[friendlykat4u]

I always hear of people saying that losing weight has completely changed their lives. That got me thinking, does losing weight really change who you are as a person?

I'm not talking about the obvious changes that come along with losing weight. You're more fit, have more energy, better health, better looks, more confidence. I'm talking about personality changes. Were you shy and now you're outgoing? We're you sad and now you're happier? Were you more laid back now you're control freak? Things like that.

I've heard people say "I can't wait to lose weight so I can do...". And I know there are many activities that are easier if you're not overweight/obese. I also know that some people feel like they have their lives on hold until they lose the weight, and their true personalities don't come out until they do.

From my personal experience, when I lost a significant amount of weight (I was 150 lbs at one point), I was the same person as when I was bigger. My taste in clothes didn't change, I did have more options, but it wasn't anything dramatic. My personality stayed the same. I was still me, only smaller.

Have you experienced big personality changes since you've lost the weight? What were some of those changes. Were you surprised about them? Anything you miss about the life you had before losing the weight?

[rockinrobin]

So no, I'm not the same person. Thank G-d. The "old" me, she was not very happy or productive or living up to her full potential.

My core beliefs are the same. My morals, values and the such have not changed. Not one iota.

But most other things have. I'm a happier person now. And that reflects on everything that I do and say. And frankly, how I AM. I am more confident, I don't have the burden of all that fat on me, holding me back from speaking my mind and freeing me up to be the "real me". It's kind of hard to explain. Hopefully Meg or Glory will pop in here and explain it much better then I ever could .

I delight in ordinary things now. Doing the laundry is more enjoyable, yup I get a huge kick out of seeing my tiny, cute undies, instead of dreading looking at the old ones and worrying if one of my family would catch a peek at them and see just how big they were.

I don't worry as much as I used to. I was always worried about social functions, seats and clothing and socializing at them. I was constantly worried about my health. I was worried about my future and my kids future without a mother. I was saddened by the fact that I was not the best mom that I should be. That I could be. Having a life full of less worries is bound to change a person.

I am full of energy now, instead of listless and lethargic. Having that new found energy can't help but change you. I am so much more productive then I was in the past.

There really is not one area of my life that has not been affected/changed by this weight loss of mine. And that simply changes you. How could it not?

There is not one thing that I can think of that I miss in my "old" life and will do everything in my power (and yes, it's in MY power) to never, ever go there again. I'm done settling for second best, when first best was/is there for the taking.

[MindiV]

Like rockinrobin said, I'm also the same person, inside. However, so far I've had the exact opposite experience, as far as confidence.

When I was over 200 pounds, I was comfortable with myself and my body. I knew what looked good on me, and I felt good about myself. I wanted to lose weight to become more healthy, and also to get ready to eventually have children. I thought I'd automatically have more confidence, as well.

So far, wrong-o. I'm a smaller size, but I'm SO unsure of myself now. My butt is gone, my boobs are gone and I just want to hide everything all the time. I don't have a clue what looks good on me anymore, and I think I look frumpy and dumpy all the time. Shopping for clothes has become a confusing, overwhelming experience because I can't figure out WHERE to shop anymore. Before I could find a plus size section and go for it...but now I don't know if I should go to women's, misses, juniors or what.

And the husband...he says he likes the change. When I was bigger he liked me just the same...but when he'd look at a woman on TV with large breasts or a nice backside, I'd be comfortable with it. Heck, I'd compare us and think I came out on top. Now...I just want to cry!! My size D cups are now Bs, at best.

I know it'll change in time, and especially when I learn to shop again. I can't wait for that time, though...

Sorry to be so negative...

[junebug41]

I'm not the same person. I know this may not come out right, but I think part of it is that since I hold my health to a higher regard, I hold myself as a whole to a higher regard. My values and core beliefs are still the same. I have the same dry sense of humor, but I approach things with less fear and more confidence. I am way more laid back in situations. I think my perspective has shifted outward a bit. I was in a way trapped in my body and therefore was kind of a prisoner to my insecurities, but that has changed. I also think I'm a more reasonable, even-keeled person. This isn't to say that losing weight is responsible for all of that, but it was/is an incredible journey that certainly helped my grow up.

[junebug41]

Originally Posted by rockinrobin

So no, I'm not the same person. Thank G-d. The "old" me, she was not very happy or productive or living up to her full potential.

My core beliefs are the same. My morals, values and the such have not changed. Not one iota.

But most other things have. I'm a happier person now. And that reflects on everything that I do and say. And frankly, how I AM. I am more confident, I don't have the burden of all that fat on me, holding me back from speaking my mind and freeing me up to be the "real me". It's kind of hard to explain. Hopefully Meg or Glory will pop in here and explain it much better then I ever could .

I delight in ordinary things now. Doing the laundry is more enjoyable, yup I get a huge kick out of seeing my tiny, cute undies, instead of dreading looking at the old ones and worrying if one of my family would catch a peek at them and see just how big they were.

I don't worry as much as I used to. I was always worried about social functions, seats and clothing and socializing at them. I was constantly worried about my health. I was worried about my future and my kids future without a mother. I was saddened by the fact that I was not the best mom that I should be. That I could be. Having a life full of less worries is bound to change a person.

I am full of energy now, instead of listless and lethargic. Having that new found energy can't help but change you. I am so much more productive then I was in the past.

There really is not one area of my life that has not been affected/changed by this weight loss of mine. And that simply changes you. How could it not?

There is not one thing that I can think of that I miss in my "old" life and will do everything in my power (and yes, it's in MY power) to never, ever go there again. I'm done settling for second best, when first best was/is there for the taking.

Forget what I said, I would like to piggy-back on robin's quote, please

[3Beans]

I'm not a maintainer yet, but felt like I could comment since I'm at a stage where my weight is no longer a hindrance to me.

I hadn't really thought about this before. And maybe this is just the PMS talking. But I actually think I was more outgoing at my higher weights. Perhaps I felt I had to be the fun cheerful girl to compensate for being fat. I wasn't really happy on the inside like 80% of that time, though. Now, I feel free to express my inner curmudgeon.

I guess that's a form of confidence, right? If not the form that leaps to mind for most.

[LittleMoonRabbit]

Junebug, you said something that really struck a chord with me: "since I hold my health to a higher regard, I hold myself as a whole to a higher regard" I have noticed, as my body changes, my own sense of self worth changes. Before, I used to believe that because I was overweight, I was a failure... and therefore, I didn't deserve anything wonderful. I actually used to tell myself that my husband falling in love with me was a fluke and sooner or later, he'd come to his senses and leave me. How awful is that?????? I can't believe I used to think these things. As the weight comes off, I see myself in a new light- not because I am smaller on the outside, but because I can see how much dedication and perserverence I have inside myself now. I never used to notice these good qualities about myself- it's as though I am descovering a whole new me that I never knew existed, and it's rather exciting! I also feel better about waking up in the morning- now I think to myself: what wonderful thing about myself am I going to discover today?? And it's such a wonderful feeling to have that enthusiasm about who I am.

[rockinrobin]

Originally Posted by junebug41

I'm not the same person. I know this may not come out right, but I think part of it is that since I hold my health to a higher regard, I hold myself as a whole to a higher regard. My values and core beliefs are still the same. I have the same dry sense of humor, but I approach things with less fear and more confidence. I am way more laid back in situations. I think my perspective has shifted outward a bit. I was in a way trapped in my body and therefore was kind of a prisoner to my insecurities, but that has changed. I also think I'm a more reasonable, even-keeled person. This isn't to say that losing weight is responsible for all of that, but it was/is an incredible journey that certainly helped my grow up.

Sorry there Junebug, I think YOU put it perfectly. Each and every word that you said. I feel this same exact way. Exactly.

Yes, that's it, I DO hold my health to a higher regard now and therefore myself as a whole. There was just so much shame involved in my old life. And now I'm so proud of my choices. It's just made me feel stronger about my convictions. It's really hard to explain..........

[junebug41]

Originally Posted by LittleMoonRabbit

Junebug, you said something that really struck a chord with me: "since I hold my health to a higher regard, I hold myself as a whole to a higher regard" I have noticed, as my body changes, my own sense of self worth changes. Before, I used to believe that because I was overweight, I was a failure... and therefore, I didn't deserve anything wonderful. I actually used to tell myself that my husband falling in love with me was a fluke and sooner or later, he'd come to his senses and leave me. How awful is that?????? I can't believe I used to think these things. As the weight comes off, I see myself in a new light- not because I am smaller on the outside, but because I can see how much dedication and perserverence I have inside myself now. I never used to notice these good qualities about myself- it's as though I am descovering a whole new me that I never knew existed, and it's rather exciting! I also feel better about waking up in the morning- now I think to myself: what wonderful thing about myself am I going to discover today?? And it's such a wonderful feeling to have that enthusiasm about who I am.

I KNOW! How on earth to we get our self worth tangled up with weight? I know many people who for one reason or another do NOT do that and I say, good for them. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't felt the way I did, would I have had the same inspiration to change, though? I was sick of the connection between my self worth and regard to my weight and I think that's where the ultimate change happened within me.

I had a very hard time when I was younger with what seemed like EVERYONE making me feel like I would somehow be better if I wasn't fat. I just internalized it so much that I couldn't help but feel inferior. I think that is my biggest regret in life, but on the other hand, that may just be how I was accustomed to internalizing things

All I know is, I've learned my lesson!

[BlueToBlue]

I think I'm still me, just brighter. My personality, sense of humor, core beliefs, etc. haven't changed. But I'm far far happier. It's changed how others see and respond to me. I don't always notice it myself, but my friends have.

One thing that has changed is that I've become far more "girly." Other than my hair, I was never into "girly" stuff before. Now I am big into jewelry, make-up, accessories, bath products, etc. My toes are always pedicured and I get regular bikini waxes. I have so many bottles of scented moisturizer I'll never have dry skin again and I buy a different kind of shampoo every time I run out. I've started adding pink to my wardrobe.

[mandalinn82]

Interesting question, for sure.

On the one hand, I'm still the same in a lot of ways. I still love the same things I always loved. I still have the same core values. I still have a lot of the same issues, insecurities, and beliefs that are negative about myself, too. So that stuff hasn't changed...the issues I had before, I still have, and will have to continue working on well into maintenance and beyond. I believe that these are the things that make a person, really...the stuff at the core...so in that sense, I haven't really changed much.

On the other hand, there are lots of things are different. Losing weight taught me some things...how to stand up for myself, how to make myself a priority. It gave me a certain amount of faith in myself to acheive great things that I never had before (although I still struggle with this). The way I approach challenges is different. I like getting dressed more, now, since things look better.

When I say that losing weight has completely changed my life, I'm talking more about the day-to-day. The way I live my life is COMPLETELY different than when I was bigger. I used to eat out all the time - no more...now a good portion of my day is dedicated to food prep, shopping, meal planning, FitDay...and what free time isn't dedicated there is SO much more active, not only in a formal exercise sense, but just in general.

I've become a "busy" person...always cleaning, standing, moving, etc. I was the polar opposite of that before. As I took better care of my body, I started noticing what else was in disarray, and as a result, take better care of my home (a clean house is one of my favorite "side benefits" of the weight loss).

So whether I'm different depends on how you define "me" - is it the stuff at my core? If so, then no, I'm just a smaller me. If it's the other stuff, then there were big changes.

[lipidful]

Very interesting topic. I'd have to say that in a lot of ways, I have changed. I think a lot of it is in reaction to other people's reactions to me. I don't know if it's my true self coming out or what. Some people might say that perhaps they like "new me" less. I think maybe I'm not as spontaneous or I hold back more than I used to. A lot of my "craziness" from before had to do with maybe a covering up of my true self, or my true feelings, perhaps?
Also, after seeing how close family members treated me in the process of my weight loss and while I was trying to maintain, I am just disappointed in people in general. I don't want to be around certain people as much as I used to because I keep playing over and over in my head the suspicions of how I was losing weight, and how I must have been doing something bad to myself, and subtle sabotaging mind games. It sounds awful, I know, but I do NOT want to go back to where I was for people who, consciously or unconsciously want to keep me "in my place". I don't drink as much alcohol (to me a waste of calories), so some might think I'm not as fun as I used to be. So I guess I am different. I'm fine with myself, but like I said, some people might think I'm not as fun or something or more reserved. Oh well.
Sorry to bring any negative side to this, but that's how I feel. I'm fine within myself, but I do feel as though interpersonal relationships have been challenged.

[rockinrobin]

Okay, sorry, this is the 3rd time I'm responding here.

I thought of some more ways that I've been changed. And I hope it doesn't come out wrong. It's hard to "say" it, yet alone "write" it via the internet.

I am without a doubt a better mother. I mean if nothing else I feed my kids the best stuff on earth. I have more energy for them. More patience even.
The house they live in is cleaner. I know that sounds silly, But I'm physically able to clean better. I was up on a ladder today, all over the place, cleaning the top of the fridge, the top of the window frames,etc..

I'm a better citizen. While on public transportation I give up my seat so regularly now. I simply could not stand back in the day and the only way I would give up a seat is if someone was truly, truly handicapped or extremely elderly. I now give up my seat (offer it) willingly to practically anyone even a little bit older then me. I now volunteer at a hospital, visiting the elderly. That was out of the question in the past.

I'm a better friend. Having found out certain things about myself while on this journey, it's made me more understanding. I am a better listener and better able to give advice.

I am without a doubt friendlier. I always though I compensated for my weight by being almost overly friendly, but in retrospect, that's not so true. I am much friendlier and open now. I gab with anyone and everyone. In stores, the bank, you name it.

This whole thing was a true learning experience. It was emotional. It was life altering.

[paperclippy]

I think in general I'm still the same person. I'm happier with how I look, but I don't feel like my personality has really changed. I wasn't able to lose weight until I had already developed some self-confidence, so it's not like I suddenly became way more confident. I am more active in general and no longer enjoy spending an entire day on the couch, but that's not really a personality change IMO.

[JayEll]

I was not overweight growing up, and I was pretty much a normal-weight adult for a lot of years. I gained a bunch of weight starting around my mid-30s and it just went up (and down and up and down and up, each time higher up) from there until I got to 198.

So no, I don't feel that losing weight has made me a different person--I feel that gaining weight made me someone I was not. I now feel more like the "real me" again.

Jay