. They are greatly appreciated.

Thanks everyone for your comments! Kind of glad this is normal - I think I just thought I'd instantly get the toned tummy as soon as I hit goal.

Never that easy!

bargoo - I hope everything goes well for you.

I have gone below my goal weight by 5 or 6# but I still feel fat some days. My stomach and thighs are jiggly. My upper arms are saggy. I've always thought my butt is too big for my smallish waist. I have trouble finding jeans that fit, when they fit in the butt, they're too big in the waist.

I know my self image does not reflect what I look like though. I had a co-worker the other day take me aside and tell me she was concerned and warned me not to lose any more weight. (I'm not trying to - I eat South Beach diet and eat high quality, very filling foods and do not have any trouble filling up.) I am amazed at the size of clothes I wear (2-4 in jeans) since I certainly don't think I look like I would wear that size.

It's hard to wrap my head around it most of the time. I'm actually self-conscious about it when my friends at work comment on my figure. Sometimes I get annoyed with it and would like them to stop with the comments. I do not like attention drawn to myself and find it embarrassing. :(

Robsia -- I'm two pounds from goal and I definitely am not satisfied with how I look either, particularly naked. In street clothes I think I look fine. But I've stil got lots of things I want to work on!

I feel like several others -- I have my "fat" days and thin days. I weigh less now than most of my adult life, but I still have days that I just feel pudgy and out of control. My body still isn't "perfect", and it never will be. I can't help being a pear-shape, and some areas are saggy. (partly due to weight loss and partly to middle-age!) I still continue to work on it through diet and exercise and I think I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be model-perfect. But I'm pretty doggone good for an old, short chick!!

I've found that the way I feel about my body is directly related ton the way I'm feeling in general. If I'm having a good day, I feel great about it - but if my day goes badly, my mind compounds my weight into what's stressing me.

I'm sure flabby arms will be part of story until the end. That and a saggy butt. I do get a flat tummy when I dip below 140, so I concentrate on that! I love it when the waistband of my pants isn't tight so who cares if I'm not as skinny as I wish I were. I simply concentrate on my assets rather than my deficits.

I'm one of those folks whose body shape image is thinner than their current actual shape. Even at my HW I felt thin. But when I forced myself to face facts and stared at the rolls in the mirror, I realized how much I needed to lose weight.

My original goal weight of 150 was on the conservative side, so it's not surprising I was disappointed with my shape at that weight. But as I approach my revised goal (I weighed 140 this AM, but not an official weigh-in), I am still disappointed. No rolls any more (yay!!!) but I still have my midlife, post-pregnancy poochy belly in addition to the fat inner thighs I had even as a slim young adult.

But as soon I step away from the mirror, I go back to feeling like I am thin. Until the next time.

Great topic! Most days I feel great - healthy & strong - and that's always been my primary goal. I have had to adjust to my naked body and I'm still not completely comfortable with it. I guess its a work in progress. I was laughing a couple of days ago because I was wearing size 4 pants (after being in a 24, tight) and thinking my a** looked big. How is that possible?! As others have said when we have been significantly overweight and for a long time our bodies will never look quite like those toned, naturally thin gals, even in the same size. I can live with that but it does still surprise me sometimes.

Bargoo - My thoughts are with you :hug:

I am the same. I am 113, sounds skinny right? But sometimes, I don't feel it. My stomach is still far from flat and my thighs and arms flabby. I am however still exercising, and trying to add toning exercises to change that.
Before I lost weight, when people complained about feeling fat at say, 115, I would be thinking to myself
'These people are attention seekers! They know full well they are not fat, they want nothing but compliments'

But I can understand where they are coming from now.

Um, I guess I'm in the minority here. I don't think women in general are meant to have flat stomachs. Our genetics just aren't geared toward that, they are geared towards bearing children (sorry that's just how I feel it is.) Even models get airbrushed to look perfect.

I've never had a flat stomach, even when I was much thinner then my current goal weight. I have somewhat chunky thighs too. That's just my body. Don't get me wrong, I have days where I'm unsatisfied with my unclothed body, but most days I like my body just fine. I don't feel stressing over it is going to solve anything.

I just think that western society puts too much emphasis on an unattainable perfection when it comes to body image. Learn to love your body as much as possible, if you want to improve it through exercise, that's a great goal, but don't go into it expecting perfection that isn't possible.

bargoo~ Sorry to hear about the treatments you're going through! :hug:

Yes, I was dissapointed after losing weight. I am still dissapointed but I have learned to accept who I am. I started at 5'10 225lbs and now I'm 140lbs. The problem is that I still have a gut and lost all the weight on my arms and face so I look like a skelton but a big gut, lol. Its been 5 years now and I've managed to stay on track so I am happy. I've also learned that I am never happy with anything, which I think has helped me be so successful in life because I always strive to do better.

BTW I am a guy. Too bad there isn't a site named three fat guys, lol

I made a discovery last night.

I met up with a guy I had been chatting to for some time on the internet. I felt very comfortable with him and told him all about my weight loss. I pointed to a girl in a bar who was rahter large and said I had been bigger than her.

His response - "So what?"

He said it was all about what was inside, he'd still like me no matter what size I was, and he had been out with girls much bigger than the girl I had pointed out.

So suddenly I feel a whole lot better about my slightly saggy belly.

Yep, apparently I expected that when I lost weight I'd look like my memory as an in-shape 20 year old. Since I focused on being fat, I had overlooked that simultaneously while gaining weight, I was getting older. And an older male body isn't so great to look at in the best of times, LOL. DW just laughs at me when I complain at my image in the mirror.

Big Kudos for staying on track for 5 years. That puts you in a very small group of successful maintainers.

Yep, it'd be nice to have a "three fat guys", but we'll just have to support each other at our chance encounters here on 3FC. What's the secret of your success for so long?

"Were you disappointed when you got to your goal weight?"
HECK NO! Like Robin, I was THRILLED! By the time I hit goal, I could fit most of my "thin clothes" (size 4-6), some of my girlfriend's clothes (size 2-4), I was much, much healthier, felt a whole lot better physically, no longer felt the guilt and shame of being overweight in a shallow college town, and people complimented me all the time. WHY in the WORLD would I be DISAPPOINTED?

" Did you look as good as you expected?"
Now, yes, there WERE some things I found disappoint*ing*. I actually did have a pretty flat stomach, BUT despite being flat, it looked like a deflated balloon. I was an "apple" shape before I lost weight, so the biggest amount lost was from my stomach (went from a 33" waist to a 26.5"). I was hoping to confidently strut around the beach in a bikini by the time I hit goal, but that wasn't quite the case. I also had trace amounts of backfat. But yes, actually, overall, I looked as good as I expected - I looked almost exactly like I did when I was 18 (before I ever got fat!) :D

For those who are mentioning how some parts of you still jiggle, start hitting the weights! :) If you train hard and lift heavy, I guarantee a good portion of your jiggly will go away. It helps tremendously in reducing your percent body fat (for instance, my percent body fat right when I hit goal was 19% - which I was INCREDIBLY HAPPY about - BUT now it's 15.5-16% even though the scale number has not changed any). I know everyone is different, but for me, being a muscular woman gives me an immense sense of confidence... especially knowing I couldn't possibly SEE all these muscles if there was a layer of fat covering them ;) Like Mel said, your entire body shape will change.

Zenor77 said:
"I just think that western society puts too much emphasis on an unattainable perfection when it comes to body image."

I agree SO much with that. Our society teaches us to basically hate ourselves so that someone else can make money from our insecurities. No one actually has the "perfect" body. If they did, tummy tucks, liposuction, and breast implants would not be so popular. And the models would not be so frequently airbrushed -- and trust me, they are -- I used to do a bit of modeling back in my teen years. I remember doing a shoot for Tommy Hilfiger where I was sitting down with this guy. I was wearing a low cut shirt, but he wasn't wearing one. His stomach ripped/overlapped a little bit because he was SITTING DOWN despite having some nice abs. They photoshopped that right out and made his stomach look seamless :lol:

Yes, absolutely congrats on 5 years. It is so encouraging to all of us still losing. I love to hear it.

You may not be a chick, but there's also a whole lot more than 3 of us here ;). So it's all good :carrot:.

He sounds like a keeper!

Were you disappointed when you got to your goal weight?
God no. I had been heavy my entire adult life. I weigh less now than I did in high school - I have never been this slender.

Yes - I have some loose skin (particularly on my belly, inner thighs and arm pits). But I look AMAZING in clothes. I love shopping, I love getting dressed in the morning.

One thing I have done is accept my body - I may have lost weight, but my old problem areas are still my problem areas (thighs, belly). Losing weight was great, but it wasn't a miracle - it gave me a more slender version of my body, it did not give me a different body.

Did you look as good as you expected?

I look far far better than I could ever have expected. I never dreamed of wearing a bikini, but I can confidently wear a nice tankini/swim skirt and feel pretty. I always thought I had hideous fat arms, imagine my surprise when my arms turned out slim and pretty.

I'm 39 years old and I was obese for 20 years, I look amazing!

I don't think my mind has quite caught up to my body. By all accounts (friends/family/boyfriend) I am TINY, skinny, going to blow away (etc etc) and I don't see that at all. I think it's because I'm pear shaped. My face is thin, my upper body is small (even I can see that) but I still have a butt and a belly and thighs. I don't think I'm fat per se, but I dont think I am super skinny either (like people around me seem to think).

I was disappointed when I hit 130. First, because it was so hard for me to maintain (I'm more comfortable at 135) and second, I didn't feel any different from say 150. I think part of that had to do with the fact that my body image was still quite damaged from being obese and what I put myself through. Now that I have had a few years for my brain to catch up and my body image is back into focus, my expectations are where they should be. After a lifetime of never being able to lose weight and resigning myself to a life of obesity and never ever feeling "thin" or wearing normal sizes, I was suddenly LOSING the weight. It was just so easy to have these new grand expectations after learning what I could accomplish whether they were realistic expactions or not.

I really think that the disappointment with me was directly due to the fact that my body and self image had not adjusted to my body, which I think was immaturity on my part. I have said before that losing this weight made me grow up in a lot of ways and learning to recognize reasonable and unreasonable expectations has served me outside of weightloss as well.

Did I look as good as I expected? Honestly, I had NO IDEA what to expect. I knew I would have loose skin and that my stomach would never be taut and I was surprised at some developments (like loose skin at the top of my inner thighs. How WEIRD.) Overall, I was elated to lose weight period, but there were things here and there that I was not (and still am not) happy with.

I will say that now I see results a lot faster in regards to muscle definition and I can actually track progress and make fitness goals for myself, which helps tremendously.

So true! All of the women in my family (both sides) are small-framed, petite women. None of them have ever struggled with their weight. Ever. However, from my great-grandmothers on down, there is the "pooch". Wide hips, narrow hips, long skinny legs, broad shoulders... it doesn't matter. Everyone has the pooch. I mean, where else do the babies go? ;) Also, I would say that helped with my expectations re: my stomach. I knew from pure genetics I wouldn't have a flat stomach.

Bargoo- I will be praying for a smooth course of treatment and a speedy recovery! :hug:

I think so too! :)

The secret of my success is being OCD on everything weight related and worry 24/7 about my weight. Not exactly a good thing, it makes for some very big mood swings. If you read in the introduction board I have made a goal to give up the scale and so far I'm winnning :) and feel better.