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Old 04-13-2008, 04:32 AM   #1  
Learning to love myself.
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I lost half my body weight over two years ago (took me two and a half years to do) and have been pretty much sitting within a 'kinda' OK range since then. I put on a little too much for my liking when I was on an anti-depressant and am gradually trying to get that off.

I originally set my goal weight at 150lbs, but I have a LOT of excess skin and have decided that I don't want to try to push myself to get that low. People said I looked too gaunt at 161lbs, but I am still setting my goal at 160, just to have something extra to aim for. I am not upset that I am not there at the moment. I am still feeling great and getting lots of wonderful compliments, so I am not too fussed about the actual number.

What I was just thinking about though, is why I haven't really posted on this maintainers forum much before. I just responded to a post then and kinda felt like a fraud. I think that is because I have never really reached - and spent a long time at - my 'goal' weight. So, therefore I can't really say that I am maintaining my goal weight. Mind you, I AM maintaining having lost half my body weight! Sometimes our minds mess with us. This is the reason I have always said that I think weight loss is 15% healthy eating, 5% exercise and 80% mental. Without getting your head around everything, the rest is just TOO HARD.

Oh well... just the wandering thoughts of someone who will maybe look at posting more in this forum from now on. I think I have deserved the label 'maintainer' after two years. I just bought my second charm for my bracelet. I am buying one for each year of keeping the weight off. The first one was a heart, as I lost the weight for my health and to live longer to be with my wonderful new husband - thus heart health and love. My second charm was a butterfly, because I have most definitely come out of my coccoon since losing the weight and I am still spreading my wings and finding new places to fly.

I hope to get to know you all better over time.

Take care,

Zelma

P.S. You may find that I 'talk' too much. Sorry.
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Old 04-13-2008, 05:53 AM   #2  
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Zelma, we've been saving a seat for you for a long time, so You absolutely belong here! Believe me, you're not the only one here who isn't quite at the weight she wants to be at and/or who feels like a bit of a fraud. But the key is -- as you pointed out -- you are successfully maintaining the loss of half of yourself!! So, like it or not, you are most definitely a maintainer. And we'd love to have you join us to share your insights and experiences -- and challenges and stumbles.

And if you like to talk, you're going to fit in just fine here.

We're all looking forward to hearing lots more from you!!
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:54 AM   #3  
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Smile Zelma, we need you, please stay!

Again, , Zelma! I did check out your before and after photos as well as your "Weight Lose Document". Thank you for sharing the how, why and when you lost your weight. It is a great help for those of us who "aspire" to do the same as you have.

Zelma, we need you here on 3FCs, please stay and post as often as you can and feel like. You are an inspiration to all of us!

As you said, losing weight is 80% mental. As I have said before, getting rid of the fat body is "easy", it is the "fat head" that is more difficult.

I love the idea of the charm bracelet. I really like the idea of each charm meaning something significant to you.

In the past, I too have rewarded myself with a special piece of jewelry whenever I feel I have acheived something special.

When I was divorced from an abusive husband, I bought myself a ruby and diamond heart pendant that whenever I wear it I am reminded of the courage I needed to ask this man for a divorce. It was very painful for me to admit the mistake I had made and how it affected both myself and my young daughter (at the time). I also have said I lost over 200 lbs even before beginning to diet and I am refering to my ex-husband when I say that.

You are a beautiful woman inside and out. Please stay here and share with us your feelings, thoughts and insights. You are definitely most

God bless and love, Zelma

Pam

Last edited by pamatga; 04-13-2008 at 06:55 AM.
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Old 04-13-2008, 08:14 AM   #4  
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Zelma, I am SOOO happy to "see" you here. Call me selfish, but I know you being here will DEFINTELY benefit all of us here. And most definitely yourself as well. This maintenance stuff IS a roller coaster ride for sure. If you don't belong here, having lost 1/2 yourself, well then, I'm not sure who does!

I hate the term "goal" weight. I've been using "target" weight lately. Not sure if that's a great term either. But that is all inconcequential. It doesn't matter whether we've hit that "number" and then lost it or got close to it can't get any closer or yada, yada, yada. What matters is that we've lost weight and are looking to maintain THAT loss. And you're obviously doing an excellent job, having kept off your life transfroming loss for 2 years

I simply love, love, LOVE the idea of your charm bracelet. My 1 year maintenance anniversary is right around the corner and I just may steal your idea! See, already I'm benefiting .

You always have such wise things to say. I look forward to hearing much more from you. Welcome, welcome, WELCOME.
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Old 04-13-2008, 09:34 AM   #5  
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Zelma,
Welcome I've always wondered why we didn't see you in here before.

Reaching a target weight, achieving milestones in physique or fitness pale in comparison to the daily achievement of keeping off half your one-time body weight.


I understand your feelings of fraud. I'm at 6 1/2 years and still feel that way- one of the reasons I never posted a Success Story. When I started this journey, like so many others, I thought losing the weight was the issue and when the scale showed that magical number, I could proclaim "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED". Little did I realize that like in another infamous use of that statement, the mission was really only starting and may never end.

But no matter how hard we still work physically, the the ongoing battle to match the inner person to the new physical reality, keeping off a significant percentage of body weight is a huge achievement!

I don't post as much here as I used to, but I love the discussions and insights, reading about the differing paths that brought us all here.

Please join in!

Mel
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Old 04-13-2008, 10:27 AM   #6  
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Zelma, I looked at your pics, what a transformation! Congratulations! You definetely are a maintainer.
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Old 04-13-2008, 10:35 AM   #7  
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Hi Zelma! Great to see you over here! I love your stories and insights and will be glad to benefit from them here as well as 300+!
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Old 04-13-2008, 10:40 AM   #8  
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I am of the mind that we become maintainers once we take off one pound and keep it off.

So I too think you belong here, and have for a long time. I always appreciate your wisdom and inspirational posts.
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Old 04-13-2008, 11:18 AM   #9  
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Hi Zelma,

Welcome and congratulations on your amazing accomplishments!!! Please jump in and feel free to post anytime. I personally think "maintenance" is a fluid state and it doesn't necessarily mean that you're in the maintenance club when you're at a rigid, set weight and you're out of it the second you step over that weight, etc. etc. Many people use different measures to say they're at goal - weight, pants size, body fat %, blood pressure, cholesterol, simply feeling good, and so on. Additionally you'll find a lot of us "maintainers" aren't exactly where we want to be all the time, but still consider ourselves maintainers (I'm an example of that!).

I love your bracelet idea. What a great way to remind yourself of all you've achieved.

Please stick around! Also, we all "talk" a lot. So don't even worry about that.

Megan
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Old 04-13-2008, 02:07 PM   #10  
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Hey Zelma So happy to have you post in the maintainer's forum! I also loooove the charm bracelet idea! The heart and butterfly are AWESOME.
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Old 04-13-2008, 03:02 PM   #11  
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happy you're here, you most definitely deserve it!

and like others have said, the charm bracelet idea is wonderful.

hope to see you around
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:55 PM   #12  
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Welcome Zelma. I justs read everything on your website and I have to give you major props for talking about the rough times you had and the "post loss" kind of let down. Your pics are great and your attitude about where your body wants to be versus a number on the scale are good lessons. Again- so glad you shared this all with us and look forward to continuing to participate in your journey.
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Old 04-14-2008, 04:39 AM   #13  
Learning to love myself.
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Thank you all for your wonderful welcoming comments. I had a brainwave while I was out walking today... maybe the fresh air cleared out some cobwebs.

I figured that maybe the reason I don't see myself at 'maintenance' is because I seem to be forever losing and gaining weight. Over and over again. Twice a month I gain up to 10lbs. Yep! That is a lot huh? During ovulation and my period I can gain a LOT of weight. Now, some of that could be due to hormones and some of it could be due to nibbling extra little bits of food here and there (usually still healthy food, just a little more) due to craving from hormone fluctuations. Whatever the reason, the scale goes up twice a month and I bring it down just in time for it to go up again.

So... after all of that. Because the scale doesn't actually sit in one spot (even in the same few pounds) for very long, I don't actually see myself as 'maintaining'. So, I'm going to decide that I am maintaining as long as I am in a certain range. I think I will make it between 160 and 180lbs at the moment. That sounds like a wide range, and I may fine-tune it a little more at a later date, but that will do for the moment.

Perhaps when menopause finally settles in I may not have these major fluctuations and will actually be able to set maintenance within a much smaller range. That will have to be a "wait and see" thing.

Thank you for the lovely comments about the charm bracelet idea. I actually pinched it off someone else who was going to buy a charm for each 'milestone' on their weightloss journey, but I had already lost my weight when I read that, so I modified the idea. I have realised that I may fit 8 or 9 years worth of charms on each bracelet, so I am going to end up with quite a few charm bracelets over the years. And I am going to wear each and every one of those charms with pride. I look at my heart and butterfly SO often and tell myself that I am proud of myself for earning them. I can't wait to see lots and lots of them together. For some reason I don't have any doubts that I WILL have lots of charms to show off over the years. There just doesn't seem any doubt in my mind that I will not keep the weight off, which is an incredibly empowering feeling.

Thanks again for such a warm welcome. I'll try to chat often, but when school goes back (I've got two weeks off for mid-term break at the moment) I may get a little 'slack' with posting.

Take care,

Zelma

Last edited by ZedAus; 04-14-2008 at 07:01 PM. Reason: Not happy with the wording of a little bit.
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Old 04-14-2008, 08:18 AM   #14  
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Zelma, several of us maintainers do indeed have a "range" we maintain in. Once we have crossed the upper boundary, we consider ourselves over the "red line" and have various techniques of eating totally clean and on plan until we get under the line. (I feel like I keep saying "we" as if we're some kind of cult! lol) I think a range of weight is just fine, b/c our bodies can fluctuate so much from water weight changes alone.
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Old 04-14-2008, 08:27 AM   #15  
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Zelma, I "fluctuate" all the time also. Though having thrown myself into full blown menopause by the weight loss, I can't blame it on hormones. I "blame" it on overeating. Even the healthy stuff. Then not overeating, then overeating........ I most certainly do give myself a "range". I'm not sure if I'll ever see the same weight 2 Mondays in a row, but I'm working on it. And if I don't, well then I don't.

As far as that charm bracelet, I 've already told you I love the idea and might kidnap it. Today as I was reading this post about it and all it means to you, I got all teary eyed. I must tell you that sometimes I am rather hard on myself and then I need to take a look and remind myself for goodness sakes where I've "come from". I think the bracelet would be a good reminder for me. My own personal "little trophy".

And yes, I've no doubt you will be filling that baby all the way up and eventually have an armful of bracelets. :
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