I am not in the mintenance phase but I feel like this topic is most appropriate for this crowd.

I recently went on Metformin for polycystic ovarian syndrome and it has helped curbed my appetite. I have lost 15 lb so far on it and the biggest thing I've noticed is that food just doesnt help me with emotions like it used to.

When I was bigger, I would get cheese fries or other fried foods to make me feel better when I was stressed. Bad day? Ice cream will fix it!

Now, I just don't get that much out of food and when I am stressed, I don't know what to do. I didn't realize how much food came into play in my dealing with stress. I had no idea how much I used it to cope until now, when it doesn't work.

I know with weight loss surgery people sometimes feel this way. And as maintainers (with or without WLS) I figured you all could relate to this since overeating and coping with problems often go hand in hand.

Can you give me any insight into this? What have you replaced eating with in your life?

I have replaced emotional and stress related eating with going to the gym to work out and cleaning the house. There's always some little job around the house to keep me busy. And if I don't feel like doing either of those, I'll go take a nice long warm bubble bath and read a book!

WOW, what an excellent question. I think that was my downfall, i never learned coping skills. I had lost 115 pounds, gained back 100 of it. I just never learned how to "self comfort". I am really looking forward to replies to your question. It reminds me of an alcoholic, sort of, they drink to get rid of troubles, they have to learn coping skills. I think it is very important that we also learn those coping skills, how to deal with a bad day, etc. without seeking out food to mask the hurt, confusion, and frustration of life. I guess i just had a lightbulb moment from your question...i need coping skills.
p.s. I am have PCOS too, and ob wants to start me on metformin...looking forward to it.

I am moving in a few days, and I thought that Little Debbie would help me through this stressful time of buying a house and all that it entails....but a box of Nutty Bars later, she let me down. I know exactly what you mean...I have 15 lbs to get to my ultimate goal of 145. The closere I get, the more I freak out and attempt to eat the problems away...I just end up frustrated that not only am I stressed, I've now over eaten as well.

I am sorry that i'm not more help. People have suggested knitting or crocheting but I have such difficulty with those two things that I eat out of frustration...maybe it's hard now because we're delving into uncharted territories? A world with out an edible crutch? Perhaps....

Well, to be blunt, I can turn to shopping and drinking instead of eating (but ironically it sometimes coincides with the overeating -- well, I guess there are very logical reasons for that). I recently had big changes in my life, and I would have gained 50 pounds back if it wasn't for the drinking and shopping. BUT, don't worry, because the credit cards have been cut up, and I refuse to waste my hard earned money on alcohol or crap I don't need. And, I got a handle on the eating as well (it was slipping). So what's going to be the replacement this time around -- who knows? I really hope it can be exercise -- but I just never can get into that much.

Ooooh great question!

I've recently given up food as my coping mechanism. And guess what? I've discovered I'm a crier! I used to NEVER cry - as I teenager I saw it as a sign of weakness and I had to be strong for my Mum and look after her emotional needs. I turned to food as a way to control something.

So on Friday when I was tired and physically drained and beaten up and sore I went home and cried. When I'd seen a flat that was a hovel and tiny and so run down that it made me depressed that we'd never be able to afford anywhere half-decent I went home and cried!

On Sunday when I was angry with DH and I usually eat to quell my anger, I realised that I was angry and I tried to talk myself out of being angry. I tried to relax and look at the positives of the situation. When I am completely insane with anger I put on my boxing gloves and punch the wall, if I'm not due at a sparring class!

If I'm stressed I like to take a time out for about 5 minutes and go outside and breathe the (relatively) fresh air and go for a brisk walk/jog just for a few minutes. I also try to manage my life and bits and pieces so I don't get stressed, there are things like moving where some stress is inevitable, however I like to get things sorted out early so it's not all last minute.

If everything else fails and I can't do any of my "coping" things, then I just allow myself to sit down and FEEL whatever it is I'm feeling. I've never really realised before but it IS ok to feel sad, it's ok to be angry and it's fine to be stressed. Sometimes I don't like feeling sad, mad, depressed, whatever but I realise that it'll pass in 10 minutes or a day or even a week - there's always an end to what you're feeling. Moods are transient and it's what makes us human!

If all else fails and I'm sitting at my computer, I go and put the laama song on (it's a silly flash video on a website, you can google!). It always makes me smile! Either that or I visit www.cuteoverload.com and I also think about cuddilng a dog/cat if I'm really depressed (I don't have any pets, but sometimes just thinking about snuggling with a furry thing cheers me up).

So there are lots of things you can do, but you don't HAVE to do anything. It IS ok to FEEL.

2frustrated, it is good to see you around, we haven't seen many posts from you lately!

phatgirl, I also use food to cope with emotions. I have not completely mastered using different coping techniques yet, but I am getting better at it. I find that if I am really stressed, and all I can think is "I need a candy bar," that if I resist I will actually feel better about the stress and about myself later. Here are my coping techniques . . .

- go for a walk, even if it's in the middle of the work day. A quick jaunt around my office building makes me feel better.
- go outside and get some fresh air. take deep breaths.
- exercise! Jogging especially makes me feel better. In fact, the more intense the workout the better I feel afterward. Especially with my favorite upbeat music blasting in my ears.
- shave my legs. I don't know why, I can't explain it, but for some reason completely ridding myself of leg hair makes me feel refreshed and de-stressed.
- take a hot bath, with bubble bath
- go shopping. I know, it's not a great habit, but retail therapy really does work for me.
- get a hug from a loved one
- if I really feel like I need to EAT to feel better, I'll eat an apple or something healthy before turning to junk.
- listen to some upbeat, happy music.
- like frus said, look at pictures of cute animals. I keep books of pictures of puppies in my house, along with a huge pile of stuffed dogs who are my companions when I am upset. If you actually have a real pet, spending some time with them can help too.

This morning I woke up and was mildly depressed from my outting w/Little Debbie...but then I read this post.. thank you so much...
Even just knowing that you're not alone helps so much. Yeah, I over ate..but I learned from it and didn't go back for seconds ( I could have bought another box. I did have to go back to the store)...but I do have a soft pet, music, work out options, a blog, journals,ect... and I find that vaccuuming helps. If my floor is clean, I will clean the rest and the world will be good. It shows me that I am worth more than the sum of my parts. When my husband married me, I was about 10 lbs lighter than I am now. 10 lbs? that's nothing in the scheme of things ( only when you lose it...then it's huge!!).
Even though this wasn't my thread, I still thank you all for your help with it. Soon I will be in SChaumburg, IL...and my new life will start..

^
what's going on in IL? Do you start a new job?

It feels so good not to be alone in this. What insightful replies! Thanks!

I have not yet mastered the art of not stress eating. I am better at it now than I used to be though. Now, I tend to clean this house like crazy when I feel stress. I've also been known to go for a walk outside to just get away from it all. (Even in the dark, I just carry a big flashlight and walk up and down my long driveway.) Sometimes, I just open my windows and turn on loud country music videos and pound out my frustration on my treadmill.