Originally Posted by JayEll:
I was not overweight growing up, and I was pretty much a normal-weight adult for a lot of years. I gained a bunch of weight starting around my mid-30s and it just went up (and down and up and down and up, each time higher up) from there until I got to 198.

So no, I don't feel that losing weight has made me a different person--I feel that gaining weight made me someone I was not. I now feel more like the "real me" again.

Jay

Interesting. As someone who was always overweight, I now feel like I am finally the "real me".

First of all I was very thin most of my life....for most of my adult life I was 6 foot tall and weighed around 155-160. After I turned 40 I slowly put weight on until I weighed 201 at 53. Now I am at 175...not a huge loss...but I "feel" a lot different without that 25 extra pounds...I am the same person...

got me to thinkin' though...

I am a drywall finisher ~ my material (mud) comes in 50 pound boxes. We usually throw a box on our shoulder, carry it to the area we are working in, mix it up and use it...over and over all day long.

Now I suppose if I had to carry that 50 pound box on my shoulder ALL day long...ALL night long...Wherever I went....trying to cloth it...feed it...hide it....I suppose that the :devil: little monster :devil:

would change me...make me :mad: mad...:mad:angry...self conscience...make me cranky.....upset with myself....embarrassed....disgusted......

Another change is that it's really brought some work-life balance to my life. I worked long hours before I started exercising. When I worked in an office, it was not unusual for me to get to the office at 9 AM and work until 7 or 8 PM, with no breaks. I ate (if you could call it eating--it was more like inhaling) lunch at my desk. My afternoon break was a 30 second walk to the vending machine to buy a bag of M&Ms.

To get to where I am today, I had to make exercising a bigger priority in my life than work. I no longer work days like that, because I have to take time out to go to the gym. No matter what kind of pressure I am under at work, exercise is a higher priority (the only exception is our one-week conference in the fall). I also have to take time out from work to make a healthy lunch and healthy snacks. So I have much more balanced life now.

Originally Posted by rockinrobin:
I am without a doubt friendlier. I always though I compensated for my weight by being almost overly friendly, but in retrospect, that's not so true. I am much friendlier and open now. I gab with anyone and everyone. In stores, the bank, you name it.

It's strange, but I am chattier too! Maybe because I am more confident. I wouldn't say I'll chat with anyone, but I'm definitely more likely to chat with strangers than I was before.

Yes, I am the same person. Jay's post resonates with me.

While I definitely am more active and thus seem more outgoing because I participate in activities that I used to shun, I don't think my personality has changed much. I was a happy person at 215 lbs. It was only in the last couple years that I discovered that I was becoming less mobile and less able to live life the way I wanted to live it. Until that time, I really didn't consider my weight limiting or even think about it much (except when shopping for clothes). While I had days where I wished I weighed less, they were few. I've never been athletic (even when thin) so NOT doing sports and physical stuff has always been the norm.

That being said, I feel that losing this weight will allow me to continue to be me. If I had continued to get older and stayed 215 lbs., my quality of life would have slowly deteriorated. Hitting 50, starting to experience times where I couldn't keep up and participate in family life was my wake-up call. Losing weight is truly life-preserving for me. Now, I can continue to be ME and continue to improve ME in new and exciting ways :)

Originally Posted by BlueToBlue:
Another change is that it's really brought some work-life balance to my life. I worked long hours before I started exercising. When I worked in an office, it was not unusual for me to get to the office at 9 AM and work until 7 or 8 PM, with no breaks. I ate (if you could call it eating--it was more like inhaling) lunch at my desk. My afternoon break was a 30 second walk to the vending machine to buy a bag of M&Ms.

Barbara - thank you for posting this. I am still in that place where work is more important than exercise. And your schedule and day looked a lot like mine do (except for the M&Ms :lol:

But, I am working on changing this. Ever so slowly, I am moving in the right direction. Your post has inspired me to make a goal for myself to cut back on my work schedule by 5% for the next 4 weeks. Balance is such an important thing. With eating, with work, with exercise, with - well - life.

I reread my response and realize how negative I sounded! There's a lot of truth to what I said, but I was also feeling very cranky that day! I hope I didn't discourage anybody. It's all worth it. It's just not ALL perfection when you do lose weight. That doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

Ditto to the comment about work-life balance. To lose the weight and keep it off, I have to maintain my exercise routine and make that a priority. If my workout routine goes off track, my eating tends to go off track also. Since working out helps to cope with stress (I love those endorphin highs!), I do think I am generally happier. I think that the exercise component has as much impact (or more) on my psychological state as the weight loss.

I have SO much more energy now, and I am in better shape now that I can ever remember. To me, that is the greatest benefit. Being a 40-something female (OK, edging up on 50), maintaining strength and muscle mass is very important to me. I want to be optimally functional, for as long as I can. Appearance is secondary, but that's a nice benefit too!!

Personality-wise though, I think I'm pretty much the same, I'm just handling life stress better and getting more work out of my day. I also am much more willing to try new sports activities, because I have more confidence in my physical abilities. And, clothes shopping is MUCH more fun now! :D

I am not the same person at all. Before I lost weight I had to clear up some significant lifelong issues, and that made me unrecognizable to some people I've known all my life right away. I learned to handle life in a totally different manner, and I began to value my life in a way I had not done earlier. Losing weight was made possible by my other changes, an outgrowth of that change in attitude, and is not totally the reason for my different outlook, but it certainly has changed a lot of aspects of my life -it's taken worries away from me about my health, my appearance, my ability to do things, what will happen to me as I get older - it's improved all of those. I am also quite happy to be noticed for my fit body and my athletic accomplishments now, and I'm grateful for the many more actitivities I can participate in (I ran my first 5K ever last week and when I say ran, I really did run every step, my goal!).

I've also found that for me, what and how I eat really affects my mental outlook, something I had not understood, and a better diet has made a lot of difference in my temperament. I've found that if my energy stays even, my behavior stays a lot more in balance, as well.

People who have known me in the past and not seen me for some time don't even recognize me, and I find that hilarious. People who have known me and went along this whole journey with me are quite open in saying how much I've changed for the better. I feel this myself and I'm proud of myself for all the hard work and persistance. And, I'm so much more at peace with life, content with things, I just can't say what a relief it is to live this way.

Originally Posted by Pink Geranium:
I am not the same person at all. Before I lost weight I had to clear up some significant lifelong issues, and that made me unrecognizable to some people I've known all my life right away. I learned to handle life in a totally different manner, and I began to value my life in a way I had not done earlier. Losing weight was made possible by my other changes, an outgrowth of that change in attitude, and is not totally the reason for my different outlook, but it certainly has changed a lot of aspects of my life -it's taken worries away from me about my health, my appearance, my ability to do things, what will happen to me as I get older - it's improved all of those. I am also quite happy to be noticed for my fit body and my athletic accomplishments now, and I'm grateful for the many more actitivities I can participate in (I ran my first 5K ever last week and when I say ran, I really did run every step, my goal!).

I've also found that for me, what and how I eat really affects my mental outlook, something I had not understood, and a better diet has made a lot of difference in my temperament. I've found that if my energy stays even, my behavior stays a lot more in balance, as well.

People who have known me in the past and not seen me for some time don't even recognize me, and I find that hilarious. People who have known me and went along this whole journey with me are quite open in saying how much I've changed for the better. I feel this myself and I'm proud of myself for all the hard work and persistance. And, I'm so much more at peace with life, content with things, I just can't say what a relief it is to live this way.

:bravo::bravo::bravo:

Incredibly, incredibly cool. Incredibly, incredibly well said. I can so very relate to each and everything you've written.

I find that in my life there is no one, absolutely no one who can possibly understand all the changes that I've gone through. Certainly physically, but so much mentally as well. It's a very strange feeling to have gone through something so drastic and not have one single solitary person be able to relate to it. It's a very isolating feeling at times. I don't know, that's what struck me when I read your post. How much the folks here at 3FC DO understand, yet no one in my, for lack of a better word, "real" world does. :(

What a thought-provoking topic. I have certainly changed a whole lot since losing weight, but I also paired big life events with weight loss. I lost some weight in high school, some in college, and then moved 1200 miles from my family to a place I'd never been for a job when I graduated, and finished losing weight/adopted my current health habits. I certainly more confidence now. I'd guess my personality change is a combo - people naturally change in personality as they go through school and get out into "the real world", and I'm also more self-confident. In h.s. I was a classic overachiever. I studied hard, took as many AP classes as I could, I was involved in so many extracurriculars. I could never say no to anyone, and rarely expressed my opinion. As a result I was chronically sleep-deprived and stressed. I didn't feel like I had my own life - I had the one my parents wanted me to have. I look back on these as my "doormat years."

My first two years of college were really stressful. I nearly gave myself a nervous breakdown, I was studying so hard. I suddenly realized this was my chance to do what I had always dreamed of, and wouldn't be in a place to do it financially again. I spent my junior year studying abroad and actually had fun, experienced life. Senior year my goal was to finish school and get out of this environment that I no longer liked, b/c I knew it made me physically miserable.

Now I do a lot of things that were totally foreign to me 10 years ago. I run around on boats all day. I scuba dive. I haul around heavy gear. I don't even give it a second thought. It doesn't seem crazy to me now, except when I talk to friends from high school or my family who knew me back then, and they say to me, "wow", about my life now.

I agree with what Barbara said - I have a lot more balance in my life now. I really enjoy cooking healthily and exercising, but beyond that I have more of a social life, more hobbies at home (gardening, keeping my fish tank), am active in local theater, in addition to my job. But the hobbies and activities are ones I want to be involved in. I'm more selective now, and am more fully involved in the ones I choose to be involved in. I express my opinion.

I think I am much more physically confident, not in looks, but in the strength I've found and a better connection with my own body that I never had before. Going to the gym, particularly lifting weights, has led me to be more in touch with myself. I feel like my strength (really, I'm not that strong, I just feel strong :p) gives me confidence to walk around the rest of my day with my head high and my shoulders back. Going to the gym and facing "the big boy's section" and learning to walk in there without caring what those muscleheads (forgive the stereotype) think when I use the weight bench has "trained" me to not care what people think anywhere else, either.

And eating better has given me more sustained energy to face the day. I have a better grasp on what I can accomplish, and once I've set out to do it, am determined to plug away at it until i get it done. Like Pink Geranium said, my mood is definitely more balanced by my diet. I used to suffer from sugar lows (not diabetes, just felt my blood sugar drop and energy plummet). I don't have those now with my daily diet.

But I must add that some of my personality remains the same. My "dry, sarcastic sense of humor" is still there, according to my friends. I still love to read books, am obsessive compulsively organized, a homebody, and can be a bit stubborn and like to have a daily routine. Some things definitely stay the same.

I think I've lost my point in my ramblings... oops! I have gone through major changes way beyond superficial, is the moral of the story.

Great topic. How interesting to read other's responses too.

Losing my weight has totally changed me. Before I was waiting to die and now I am living. Everyone that knows me is shocked at how my life has changed.

Like Robin mentioned, I'm a better citizen. Before I was the disabled person, now I give up my seat or place in line to the disabled person. I don't take up that closer parking spot anymore. I have offered to help people carry heavy objects. I've helped a neighbor change the flat tire on her car. These are things I could not have done before.

I'm a better mother. I participate more in my children's activities. I'm first in line at the school if there is any kind of conflict. Before I'd maybe make a phone call. I'm conscious of keeping healthy food in the house for my kids. I try to keep them interested in taking walks or going to the gym with me.

Maybe even the remodeling of my health and life is what spurred me to want to remodel my entire home. I'm simply becoming more organized. I want neatness, cleaness surrounding me. I've now involved the girls in a chore list to help keep our home beautiful. This is something that I wouldn't do before. The old me thought this was cruel and that by doing it I was admitting that I was too fat and lazy to keep the house clean. The new me says no, we all live here and should take pride in keeping our home beautiful and it isn't because I'm fat or lazy.

My wardrobe has definitely changed. I now have some reds , yellows, greens, whites. No more dressing dark all the time to try to hide my body. I'm more likely to buy clothing that is fitted now. Before I would rarely spend money on clothes for me but would spend lots of money on my kids clothes. I now think I'm worth having nice clothing.

I'm much more outgoing everywhere I go. I'm not shy anymore. I'm right up there belting out a tune at Karaoke. Like others mentioned, I chat with people at the bank, the grocery store, basically anywhere. I keep my head up and make eye contact.

Everyone that knows me says I'm easier to get along with. I'm happier. The reverse of this is I don't feel like I let the people in my life run over me anymore. I stand up for myself now. I am no longer a push-over. As someone else mentioned, I used to think I was so lucky to have gotten my DH, now I think he is so lucky to have gotten me.

What a great thread! This should be inspirationg for everybody. I'm now down 30lb and I think maybe I can do this, Lord willing.

Originally Posted by Megan1982:

Great topic. How interesting to read other's responses too.

It never ceases to amaze how similar humans can be, yet be so different at the same time. Am I making any sense?

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. I'll never stop saying that this website is a wonderful place for me to be on this journey to a healthier me. :)

This actually sparked off quite the philosophical debate for me, personally...which is a good thing, though sort of crazy.

Do I define "me" as some abstract, core thing that I view as the center of myself (values, basic personality, etc), or do I define "me" as my actions? Because my answer to this question changes completely depending which perspective I take.

Originally Posted by mandalinn82:
Do I define "me" as some abstract, core thing that I view as the center of myself (values, basic personality, etc), or do I define "me" as my actions? Because my answer to this question changes completely depending which perspective I take.

I guess my original question was directed to the abstract "you", but it's very interesting to read all the responses. Some have changed the abstract person along with the person defined by their actions. Some change one aspect and not the other.

Makes you think doesn't it? :)