I have to run out now but will be back. I need to talk with you all about body image issues. Did you all hit a wall when you got maybe where I am, around 200? I sabotage myself here and almost cannot go on losing, I even overeat to get right above 200 again. I think I feel safe there. I have been heavy, almost heavier than most ppl in class at school, etc. since I was 5 years old. Did those of you who lost over 100 lbs feel weird halfway thru? I talked with another girl on here who lost 100 and she said it does feel weird when ppl open doors for her etc that never happened before and it's like we are 'spying in the normal world' but aren't sure we belong there? It's just annoying how we weren't worth those things before. I know some ppl feel this too. I want to move on for my health but I also don't like when ppl are talking badly about heavy ppl and they don't know I was one before. It'll only be worse for me when I'm really small. But I do want to be small. And I feel I can be small. I KNOW what to do to lose. No problem there. And I want to do it THIS year, not next or the next. What advice do you all have for me so that I can move forward without a hitch, without worry, without regret or fear?
Thank you so much for taking time out to help me with this!
Hugs, Selina
PS I'll be checking back all week for your advice. I need it, starting the newest TBL challenge, lost 42+ on the blue team, came in 3rd or so on the one before last, but was at 200 this last time and got to 194 and gained back to 205 (well some of that is PMS right now, lol. but about 202 or 201.) Please enlighten me!!!!
Hello, I did not lose 100 pounds, but my husband has, (started at 317, now about 195). He is maintaining now, and can probably lose a bit more if he increases his exercise, if he wants, but he is pretty happy with the situation. I mention him because your post reminds me of what he has told me about past attempts. He was overweight from birth, and everyone from his past has this image of him, and all these memories of the "husky" kid. The fat kid on the swim team. Etc. This time is the 3rd time he has lost a lot of weight, in the 100 pound range, first in college, later about 20 years ago, and now this time. He has told me some of the same things you said, about how people treat overweight people - in his case he felt it was the hypocrisy (I know I didn't spell this correctly but I can't figure out what's wrong with it!) of HS and college girls who would not give him a glance when he was heavier, but when he lost weight -- a new story. Then 2nd time - it was the same thing, only it was how people at work treated him.
Both times, he fell back into his old habits very easily - I think he was more comfortable with being the fat guy, because that was what he was used to. What's different this time, and I think this time he will stay with his new weight, is the following:
He decided to change his life rather than "diet". Health problems woke him up to the idea that the quality and length of his life were in question, it was not just appearance this time. Other people were not dealing with his health, he was - and it was his future, not theirs. He continually reminds himself of this and that he cannot afford to fall back to his old ways. Just because they saw him as the fat kid does not mean that is the way it is now.
He exercised as well as changing his eating habits - now he enjoys doing it and it has become a part of his life. He has started to identify with a new image of himself and not with the old one and works to stay with that idea. Just ran his first ever 5K, a goal he has had for years and years.
Most of all I think he focused this time on what he wanted from the weight loss, not what others thought or said (although he is happy to accept compliments and is very proud of his new fit self). I believe this time he was able to believe he deserved to be healthier and look fitter, and he did not pay attention to the outside world. Plenty of people have given him compliments that have more than a grain of jealousy in them (if he succeeded, why aren't they able to? He's supposed to be the fat guy in group, etc., now he's not, etc.) and in the past I think he may have listened to them. This time he has decided to do what he does for himself. I think that's the difference.
I think the change in his self image was difficult, but I have seen him really get more confident, and it's just great. It did not come overnight (he has been losing for about 2 1/2 years) and there were many phases to it. It took time for him to come to grips with each change.
I think it is a matter of sometimes you plunge ahead even if you are uncertain about it, just having faith it will work out. As I look back I can see that is what he did, and though I did not lose as much, I feel the same way. Just taking it one day at a time, and reminding yourself of what you hope to achieve, never mind the rest of the world's opinion of it. I don't know if you can get rid of worry, regret, and fear, maybe just recognize they are there, and that you can get past them. You know this because you have already come so far, and you would not have done it without this ability.
Don't know if this helps. Just thought you might like to hear that others have thought the same things. Good luck.
I'd have to go along with what Pink said about her husband, people do definitely treat you differently when you look "normal." I've been obese my whole life until very recently and the changes you see in people are astonishing. It's still hard for me to get to used to it all, my mind's still catching up with my body. As for people making fun of overweight people in front of me, I'll speak up about it. Most people don't know I used to be bigger, so I guess it comes as a surprise, but that kind of ignorance used to hurt me so I just don't put up with it. It really shouldn't matter if someone's overweight or if they look "different," they're still a person and deserve to be treated as such. Most people have no idea how much of a stuggle it is to be obese, they just think that we're all fat and lazy and don't give a damn...that couldn't be further from the truth. And, unless you've been there, you have no idea what it's like. So, don't worry about other people, who cares what they think. You're losing weight for yourself, you're not doing it for them, so don't worry about them. Worry about your health and your well-being and realize that as continue on, you're giving yourself a chance for a longer, healthier life.
Thank you everyone who replied. It does help to hear that I'm not nuts! I've lost before too, and allowed it to come back. I'm so tired of it all. I sometimes worry that it's the fact that after I'm done losing, there are no more challenges to race in, no more 'plans'. Stupid, but I read that somewhere, maybe that's some of it? I'm so used to 'needing to lose' that when I don't need to anymore, maybe part of me leaves with it? It's been as long as I can remember that I've 'wanted to lose weight.'
Either way, I think this time around I am so determined that it won't matter WHAT I'm freaked out about, I'm still gonna do it! It's true, you do have to just have faith and go forward anyway! Thanks so much for your thoughts, and if you have any more advice I wanna hear that too!
Pink, you lost a lot too! Don't be so modest! Wow! That's great!
Griff, you look fantastic! Awesome job!! I can't wait to just hit my 177 and be down 100 lbs. You and I were almost the same weight! Congrats on hitting goal!
Oh and believe me, I know that I will find something else to work toward, like toning and also coming here to help anyone else when I'm at my goal. It's just weird to be so close and still have doubts.
I also wanted to thank you, Meg for moving this. I seem to always put my questions in the wrong place! LOL. One day I'll learn!
I made myself a small sign and posted it on my refrigerator ,, it says.,"Do not sabotage your diet". It is a constant reminder that I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to food.
Ah, if only we could stop doing this. I try to remember a quote I heard somewhere, "If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the answer!" I like Bargoo's strategy of reminders in places that tempt us (mine needs to go on the PB jar! ). I also do not keep much in the else in the house that sets me off. If I crave it, the fact that I need to drive 4 miles to town to get it usually keeps me from giving in.
Self Sabotage?
). I also do not keep much in the else in the house that sets me off. If I crave it, the fact that I need to drive 4 miles to town to get it usually keeps me from giving in.
